The Mail Box

[Danielle]

Bong,

 

What comforting words can I say to someone who is slowly fading right infront of me? What kind of encouragement can I extend to someone who has suffered for almost 10 years now? Months ago, we both laughed when we jokingly talked about how all of this would end, and when. "Ang tagal naman akong kunin ni Lord. Nakakainip na. Nagsasawa na silang bantayan ako." I laughed at your remark because I didn't know how to react. Pity is the least that you needed, and the talk of death was spoken matter of factly.. Your laughter was so crisp. You looked so healthy. Who would have thought that it took all your strength to go through chemo therapy, radiation sessions, and blood transfusion over and over again...

 

Then one day I received a call that you were gasping for air and was immediately rushed to the ER. The sight of a tube attached to your throat made me still. The number of nerve openings in your left hand, used to accommodate the big needles for your dialysis, made me numb. And in the middle of all the heavy doses of drugs given to you, you managed to crack a joke..."Ano ba, mukha kang namatayan diyan. Buhay pa ako noh."

 

You made me promise NEVER to cry when this time comes...but how can I not? We prayed together, begged, surrendered, but I'm sorry Bong, I cannot journey with you in this last phase...letting go... because it will take you a few seconds to finally let go of your last breath, but it will take me years to let go of you..

 

When the time comes, I will be consoled by the thought that you are finally free from all the pains those numerous cancer has beset you. Until then, my days will be spent thinking of ways to hide the tears and pain so you'd see no trace of it... Such a tall order, dear Bong... Such a tall order, my friend...

 

"The Lord gave me this role of dying ahead because He knows that I cannot bear watching a love one slowly fading.. I am full of pain, yet, I am more blessed..."

 

I couldn't agree more...

 

Danielle

 

 

 

P.S.

 

You will definitely be disappointed, but please tell St. Iggy that I refuse to cooperate. I'm sorry...

[Guest Riveria]

J,

 

Did it surprise you that I am not who you thought I was? Did it surprise you to find that I don't exactly stand for what you thought I stood for all along? Did it surprise you to find that I'm not exactly how I played myself out to be? That the person you thought I was is actually nothing to what I am.

 

E

[lemon]

thanks for the company. good night and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

exactly two years ago today, i got a warm, seemingly innocent reply to that. the first of many thrown back at me since... warm and seemingly innocent as they have always been. of course, "warm" and "seemingly innocent" have evolved to connote totally deeper, even different meanings or perhaps the meaning has remained, it's just that i have come to know the sparkle in the eyes, the hint of mischief in the wide smile, the comic faces... even the occasional ambivalence that lurked behind those conceded compromises made when those exact same reply were uttered. now, i can actually close my eyes and vividly see the many varied ways i have heard it since and i think of no better way to answer it now but in an equally warm and seemingly innocent way of saying...

 

thanks for the company. good night and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

 

 

:*

[LadyLazarus]

My dear Rockstar,

 

I don't mind taking the backseat to your dream, your goal. But I will never tell you that I'm starting to want to be part of that dream.

 

 

Your Closet Groupie

[ButtChicKick]

C,

 

This is really starting to be the season of endings and goodbyes, I know. A great relationship can be undone by a shitty ending while a shitty relationship can be rescued by a happy ending. In your case, both are shitties, so no reason for regrets.

 

Yes, I also wonder about the coincidence with the celebration (or commemoration is more apt) this week, but as you said, araw nating mga duguan at sugatan. Let this be our share in keeping up with the catholic tradition.

 

Me and the gehls will always be here for you. Good thing you're keeping the car we need that. Lab yah!

 

 

C

[damian50]

kumags,

 

di epektib ang style nyo.

lalo lang siya naaasar sa inyo.

 

d

[mohao]

M,

 

Thanks for making me feel so special.

 

Hope to see you again soooooon

 

C

[Danielle]

M,

 

We needed the closure to fill in the gaps. We needed to verbalize the sincere apologies for the damage we caused. We finally gave each other the "healing" we longed for.

 

Thank you so much...

 

But, there's been a lot of changes since then. We thought we haven't, but we realized we did move on.

 

Thank you for trying, I appreciate it. But there's just no second round this time. Let's not force to stand when we're already happy sitting down, although in different corners this time.

 

Let me say again what I said that day... I REMAIN TO BE A FRIEND.

 

I hope things will be better in your province.

 

D

 

P.S.

 

Pasensya na last time. Dami nyo kasing M sa mundo.

[shrapnelix]

kat

 

 

this will be my last post.

 

 

i had enough of this

 

 

jake

[MikeyArrovo]

Sige lang lumandi ka. Hindi ko buhay yan. Pinayuhan kita, umasa ako na makikinig ka pero, tigas talaga ulo mo eh. Good luck. Hindi ko buhay yan. Paki ko sayo.

[Guest biancaanne]

Waiting for 3 freakin' hours at the bus station would not have been a breeze hadn't you been "keeping me company". I really do appreciate you making sure I got on a bus first before you fell asleep.

 

That discussion on korean frogs during rainy season though, almost made me burst out in laughter inside the bus. WAK!WAK!WAK! GEGOL!GEGOL!GEGOL!

 

Penge pakbet

 

AAA

[Guest Riveria]

Hey Friend...this is old but the meaning tells it all...

 

If you love something, set it free if it comes back, it was meant to be. If it continues to fly, let it soar, have faith that God has something better in store.

 

Your BF

[MikeyArrovo]

Bro,

 

Minsan sa inuman sarap mo sapakin. Kung humirit ka para kang inapi. Rereklamo ka na maliit lang ang sahod mo. Rereklamo ka na lagi kang ginigyera ng asawa mo. Sino ba ang may kasalanan? Dapat hindi ka nga magreklamo.Maliit lang ang sahod mo kasi mabisyo ka. Tulad ngaun kakasahod mo lang inom to the max ka. Ginigyera ka ng asawa mo kasi dami mong kabit. Para kangsi Bolkiah, ok lang kung mayaman ka at sultan ka ng brunie, eh isa ka lang site engineer. Langya hindi porket Engineer ka may karapatan ka ng magluho ng ganyan. Walang may kasalan sa mga rants mo Bro.

 

 

AKA

Demonyo

[ReverseFlash]

Miming..

 

 

we both knew we haven't got any proper closure. when i left, it's a must. but then again, my indecisiveness is coercing me again.. a lot has changed. I hope you understand. I will not be meeting you this 8th..

 

Pup

[Guest Riveria]

Pssstttt...

 

Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you're going to miss in the years ahead.

 

Me