Crassus

Kanina gagala ako, my nag alok ng sex with a hot model daw. Ang kapalit lang daw non mag advertise ako ng isang bathroom cleaner dito sa Facebook.. shempre di ako pumayag. Mataas moral ko! Ano ako uto-uto? Sex lang yan malakas ang control ko! Kasing lakas ng DOMEX, the incredibly strong bathroom cleaner na talagang nakakalinis at nakakapatay ng germs at available pa yan in Lemon scent in 9.50 pesos nalang 30% discount.

Hyberdating = (verb) when a person ignores their friends, in favor of their Boyfriend/Girlfriend.

If you plugged your nose and your mouth while you sneezed, would it come out of your ears or would your head explode?

The only problem in this world is it lacks Rationality and Logic

Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control!

MASTURDATING - (noun) going out alone to a movie or restaurant.

REALTALK: Hindi lahat ng dadating sa buhay mo eh mananatili syo. Ang iba ay dadaan lang para mag-iwan ng aral. Aral na matututunan sa oras ng kanilang paglisan. At ang iba naman ay dumaan lang para kantutin ka. Lesson: natutunan mo parin ang ibang style....

You were looking good from afar.. now you're far from looking good.

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Sa amin sa Calaca, Batangas nabalitaang may aswang sa isang baryo. Dahil hindi alam ang gagawin ng iba, tumawag sila sa pulisya para ipadampot ang taong sinsabing aswang daw. Dahil medyo gumagabi pinayohan ng pulis na bukas na lang ng umaga nila pupuntahan. Ng dumating ang umuga tumungo ang pulis sa bahay ng kapitan para mag pasama at ng madampot na nga ang taong aswang. Sumama si kapitan at ilang kalalakihan patungo sa bahay ng aswang. Binati sila ng matandang babae na nasa bahay at tinatano...

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The funniest thing about this message is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything you its too late for you to stop reading it you dumb f#&k

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 6663629."

Every time I click a Link, the page gave me this look. 500 = internal server error.. Why oh why. ....

4:20

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Its good to be friends with PSPs, because they are more the Real People I know than the Regular ones. And, Hindi naman ako GM. haha

Music Mode: SounDragon, Blue21: Blue Magic (Running Mix)

Business mode : ON

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

A paper should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.

Love your enemies.. it pisses them off.

CELLFISH - (noun) an individual who continues talking on their phone so as to be rude or inconsiderate of other people.