icewulf

Final Fantasy VIII, X & X-2

Unresolved

-=icewulf=-

A new phase and a new day,

New challengers to the fray.

A new phase and a new day,

New problems have come to stay.

A new phase and a new day,

Fear not, face it if you may.

Confusion, complication,

Time to make a decision.

Confusion, complication,

Can’t wait for revelation.

Confusion, complication,

Where is realization?

Heart, body and mind clashing,

Worlds begin to start crumbling .

Heart, body and mind clashing,

Your decisions left hanging.

Heart mind and body clashing,

Life’s pains, all complicating.

The Curse

-=icewulf=-

Nearly all my life I have been cursed.

Sleepless nights and teary eyes.

Wet pillows and heavy sighs.

Recurring nightmares with vivid scenes.

Pain, lonelines, fear, surrounding me.

Everything I do a catastrophe.

Accident prone I have become.

Breaking things or getting broken as I come.

My bestfriend is a blade and a bottle of rum.

Happiness always turns to madness.

Hardly forgiven but always giving forgiveness.

Fighting for oneself, always useless.

Sacrifices abound.

Offering myself all around.

Any thanks? None. Not a whisper, not a sound.

Should you feel the same, get in the tub.

I bid you welcome! Welcome to the club.

The club of the cursed, cursed by love.

What I Say Isn't Always What I Mean

-=icewulf=-

I don't care anymore.

Whatever you do concerns me no more.

All my begging is over and done.

Nothing can change my mind, noone.

This time it's finally over.

Your memories are all that linger.

Our love has gone and so must you.

Until death overcomes me I'll despise you.

Because of you my life is ruined.

Always and forever now gone with the wind.

Can't anymore bear the sight of you.

Kiss me goodbye...adieu.

the worst feelin in the world is the knowledge you are never enuf to fill a gap.

 

i can relate to that...on numerous situations, occassions and with numerous poeple.

voices within my brain

it sucks.

yeah. emotions have a funny way of playing.

it sucks.

why do the ones you need to hear not speak, the ones you need to see not show, the ones you need to youch not feel?

it sucks.

you try to fit in. cool. in their individual lives you're a friend, a confidant, a "brother." yet when all come together you're left in the corner.

it sucks.

is that all you can say? "it sucks"?

well it does suck...big time.

hate? nah i can't hate them...love them too much. anger? not an option either...just hug the pain and be pathetic. i hate myself when i think this way.

two words: it sucks.

shut up! i know already! just wanted to break through. to be treated as each one is.

hah! sad thing though is if you try to they'd laugh at you thinking you're just a pathetic jerk asking for attention.

it's not even that...i just hate being left out. not being able to understand what goes on while everyone laughs or jives in with a statement someone made. i ask...but no one answers, i try to but in, i go ignored.

i give them my all i do all i can...they are good to me individually, they hang out, say hi, treat me as a friend, but when all are together..well back to my little corner i must go since i look like an idiot trying to say something to those who hardly even listen or pay attention to the one who can't get what's going on...

you know why?

why?

you suck...you pathetic, self pitying...%#!@&^

oh...

i try my best to clear things up...

i try My best not to forget but to accept...

i try my best to do my part...

why do you keep haunting me still?

what do you wAnt? me? us?

is that even possible?

stop confusing me!

but then again through the pain of confusion you bring...

i find happinEss in feeling you once more...

damn...this sucks too!

just when i strat falling...

just when i start trusting...

just when i start breaking up your walls...

things get...cOnfusing...eveR so confusing...

am i getting played for a fool again?

whEn will i learn?

or is she...feeling the same way i am...

damN this sucks...

Dear "Me",

Pagkahulog

by Me

Minsan ka lang nakita.

Minsan pa lang nakakasama.

Damdamin ko'y nabihag na.

Pagiisip ko'y nawindang pa.

Sa lakas ng 'yong dating

Tila langit ang narating.

Sa sarap ng 'yong haplos

Pusoy nahulog ng lubos.

Sa 'yong isang ngiti

Kaluluwa ko'y nakiliti.

Sa 'yong isang sulyap

Ako'y natangay sa alapaap.

Bakit ngayon pa?

Bakit ngayon lang?

Tadhana'y nananadya ba?

Ako'y tila isinumpa.

Love,

Me

To him/her/them who know nothing but to trash others spirits by finding other people, places and events as your scapegoats...

...you know who you are.

Blame it on the Coffee

-=icewulf=-

Faith wavering.

Self-esteem sinking.

What’s happening to me?

Blame it on the coffee.

Unable to sleep,

Chest aches as I weep.

Is this how it should be?

Blame it on the coffee.

Charging fury.

Violence in a hurry.

Damn insanity.

Blame it on the coffee.

Killer instincts,

Diabolic edicts.

Leave me be.

Blame it on the coffee.

Yesterday wasted,

Memoirs blasted.

I want to be free.

Blame it on the coffee.

Overworked.

Way past the limit.

Aiming for a fantasy.

Blame it on the coffee.

Unintelligible poem.

Words indigestible.

Rambling continuously.

Blame it on the coffee.

You know who you are... :heart:

By My Side

lyrics by: -=icewulf=-

music by: tba

I

There were days when I wished on every falling star.

Wishing you would be mine.

There were nights when I prayed to the angels above.

Hoping they’d give you a sign.

But now here you stand by my side.

CHORUS

You were once just a fantasy.

I never dreamed you’d become a reality.

I can’t imagine how God must have loved me.

That He gave me the masterpiece He’s crafted perfectly.

II

All this time I thought I’d just meet you in my dreams.

Even if just for a while.

All along just hoping you’d notice me just once.

And give me a smile.

But now here you stand by my side.

(REPEAT CHORUS)

BRIDGE

Forever will come and there are things

We won’t always comprehend.

But as long as you say you’ll be mine.

Our love will last as long as forever goes.

But now here you stand by my side.

(CHORUS)

Just stay and always be mine.

Till forever runs out of time.

No matter if the road gets narrow or wide.

As long as you are by my side

Through trials and tribulation.

We will face oblivion.

As long as you are by my side.

I'm posting this here as a reminder to myself, and hopefully to spark something in others minds..and hearts...

Lecheng Pagmamahal To

by: -=icewulf=-

Kung anu-ano nanaman tumatakbo sa isipan mo, daming butil ng alaalang gustong isipin at naiisip, eto ka nanaman. Pero tipong mas gusto mo yatang malaman ng lahat ang kabuangan mong nararamdaman, naiisip. Hehehe, la lang, trip. Feel. Papansin ba! Malay mo may makapansin nga at makiramay diba? Tamo nga naman ang pride mo, jologz ka ever… ayaw na matatawag na baduy o korni kaya dadaanin sa papansin epek. Kunwari aayaw ng tulong pero sa loob naman eh…naghuhumiyaw.

Pagdating naman sa problema ng iba at ikaw ang tinakbuhan cool ka lang. "Susme yun lang? Tingnan mo nga ako, mas malala pa jan pinagdaanan ko nakayanan ko! Kaya mo yan." Aba at astigin pa ang dating! Sabay sagot nila, "Ows? Buti ka pa nakayanan mo. Buti ka pa ayos ang love-life (o walang love-life.) Buti ka pa nakakayanan mo." Sabay sagot mo ulit, "Eh ikaw kasi shado ka nagpapa-apekto jan, tanga mo talaga." At salamat sayo lalong sumama ang loob ng humihingi ng advise sayo.

Pagnakapagmuni-muni ka na maiisip mo, "Lintek, mas malaki pala problema ko, di ko pa rin pala kaya…" May mga gumugulo na rin ngayon sa iyong isipan.

Paano ba naman dami mong mahal sa buhay nadagdagan pa ng sang katerbang mga crush. Nanjan GF mo, yung bestfriend mo, ilan sa barkada mo, ilan sa mga dating classmates mo, siguro yung isang officemate mo, mga barkada ng barkada mo, yung artista sa bagong soap opera, yung leading lady sa bagong anime. Binilang mo, kulan pa ang mga daliri sa kamay at paa mo. Binawasan mo, binilang mo lang yung mga importante talaga sayo, kulang pa rin ang daliri mo… hay buhay. Di ka pa nga lumalampas ng 25 anyos daming tao na inaalala mo. Pero kung tutuusin di ka naman nila kinikibo o ginugulo, e di ayos lang!

Ngunit sa lahat ng iyon may isa o dalawa o ilan pa rin na laging nanjan. Di pwedeng di mo iisipin, di pwedeng di mo aalalahanin, sasaktan ka, kahit anong gawin mo at kahit wala kang gawin guguluhin ka pa rin. Sinubukan mo nang lumayo ngunit kahit pa anung gawin mo naaalala mo. Binura mo na sa cellphone mo ang numero pero naka save naman sa ressbook mo sa computer, dinelete mo na sa pc mo pero andun pa rin sa organizer mo. Deleted na rin sa organizer. Ayan maaayos na siguro ang lahat. Hinde. Lalo lang lumala, p#tang %na saulo mo ang numero! Tanga mo grabe. Ipapaalala pa sayo ng kaibigan mong iba oi nakita ko sha/sila sa tambayan nyo kanina... Kulang nalang at tadtarin mo ng pino ang nagsalita. hihinga ka ng malallim, sabay harap sa usbaw na nagbanggit sa kaniya/kanila, complete with emote ka pang sasabihin "SO? PAKI KO?!"

At dahil doon ay magtatanong siya ng isang tanong na matagal mo nang gustong sagutin sa harap ng madlang bayan. "Pare, galit ka ba sa kaniya/kanila? Ayaw mo na ba sa kaniya/kanila?" Eto ang pinakahihintay mong sandali ang masagot sa harap ng buong bayan ang tanong na ito…ngunit… bakit di mo masagot? Tahimik lahat, naghihintay ng sagot mo… di mo kayang sagutin… lulusot ka na lang sa pagsagot mo ng "Hay naku, ewan ko ba sa inyo." O diba lusot ka? Di ka nag-deny, di ka rin nag-affirm. Di ka talaga maintindihan. Daig mo pa ang baklush.

Magsisimula sila mangantsaw dahil sa sagot mo… "Uuuuuy! Ehem, ehem." Lalo kang naiirita. Sabay sabi ng "Huh? Di ko kayo magets?" Ungas! Pa-innocent epek ka pa!

Lilipas yung insidente at ok ka na ulit. Di magtatagal di maiiwasan na di mo siya/sila makita. Sabay ngiti ng kaibigan mo at tatanungin ka "Pare, sino yun/sila?" Sabay ngisi na daig pa ang Chershire Cat sa Alice in Wonderland. At madalas laging magpaparinig pa. Dadaanin sa isang kanta na ang lyrics eh tatamaan ka. "Mga kumag na ‘to walang magawa sa buhay." Yun na lang ang maiisip mo. Sabay hirit ulit ng "Huh? Preng, di ko talaga kayo magets."

Umiwas ka na sa lahat…ayaw mo ng sakit ng ulo. Wala ka nang pinili lahat iniwan mo, mas magaling pa ang mag-isa, sabi mo. Ngunit sa iyong pagiisa dun ka inaatake ng lungkot, ng mga alaala, ng pagkadismaya mo sa kaniya/kanila. Wala na bang matataguan? Wala na bang mapaglilibangan upang makalimutan siya/sila?!?

Ngayon gusto mo na lang mawala, para kang isang timang na nagnanais na maglahong parang bula, kainin ng pating, kainin ng lupa kapag lumindol, pumasok sa Time Space Warp ng mga kalaban ni Shaider.

Bwisit talaga ang mga emosyon na yan. Ginagawa kang timang. Di ka rin nakatiis lumabas ka sa pagkakatago ko sa pagsasarili mo. At ang sumalubong sayo ay isang tanong "Tsong, bakit ganun mo na lang kamahal siya/sila?" Anak ng tokwa wala ka nanaman maisagot. "Huh? Di ko talaga kayo magets?!" Gasgas na ang palusot mo.

Pero teka, teka, teka. Bakit nga ba? Bakit ba ganun mo na lang kamahal yung tao/mga taong yun? Natahimik ka bigla ano?

Di nagtagal ayos na, nakalimutan mo na. Ngunit bakit tuwing makikita mo, tuwing maririnig mo, tuwing mababanggit sayo eh kulang na lang eh manigas ka sa kinatatayuan mo? Bakit gustong gusto mo pa rin na makita at maramdaman nya/nila ang nararamdaman mo kahit di nila maintindihan? Tungak! Kunwari ka pang nagpapakamanhid! Minsan natanong ka nanaman ng isa mong kaibigan, "Kala ko ba tapos na yun?" Panic mode ka kaagad, ano gagawin mo? Tatawa ng malakas? Ngingiti na parang ngiting aso? Tatalikod? Magwawala? Kunwari wala kang narinig? Pre kahit naman ano gawin mo halata na naluluha ang mata mo.

Gusto mo nanaman maglaho. Kung pwede ka lang sana ma-Control-Alt-Delete, o kaya Alt+F4. Kung pwede lang sana. Pero hindi eh… langya.

torid kiss then a bjob!!!! save the best for last

bj then pipe cleaning or pipecleaning then bj?

Rampant Growth - Fertilizer

garland, texas

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1:37pm PST

Do It To Me One More Time

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madapaka...este madapa sa putik

broken arm or broken leg?

Biel, Jessica

Yorkshire

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Estonia

John Jacob