The Mail Box

[praetorian]

GT,

 

kaya natin to.

 

ME

[LostCommand]

Perhaps it is time for me to release that remaining boat.

 

Long years ago, on this day, my cousins’ birthday, we had so nearly gotten together. Had we married we would have been the dream team made unstoppable, I with the Leftists, you with the Rightists, I with Operations, you with Finance, and none to counter this combined us.

 

But it was not to be.

 

You later said in your notes that you would want to give me the chance at a happy marriage, and that I should therefore move on. Perhaps I would agree.

 

But I would have you know that it will be to some extent social responsibilities that will drive me to accept a match now, if ever I do. As the last of my line, and all that means. I have accepted long ago that if not with you, then I would marry for duty as much as I would for companionship, and would carry all the responsibilities of such a practical relationship with a realistic, hardy soul. But marry for heart, for love? You I loved the hardest and longest has left me. My years and decades may bring with them some wisdom, but no answer to heartbreak.

 

You also wrote in your later notes about children. How I had so secretly wished we were given ours, in the time we were together. For age is also catching up with me, and I do feel the ticking clock, though I kept that worry a secret from you too. I would treasure kids. If I am ever denied children, it will take me until the afterlife to understand why that was so.

 

Yet even in that next life, still I will not be with them. And such eternal loneliness would be truly complete.

 

The material challenges of providing well and equally for all of my children, whether with some politically/practically matched wife-to-be or with one I truly love, or both, would be a challenge, though not at all insurmountable. But I agree with you that if my fatherhood experiences are limited to regularly dropping off loads of money into a bank account, then that would be grossly unfair to myself and my daughter. My daughter is not my daughter unless I have had a hand in raising her, and I do not mean only the baby care, but also (especially) the school age when she asks the questions, and then I would teach her to ask the right questions, and when she finds answers, and then I would guide her to define the right answers. You are also correct that privacy will be difficult for me, especially since I will be living a public life eventually. Though it will not be impossible - if and when I should acquire ever more authority, secrecy will be one of them.

 

What mortal power harbors no secrets anyway? You and I know many secrets behind the thrones.

 

However, time is passing fast for me, and therefore, I must come to grips with the reality that left to my own devices, there are ever diminishing chances of laying the groundwork of career and still leave enough years for a tall, fair, bright-eyed brown-haired red-lipped big-nosed daughter who would have enough natural gifts that would have her shape society long before society would have a chance to shape her.

 

So, I must go ahead and release this last boat. Soon, I will await a cold clear winter night exactly like this very evening, when the winds blow strong and frigid and the moon round and perfect and silver. And I will write you that, at last, I have scribbled down my dreams, her name, our plans, and what might have been, and folded the parchment into a small boat. And will wander down that magical silver river nearby, right before where she thunders over that creaky ancient dam, and put the boat in her cold blue waters, to drift away to some unknown sea, gone for all time from me.

 

Perhaps, like that beautiful full moon tonight, neither does my daughter belong to this world.

 

LC

Edited November 5, 2012 by LostCommand

[ReDBaByBuRn]

joel enrique...

 

nakakainis ka...

baket ba imbes na magmuka ka ng tatay...

lalo kang nagiging yummy...

kung alam mo lang...

sobrang crush na kita since bata pa lang...

and hanggang ngayon ba...

jusme kuya...

wag kang mashadong maging tukso...

 

 

me

Edited November 5, 2012 by ReDBaByBuRn

[Intuition]

dear empty void,

 

i am writing to you now because i really have no one to talk to ... i am just wondering, do we deserve to have our hearts broken just because we are not as thin and attractive as we should be?

 

a lot of things flashback in my mind ... you know, like i met P, and we were so good together... we did everything together, we had private jokes, my family loved her, it was with P that i felt like what it was to have someone you can share your life with, and your family accepting it at the same time. Sadly, P and i wasnt meant to be ... since P only saw me as a friend. oh i remember how my heart broke that day, when she told me with tears in her eyes that she couldnt really do anything, and that i was just a friend.

 

i also remember E... oh, me and E had such great times together... we did everything a bf-gf does, especially the things in bed... and it was with her that i experienced waking up to someone you love for the first time. i bought her breakfast, and served it on a tray while she was still sleeping in our bed. oh how beautiful that morning was ... but E had a bf, and she couldnt be with me because i was chinese. she hated chinese guys...

 

so now i met K ... she really is a great gal ... we have yet to meet in flesh, since we are one of those "online relationships." and i dont understand why she can leave me hanging for the whole day without a text of any sort. i mean, when your long distance bf goes all the way to see you, i dont think youd be as busy as not being able to text "i am busy" ... there is no job in the world that can stop you if you really want to talk to the person. at least that is how i see it. that is not how she sees it... and i feel like im just a fallback, or something for her to spend her free time on.

 

this letter really makes no sense, but just know that i am very sad right now... and i am just really frustrated because i am alone now, and i am not gifted enough to even turn my sadness into art.

 

she texted me "you are like a nagging wife" ... do you blame me? i came all the way from point A, rode an airplane to go to point B, to see her... i expected a "come to the office, i will see you for 5 seconds but i have to work" ... or a "im busy, but i will see you no matter what happens." instead i got silence and vague texts like "im in a meeting" ... what kind of meeting starts at 3pm and ends at 12md, where you have no 5 minutes break in between?

 

i am not very coherent right now... dear void ... nothing. i do not know what to say and what to feel at this point. i will probably take an airplane back home tomorrow.

 

 

-intuition

[Intuition]

dear me,

 

be strong. just let it go. go home now. this is not working for you. do not give your heart too fast just because you have been lonely for a really long time. you can do it. buy that plane ticket and go home.

 

-me

[Queen Darkeinjel]

You,

 

 

I find you funny. Sabi nga nila, buti na lang maganda ka.

 

checklist:

 

-subject-verb agreement

-verb tenses

-continuity

 

Ay sus! Kung lahat ng students ko eh tulad mo...

 

 

...buti na lang mahaba pasensiya ko.

 

 

Me

Edited November 6, 2012 by darkeinjel

[Lexiiiii]

Dito na lang kita susulatan,

 

 

So sino ngayon ang hindi mapagpatol? And I thought you weren't going to defend yourself? What was that novel all about?

 

If I were as bad as you think I am, edi sana noon palang inaway na kita after what I found out. Ipinahiya na sana kita with all the PM's that you sent me. And the world will know what kind of a person you are.

 

Nanahimik ako after all the bad things I heard that you said about me. NANAHIMIK AKO.

And until now hindi kita susumbatan tungkol dun. But next time, don't make other people look stupid just to cover up your mistakes. Hindi pogi points yun!

 

You're the male version of CLINGY and NAGGER and POSSESSIVE!

 

 

ANNE

Edited November 6, 2012 by babyanne

[ADAM]

You want it back so bad--- the black blood on your paper skin; the old pulse...

but until your longing has a name, my friend. Until your longing has a name..

[LostCommand]

Obama it is. The Americans have chosen thir man for a position most powerful. To tame that even more powerful Goliath of economic and political storms now gathering, about to run amuck, unleashed.

 

Ours not to reason why.

 

Ours to trim our sails accordingly.

 

Bitching is for losers.

 

LC

[Leyna]

Mr. E,

Sometimes you're cute when you're mad, just like today.

But I'm sorry I pissed you off.

I might do it again.

 

little miss pain in the a.s.s

 

 

 

 

 

[RED2018]

If I were an ant, pupunta ako sa arms mo, kakagatin kita as hard as I could. Siyempre, papatayin mo ko. Then, as my poor soul rises to heaven,

I'll whisper in your ears: "I just died in your arms"

[ADAM]

Because the truth is, I need you just like the air I breathe

Just like a freight train needs the tracks beneath

I'd rather suffer my whole life and be the rich man's wife

If loving you means suffering

[Queen Darkeinjel]

you believe too much in your own "greatness" and press.

 

narcissistic much?

[praetorian]

Sorry bt, talo talaga kayo samin eh. Better luck next time. May isa pa naman bukas, malay nyo makabawi kayo dba.

 

GT

[LostCommand]

(1/4)

 

Tatang Tinio,

 

In my ears I hear again the grind and clash of heavy gears from under floor, the chest reverberating thunder of pounding heavy truck pistons from under hood, the pitched-blade, military-grade KKK turbo wailing, hair-raising, clean through the muffling mountain fog, the mixed scents of fragrant fresh-lit cigarettes and cold day-old bread, you and me taking turns at the big-rig's wheel, young boss and old assistant equally, hundreds of kilometers blasting heedless by, Nikon F3 and .45 ball clattering together in our common truck locker...

 

The wind and dreams told me that not all is well with you, 'Tang Tinio. The email yesterday merely confirmed thus. The years flew, and so very fast.

 

More than two decades ago, you attended at my initial forgings, when the primal metal was first extracted from the raw ore, heated angry red then intensely forged in the anvils of the family business deep in the northern mountains. School summer vacation after summer vacation, year after teenage year, 700 dusty kilometers to the nearest family relation, and during those pre-cellphone days at that; no mama, no papa, no Uncle Sam, the creaking cracks were beaten flush, until eventually the hard hammers rang out that distinctive crystal twang of finished forgings.

 

You were also there, 'Tang Tinio, a few summers later, when the government was there too and sought to control this landlord in residence somehow thriving in a Red area. We could not k*ll them that time, 'Tang Tinio, our gang was so few, and so we waited until the soldiers left, and then beat to disfigurement the unarmed follow-up "hearts and minds" government aid workers instead, men and women alike. Then we distributed their goods in the Red's name to deflect the blame.

 

And so I realised that very moment that the government cannot be armed AND everywhere at once, but keeps trying

to, thus spreading itself very thin. And therein lies one of their most exploitable of weak points.

 

And therein we visited death, death upon our enemies...