lordraven

About me:

Lovely to look at, lovely to hold, but if you break me, consider yourself sold. Call me whatever you want. I am an annoying, obnoxious, arrogant, retarded, rude, brutal, vindictive, spastic, chain-smoking, daydreamer. A person with a nonsensical life story worthy of Oprah and an individual whose only goal in life is to make sense of Grimace's existence. I am french. No, wait, I'm swedish. I am a rock. A very big rock. The kind you throw to hit something you've hated for a very long time. I am the annoying sound you hear when nothing is making any sense. I am the epitome of flaw so ugly, I became PERFECT.

Ask and you shall not receive, preach and I will argue, touch me and you will never walk again. Take only what is given and and I promise you this; you will be loved beyond your ability to comprehend.

Who I Want to Meet:

Someone who is not (a/an):

1. Anteater

2. Mariah Carey

3. Blissfully and/or conveniently inept

4. Blissfully and/or conveniently retarded

5. S.I.C.K (Sweet, Innocent, Cute, Kikay)

6. Idiot

7. Self Righteous (as a result of religion/gender preference/ affiliations and/or non-affiliations/ambitions/folly)

8. Ethereal

9. Owner of a beauty parlor (NO! You are NOT an entrepreneur)

10. Future owner of a beauty parlor

B. Someone who I cannot:

1. Injure (Physically or emotionally)

2. k*ll (Accidentally or intentionally)

3. Eat alive

4. Abuse

5. Molest

6. Strangle

7. Coerce to commit suicide

8. Bleed to death

9. Leave eventually

10. Obliterate

C. Someone who will not turn into a/an/the:

1. Werewolf

3. Anti-Christ

4. Karmic force

6. Astrologist

7. Starstruck Contestant