The Mail Box

[sweetpsyche]

a poem i got somewhere and i wish to share it to you guys...

 

A time will come when my life will cease.

But when that time comes I ask that you remember these things…

…Bury my body but don't bury my beliefs.

…Bury my heart but don't bury my love.

…Bury my eyes but not my vision.

…Bury my feet but not the path of my life.

…Bury my hands but don't bury my diligent efforts.

…Bury my shoulders but not the concerns I carried.

…Bury my voice but not my message.

…Bury my mind but don't bury my dreams.

…Bury me but don't bury my life.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults and my weaknesses'

but let my life continue on in you.

 

- by Ronald Rohr

[jt2003]

With apologies.

 

You'll never read this. But may I go through a million hells, me alone, before you have even just a distant glimpse of one.

[Domeng Su-gat]

alex!! share namn sino?? :boo:

hihihi....

mmmm teka.. mailbox to eh hindi chizmiz thread hehe..

sa TA na lang... haha.. peace domeng!!

 

*runs towards alex*

i neither confirm nor deny

nuninuninuni

[sweetpsyche]

alex!! share namn sino?? :boo:

hihihi....

mmmm teka.. mailbox to eh hindi chizmiz thread hehe..

sa TA na lang... haha.. peace domeng!!

 

*runs towards alex*

i neither confirm nor deny

nuninuninuni

well u dont have to...

i know..

i can see the answer in ur eyes...

 

errr i mean,... Gary V's eyes haha

[Domeng Su-gat]

alex!! share namn sino?? :boo:

hihihi....

mmmm teka.. mailbox to eh hindi chizmiz thread hehe..

sa TA na lang... haha.. peace domeng!!

 

*runs towards alex*

i neither confirm nor deny

nuninuninuni

well u dont have to...

i know..

i can see the answer in ur eyes...

 

errr i mean,... Gary V's eyes haha

lupet mo dear!

[sweetpsyche]

lupet mo dear!

hahaha

 

*toink DOM*

 

mmmmmm mukhang off topic na tayo ah.. sige balik natin..

 

Dear Domeng,

 

thanks for the trust hehe

u have my word

take care..

 

sweetp

[Domeng Su-gat]

hahaha

 

*toink DOM*

 

mmmmmm mukhang off topic na tayo ah.. sige balik natin..

 

Dear Domeng,

 

thanks for the trust hehe

u have my word

take care..

 

sweetp

sa sinabi mong yan..tyak ko maraming maiintriga

ako nga naiintriga na e

[lord_rochester]

for everybody who has reacted to my posts,

 

 

i deeply appreciate you guys. things will be fine... these are just problems that should be logically solved. i have decided to see this in a logical way.. the way i am used to...

 

to fhm,

 

if you are a variable you are equal to zero because you are a nobody. you are nothing. therefore if you are nothing then you are equal to zero and can be deleted.

 

no matter how many times you appear in the different equations of my life... you can always be deleted.

[vicaner]

lady psyche havent been able to post that "letter" yet as I am still to get it, hopefully by next year i'll get the chance to do so, that is if I still have the guts to post it here. Found this article from the PDI youngblood section w/c i'll post. feel free to delete it if it has already been previously posted (didnt get the chance to check out all the previous ones eh). more power to all of us who are moved by the written word.

 

He's Getting Married

 

TODAY, I will attend an execution: my own. I will watch it with both eyes

open and I will not cry. I will not break down just because the man I have

loved since forever will marry someone else. I will watch him promise

himself to a woman who will never love him like I have. I will watch them

bind themselves to a vow I should have taken.

 

I have loved Oliver almost all my life. I have known him since I saved his

six-year-old hide from a bully named Ricardo who wanted to rid him of his

two yellowed front teeth. I was five at the time, but having grown with

five

older brothers and a hellion of a sister, ''Totoy Cardo'' was a piece of

cake.

 

Oliver was so overcome with embarrassment at having a girl to protect his

scrawny neck that from that time on he made it a point to be the rescuer,

not the rescued. As time passed, muscles filled out this lanky frame and

those two front teeth began to sparkle. He combs his hair, and he takes a

bath daily now. In short, he has become a fine specimen of manhood.

 

The best part is, he lived up to his promise: he became my self-appointed

guardian (well, I don't know if that's the best or the worst part). He was

just always there, sticking to me like glue. It used to drive me nuts that

he never let me out of his sight.

 

When I was 12, I ran from the infirmary on my way home. I had found out in

the most humiliating way that I had become a woman: there was a big red

stain on the back portion of my skirt. The jeers and the taunts followed me

through the school corridors. Oliver dashed after me and offered to

accompany me home. I declined, of course. He seemed to understand my

discomfiture and promised to drop later with the things left in school.

When

I reached home I was told that I needed to jump three times on the stairs

(which I did) and to wash my face with my blood (which I didn't do). Oliver

dropped by in the afternoon, sporting a black eye and a bruise on his arm.

When I asked him what happened, he said he had walked into a closed door. I

believed him. But a few days later, minus the dysmennorhea, I found out

that

Oliver got into fisticuffs because some guy made a disgusting remark about

me.

 

Nobody had ever fought for me before that. And when you're 12 and

discussing

in class how King Arthur and fairest of them all, Lancelot, fought for

Guinevere's love, you tend to get ideas. I loved Oliver then.

 

When we were in high school and I found out that the school's heartthrob

and

one of my most ardent suitors, Richard, was involved with a bustier girl,

it

was to Oliver that I ran. When I didn't graduate as valedictorian and I got

so drunk,  it was Oliver who took me home. He didn't even mind that I

barfed

all over his dad's car (which he borrowed without permission).

 

When I decided to go to UP and he went to Ateneo, we celebrated by

partying.

When I lost my mom in a car accident, he took care of everything.

 

When my dad followed my mom less than a year later after a heart attack, he

was there again. By this time he was an appendage of my life. He used to

check out the guys I came to know. Nobody dared to get serious with me--not

when Oliver had a black belt.I didn't know how to define our relationship.

I

didn't know what we were. We definitely were more than friends, better even

than best friends. It was like we were a couple, but formally not one. We

did all the things that couple did like hang out and neck but always

stopped

when things got too hot. Since we never defined what we meant to each other

we never said ''I love you'' or whatever serious couple told each other.

 

As a result, I remained a chaste princess while my prince caroused and

sowed

wild oats, but still had the energy to monitor my movements. I didn't mind.

 

 

After all, I was so sure we'd end up together. I always thought that in the

end, it would be us. I loved him. I managed to convince myself that he

loved

me (what else could it be?). Little did I know that love doesn't conquer

all, it only conquers the weak.

 

I didn't think he'd be so stupid as to get a girl pregnant on the same

night

they met at a party. I didn't think he'd be so stupid as to forget to use

some form of contraception. After all, he had given me a lecture on safe

sex. And I didn't think he'd be so stupid as to marry the girl. But maybe I

forgot that after all he was a man, and men have been known to be stupid

about these things. Their brain is located in a region other than between

the ears.

 

What could I do? Kicking him in the groin and punching him in the eye

seemed

like a good idea then. Don't blame me; he was the one who enrolled me in a

self-defense course. But I did not feel better. Seeing him bent over in

pain

only made me angrier. I wasted my life for this lousy excuse of a man? I

could not believe it! I wanted nothing more than to run to him and beg him

to wake me up from the stupid dream. I wanted him to take me some place

where we didn't know anybody. No pain, no memory, no humiliation. I wanted

to just forget it ever happened but since I flunked in the School for

Martyrs, I couldn't, for the life of me pretend, it didn't happen. I

couldn't pretend he didn't hurt me.

 

I couldn't pretend everything was fine and dandy and exactly the way it was

before. We didn't talk for a month. For both of us who were practically

inseparable, that was like an eternity. I ducked into corners whenever I

would see him. I wouldn't take his calls. I wouldn't see him. And for some

time hate was my reason for getting up in the morning, for breathing, for

living.

 

Hate and I became good friends.

 

''God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them but to cleanse them,''

somebody once wrote. I didn't want to be cleansed. I just wanted to drown

in

pain and misery and utter desolation. I wanted to wallow in the dark and

deep pit of despair. I know a thousand and one cliches that say this can be

a blessing and that I should be thankful. But thankful is the last thing

I'm

feeling right now. I've always thought that there are three kinds of women:

those who break, those who mend and those who are broken themselves.

 

Before this hit me, I assumed that I belonged to the first or second

category. Now I know I'm in the third--so hurt and broken up inside. My

grandmother used to say that there is nothing you can do about pain when it

gives you a silly grin except grin right back. All I could manage was a wry

smile, a killer headache and the worst hangover the day before his wedding.

 

 

Evidence of that is the disgusting sight of mashed potatoes and barbecue,

thrown up not three meters away from where I was lying prostrate on the

floor and the awful stench of cigarette on my hair. Frankly I don't want to

go. I want to wallow in misery in my messy room, crying, retching and

stinking, surrounded with Michael Learns to Rock

(whose songs are dedicated to the broken-hearted) CDs. But I have to go and

attend the wedding. I have to bathe and prepare and put on that atrocious

peach (it's not even my color!) gown.

 

I'm not doing it for the groom, my one true friend and love, Oliver.

Neither

am I doing it for the bride, my younger sister, Sandra who needs me. I'm

doing it for my unborn niece who has the great fortune of having me as her

aunt. Call me stupid, but I've always known my place. If it isn't beside

the

man I was destined to marry, if it isn't behind my sister, who will take

his

name, wear his ring and bear him a child, then it must be with my niece,

cradled close to my heart so that she will know both of our love.

 

Regards, Hope

 

*Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to

Give..... Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how

to Treasure......*

[lord_rochester]

vicaner Posted on Nov 15 2003, 08:00 PM

  lady psyche havent been able to post that "letter" yet as I am still to get it, hopefully by next year i'll get the chance to do so, that is if I still have the guts to post it here. Found this article from the PDI youngblood section w/c i'll post. feel free to delete it if it has already been previously posted (didnt get the chance to check out all the previous ones eh). more power to all of us who are moved by the written word.

 

QUOTE 

He's Getting Married

 

TODAY, I will attend an execution: my own. I will watch it with both eyes

open and I will not cry. I will not break down just because the man I have

loved since forever will marry someone else. I will watch him promise

himself to a woman who will never love him like I have. I will watch them

bind themselves to a vow I should have taken.

 

 

 

 

Ouch..

 

you have deeper pains that i do... been through that situation though...

i didn't know him as long as you did.. but he did get married... just recently caught a glimpse of him and it still hurts..

[sweetpsyche]

lady psyche havent been able to post that "letter" yet as I am still to get it, hopefully by next year i'll get the chance to do so, that is if I still have the guts to post it here. Found this article from the PDI youngblood section w/c i'll post. feel free to delete it if it has already been previously posted (didnt get the chance to check out all the previous ones eh). more power to all of us who are moved by the written word.

Dear vicaner,

 

no problem po... i'll look forward to that hehe.. guts? mmmm i'll bet u have...

btw thanks for the post the story is indeed touching...

hope i wont be on that situation... i just hope...

 

sweetp

[vicaner]

Ouch..

 

you have deeper pains that i do... been through that situation though...

i didn't know him as long as you did.. but he did get married... just recently caught a glimpse of him and it still hurts..

uhmm..lady or lord_rochester? just to emphasize please so that peeps wont think i'm taking credit for this piece, this is from the youngblood section of PDI ( a very nice column! )

I feel your pain, some people just love too deeply and feelings resurface even years after. love really brings us to the heights of ecstasy and the very depths of despair.

 

lady psyche hi baby sis!

[forbidden]

Ouch! that must be extremely difficult to bear. But then again, how do you know that this person is the one and not another person? I've always wondered about that because I believe that you can put two people together and they can be "the one" for each other if they both make an effort and think that way. I don't know, what are your expereinces?

 

Hello to the sweetest p around - sweetp! I hope you are just chilling and kicking back today over there where you are

[sweetpsyche]

Ouch! that must be extremely difficult to bear. But then again, how do you know that this person is the one and not another person? I've always wondered about that because I believe that you can put two people together and they can be "the one" for each other if they both make an effort and think that way. I don't know, what are your expereinces?

 

Hello to the sweetest p around - sweetp! I hope you are just chilling and kicking back today over there where you are

hello forbidden,

 

what is difficult to bear? the story posted by vicaner?

mmmmm i've been asking that question as well since i've learned how and what it is to fall inlove... have asked lotsa people, read lots of books, but unluckily noone or nothing has given me a satisfying answer... i guess we will never know if, as what an old adage states.... unless we try.

thinking and making effort that they really are meant for each other? nnnahhhh i think thats not enough... coz sometimes, its hard to deny that there really are certain forces in nature that is beyond our control... forces that affect our relationships.

 

whatcha think? hehe...

 

sweetp

[sweetpsyche]

YOU!!! yes you!!!

 

hope u will explain to me what u mean on that letter...

it better be good..... if not.. i'll forever be disgust you! :grr:

and no i am not mad.. i am ANGRY!!!

that was way out of line...

no offense.. but the truth is.. bumaba tingin ko sayo.. esp kung totoo yun..

 

angryme.