Viola

I feel sad today. Like i lost something. It makes me want to cry. But I won't. I will try my best to live my life like normal. 

I feel so isolated from the world.

I gave you my time. You wasted it by not being truthful. Im done with you.

Im moving at my own pace, not yours. Im not waiting around for someone flaky and uncertain. 

I got new eyeglasses made.. im feeling really cute today

I just want an effing drink. 

I need a hug

I tried. It didnt work out. I knew it didnt stand a chance from the start. There's just too many things stacked against us. 

Now, I'll just brace myself for the inevitable. 

Needless to say, im very sad 

I want to go out, unwind and forget. Before monday comes again and i have to face the daily grind. 

I was so frustrated today that i cried. I need to do some deep breathing. 

I wonder how you are doing now. You said you'd always be around, but you are long gone. 

Iiyak na lang. Getting your heart broken sucks.

Im a regular member. Im not for hire. 

Im not gonna waste my time getting to know someone who keeps so many secrets. Im done.

On a side note, im turning the big 40 soon. Im thinking how to celebrate this milestone. 

Im quite upset today

Im turning 40 in a couple of days. Part of me feels excited because i lasted this long. Most of me feels down because i feel like life hasn't turned out the way i planned. 

But this time, i want to celebrate. Just this once, i want my day to be my day. I've ignored it in the last decade and i just want to celebrate my life. 

In a mood for a cuddle

Insomnia and anxiety attacks again. 

Isang tawag lang sa ex mo, confused ka na? Tapos sinabi ko na, ako na mag give way. Bumalik ka na sa kanya, ayaw mo din. You can't have us both. You need to choose. 

It's been almost a year. He's back to his old ways. I thought he changed. 

Itching to go out, shop, eat and play pokemon go again. It has been several months since i last went out for leisure. 

Kairita. Since i cant rant on my personal socmed, dito na lang.

Went to a salon, had them dye my hair somewhat blonde. Dirty blonde. Now i have brown skin. I love the color on me. It made my face brighter that i can see phantom rosy cheeks.

Then the day after, my older cousin saw me and commented on my hair. "wag ka magpakulay ng ganyan, mukha kang anak dagat." It was 630am in the morning. 

My bf likes it. I like it. My bestfriends like it. Ung cousin ko lang na judger ang may comment. 

At the end of the day, mu bf would be the one grabbing my hair as we play together. So his opinion would be the one that matters. 

Kairita lang. 

Last month, he was watching me sleep. Today, we decided to take a break from each other. This is the first time. It might be the last. He has regressed back to being abusive. 

Lazy sunday again

May mga araw na malungkot, may mga araw na masaya. Today is a sad day. 

Men who ghost are cowards. Is it so hard to say "it is not working out, lets end things"?

Cowards.