Viola

There are days when you remember how alone you are. This is one of those days

They say some good things never last. At least it felt good for a while. Back to regular programming... Where my heart aches

Thoughts for today: im single. Im free. My heart is broken but im willing to try again. I dont know if im ready, but the first step is to try. I just wish i can meet someone who dont normalize ghosting, who would at least tell you what's up instead of disappearing like a coward. 

Thoughts: this morning, i felt sad. Really sad. This afternoon, i told myself, the first single guy who would ask me out, i will say yes to. This evening, someone asked me out. I dont know him i dont know his intentions. But i said yes. Might be a stupid decision though. But in my defense, i am extremely sad.

To the boy who ghosted me the day after Christmas.  You had a special place in my heart. I will always wish you good things. I know now that I don't deserve you, I deserve more.

To the one making me smile now, I don't know where things will go. But I will just cherish our time together and see where life takes us. You might not say it, but I can see how you feel in your eyes and all your actions. I only wanted to flirt with you, I didn't expect it will turn out this way. When I was confused, when I wanted to let go, you held on to me. Im glad you did. 

Today is one of the saddest days of my life. I lost my job as a result of this global recession. I lost something that i am truly proud of. It is very rare to find a job that gives you pride and joy.

Today, i will wallow and mourn this loss. I'll cry myself to sleep. Tomorrow, i'll plan what's next for me. 

Today's stress levels are up. I need to relax. I can feel tension on my neck and up my temples. 

Tonight, I just need someone to talk to. 

Vday na bukas. Wala akong ka date. #sawi 

I guess i'll just do overtime

Waking up from a nightmare isnt a good feeling

Wala akong date nung bday ko, sana naman sa vday meron. 

We had a rough start, but when i tried to leave, he pulled me right back. And im glad he did. We aren't perfect. We are working through all our issues. We are willing to exert time and effort to understand each other and be more respectful of each other. 

Saying good morning to him to start our day and goodnight to him to end our day is precious. 

Being together while doing our own things, not talking but being aware of each other's presence is time well spent.

Spending time in the day to talk about anything from the most mundane things to the most philosophical thoughts is exquisite.

Hoping to have more days with him. Wishing for a lifetime together..

Weekends tend to highlight how alone and lonely i am. 

Well i wish we still have the individual rooms as it has served as a venue for mu thoughts

Well this is late, but 2021 has taught me not to wait on anyone who doesn't want to be there or who can't decide if they want to be there.

So for 2022, i'll just plunge straight ahead and damn who gets left behind. 

Im no longer waiting. If you want to be where im heading, then decide now.

Well.. selosa pa rin pala ako. 

Well... This process hurts.

Woke up because of a nightmare. I started hyperventilating and my body was shaking. Until now im shaking. Times like now, i wish i were in someone's arms. 

Woke up in the middle of the night to an anxiety attack.

Cant breathe. 

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I cant seem to shake off this feeling of loneliness and sadness. It must be the holiday season finally affecting my mood.

Woke up to a bad nightmare

You know you are old when you want to go out on a Friday night but stayed home instead because 1) you got nowhere to go, everything is too loud, 2) you are worried about the traffic, 3) you want to be in bed by 8pm. 

At my age, coffee shop na lang ang pwede puntahan. 

You wake up feeling frisky and then you get a totally crude message... frisky, seductive mood is now lost..

@cocoy0 - it was awesome... my little brother loved it. lately i've noticed that i have a little talent in the kitchen... next project is caldereta...

@ladykiller - the prices are listed with the photos.