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The Mail Box


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  • 2 weeks later...

C, i need someone to replace you... who won't judge me.. .have fun together with no strings attached ... who listens to my rants and in turn listens to your drama in life... to laugh at each others corny jokes... to give courage to one another i facing challenges... i am missing you badly... take care and ingat lagi...have a good life where you are.. don't hesitate to call me if you need a sympathetic friend... B

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Sun shine,

 

I still think about that night. That night when we played dumb and silly. I was 18 years young.

And I was the rain you've never known before. You never liked me. You were just curious why most of your friends are fond of me.

Some sort of latent fascination about the words I can say, and even more, the words at the back of the notebook you check on weekly.

We were inappropriate. But still, we were convinced it doesn't matter to a point that we let that night happen.

 

And then the dates whenever a storm cancels class. We shopped for books, some more cheap stuff, and sanitary napkins.

Then you made me listen to The Corrs. And I hated it. And you loved it. Then I loved it.

 

But I lacked a dream. You have plenty. I live the day for what it can dish out. You have plans. And out of respect, I walked away.

I cannot allow myself to slow you down. I cannot allow myself to hold you back. And there you go saying I'll amount to something someday.

 

Funny how that won't sink into me until now. It has been a while now, but I still don't have that dream you say I need.

Sure, I can buy things. Quite a number of things. But this is not a dream. It's but a chemical reaction. Useless. To me. And that you can attest.

I guess you really don't get what you want in this life. And those that you don't desire over, you get a constant supply of.

 

You dreamt for me once. You dreamt that I would have me my own dream. And now... I don't think that is possible too.

Because as it seems... the only dream I could ever have... is you.

 

PS: the walls are thin, I'm keeping my voice low. I must let this go.

 

Adam

Edited by ADAM
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  • 2 weeks later...

Dy,

 

I thank the Almighty for having you come into my life. It's been more than 3 years since we first met, in unfavorable circumstances. We were both lost, and found our way to each other.

 

I came into this relationship already broken, not being able to trust, and paranoid, and it's ironic that I'm expressing my feelings for you in a place that has contributed to my brokenness. I find comfort, however, in the fact that your trust in me is untarnished, and unwavering. I only wish I could do the same for you, simply because I still have trouble understanding that there are still, good, faithful, and loyal men in the world.

 

As I continue with the healing process, I want you to know that I am praying to God to extend your patience and love for someone like me. I also pray to him that I may learn how to love myself purely and in His ways. I pray that together, we overcome these trying times, and that we may fulfill our duties to our families and to each other. I pray for peace of mind and everyday kindness.

 

I pray so hard, every single day.

 

My

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I am in probably the most unbearable agony of my life. And that is because of this thick wall separating u now from me. God knows how much I regret all that I had done. And if I could turn back the time, I really would. I hope you will begin to realize that as long as you love me, rage will never leave you. It stays there till you start to forgive me.I am really sorry I can't stay with you because everyday, I am hurting. Everyday, I am dying. Everyday I am losing myself.

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