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The Mail Box


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G.M.-

 

You can go on with your yakety-yak, I will not stop you. I have, however, ceased to listen since ten paragraphs ago... As I pick up words here and there, you aren't really saying anything new since the last time you tried to convince me that the way you'll do it is the way to do it. I won't. I refuse. I said it before, I'll say it again. Look for someone else who wishes to be confined in the cardboard box you so creatively improvised. The terrains are long, dear, and I have acres to traverse. I have no time for your mediocre plans.

 

I have made a decision and there is no convincing me otherwise. Even if you sh*t your intestines out.

 

- C.G.

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Buddha said, believe nothing merely because you have been told it. How true. For deception is a craft so easily mastered, by liars and cheaters, both. There are the corrupted geniuses who skillfully play with words and executions to form whole lies from half truths, and subtlety is their game plan. Commendable, these people are, for they not only have the ingenuity to spawn an illusion of truth, but they also have the audacity to betray.

 

Consider yourself warned. These are dangerous waters you are trying to navigate. Shark-infested, unguarded.

 

I do not wish to disillusion you, young and feeble as you are, but there are benefits to being told the real deal way ahead. What I do not want to do is to spare you the facts behind Pandora and her little chest of monsters. Yes, Virginia, there are many monsters of which betrayal is but one miniscule gargoyle.

 

Proceed with caution. And remember, in case of emergency, run to the nearest exit.

 

But welcome, the door is wide open and I wish you a grand time with us. Cheers!

 

- C

Edited by chiquezee
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truth is...i don't care....i simply don't care....and i'm so tired of talking...

and everything is just too disgusting ...to even remember. You may think that i need you...but i don't....i don't need anyone...

and i'm not hoping to be saved...it's just not going to happen. And please...just let me pour my guts out...here. It's all I have....but i don't need anyone's advice... and i don't need any fingers pointing at me.

just let me be....

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Dear Mama,

 

I owe you an apology. I know years have passed since our major argument and though we have disagreements every now and then, like two strong-willed women do, I have never really humbled myself enough to tell you how sorry I am for every disappointment and frustration, even bitterness, that I have caused you. Through the years, you endured my stubborness and insolence, which sometimes have no excuse whatsoever.

 

I always believed that the reason we tend to clash is because you see so much of yourself in me. Even my siblings wonder why we can't have a normal conversation without ending up speaking with a tone a notch higher than when we started. But now I see there is more to it than merely you repulsing your similar soul. You were worried I might not end up right and you were angry with yourself as to how I was turning out to be, right before your eyes. You were protecting me, but unfortunately, you didn't know how to do it with care, as most mothers do. Or maybe I didn't know how to accept genuine love when I see it.

 

In several days, fate will be ushering another milestone in my life. I try to imagine you at this point in your life. I can never compare. The sufferings, the sacrifices, the silent tears and painfully shattered dreams. You stood strong against all tribulations. You continue to stand strong til now, never wavering, never faltering. I cannot be half of your strength and courage.

 

How many nights have I caught you sobbing quietly, alone in your bed. How many mornings have I seen you staring into blank space over coffee. In silence, alone, you took everything without complaining. How many days did the sun see you go through without a wink, waiting, hoping, praying, constantly... The heartache must have been near-death. Yet you endured, mama. Like a woman of fortitude. Like a woman of great faith. In all these, I have never heard you complain, nor ask why, or why you. Through it all, you never stopped being a mother to us. Not a second.

 

Though I have always prided in becoming who I am through my own tenacity and perseverance, I do acknowledge your constant presence in my life. The reason I survived my own obstacles was because you inspired me to, despite the hostility and the build-up of resentment. And now, as I enter another phase in my life very soon, I carry your teachings with me.

 

I know that a mother will never disown a child who came from her own womb. But what can I do, mama, to make it up to you?

 

If only I can sit down with you over your marvelous dishes, and warm chocolate drink, just like when I was five, and tell you how I feel, what I think... But I am not strong even to do that, though you have attempted several times to reach out to me.

 

Mama, I wish to make you proud by not making a mistake again in my decisions. You have always known what was best for me, but the rebel child just won't listen, and went on to reshape my destiny, and made my journey more arduous, staying in the wilderness more than necessary.

 

Now I have several decisions to make and I am doing my best to be influenced by no one, as I usually prefer. But I am keeping you in my mind. You and papa, of course.

 

Ma, I wish to not make a mistake. The same way you want to believe you did not make a mistake in your life, and in our lives. Or that even if you did in some areas, that you did not make a mistake in your survival, in enduring, in correcting, in following through, to make up for the blunders.

 

I am on the fast lane right now, and I really need guidance and enlightenment at this point. I need your kind of fortitude. Your kind of faith. And if the only way I can repay you somehow is to strive to have that fortitude, and faith, I will. Through all the crossroads I am passing, I will not crumble.

 

I do love you, mama. And thank you for not giving up on me. One day, you'll see you did not make a mistake on me.

 

Sincerely,

me

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My dearly beloved,

 

Shall I continue on with what remains of my 100 years of solitude?

 

I tried to get you out of my mind for I know you will always be in my heart. Today, though, in the middle of a grueling mental activity, I felt the familiar pang of longing for you and so I let my mind wander to where you may be. That in trying to imagine what you may be doing, and how you may be, I may find comfort, even in my thoughts.

 

I admit that in some instances I let myself reflect if I may have caught a glimpse of you. Perhaps I was mistaken, for I am not certain if you are any where near. And my soul cries out...

 

I know with you I can be real, I can be true.

I long for that day when I can be me with you.

 

You have no idea how I ache. Sometimes I reason out to whoever is patiently listening with the moon, that I do not deserve the very long wait. But then, everything comes at its perfect timing. As you will. I know you will. When that happens, I will know. Maybe not instantly, but I will know, and I will be ready.

 

Fanciful romance inspires me not. They come, they go. Fleeting, most of them are, if not all.

And the words, though they sound beautiful, what are they? So many can deceive, so many can betray.

But what is deep, what is true, sweetheart, darling, perhaps I have not yet found you.

 

I took from some their piece of meat, but inside I hunger insatiably for the nearness of you. It will never be quenched, I will never be filled, until that day when you come and find me ready for you.

 

Many have come, passed by, and left. Some dared to linger, though only a few did stay. And right now, it has been made known, that there is no desire to stay longer where I belong. So, that can't be you, can it?... And though lonliness and sadness creeped in, I shall not hold on to what is not mine... Thus, I wait for you.

 

And when you find me, and you know it is me, you will not let me go. If you are certain, then do not let me go. It will be very hard to find me again, or to force me down my fortress.

 

Still, I don't want to search. One day, you'll just walk in, if you haven't yet, and I will know it is you, finally, for I will feel perpetual peace.

 

And when our eyes lock, and our hands hold, and when our bodies mesh, and our minds meld, it will be wonderfully perfect like the perfect I know.

 

 

 

While that hasn’t happened yet, I am here,

preparing myself to love you,

waiting...

 

Sincerely,

C.

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Still, for you...

Even just for this while that you are here.

 

 

You have touched me more profoundly than I thought even you could have touched me - my heart was full when you came (here today). Henceforward I am yours for everything.

 

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

(1806-1861)

 

 

 

yours,

me

(until such time when i have to cease to be)

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This about sez it all.

 

Blurry

Puddle of Mud

 

Everything’s so blurry

And everyone's so fake

And everybody’s empty

And everything is so messed up

Pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

 

You could be my someone

You could be my sea

You know that I’ll protect you

From all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing

Imagine where you are

There’s oceans in between us

But that’s not very far

 

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

 

Everyone is changing

There’s no one left that’s real

So make up your own ending

And let me know just how you feel

'Cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

 

You could be my someone

You could be my sea

You know that I will save you

From all of the unclean

I wonder what you're doing

I wonder where you are

There’s oceans in between us

But that’s not very far

 

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

 

Oh, Nobody told me what you thought

Nobody told me what to say

Everyone showed you where to turn

Told you where to run away

Nobody told you where to hide

Nobody told you what to say

Everyone showed you where to turn

Showed you where to run away

 

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

 

No, this pain you gave to me

Take it all away

Take it all away

Pain ya gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

 

 

 

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why oh why...why meeeeh? of all people....why meeeeh???

now look what you've done?

 

 

kakanta narin ako ng...

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

duet tayo sis? :cry:

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sweet dreams......are for those who only mean the most...

sweet dreams....so it's meant for the one afterall.......

then again.....some things don't mean the same for all...afterall...

sweetdreams...i love you...i'd be happy to die tonight...knowing...that...i love you.

 

so tomorrow...if you see me here again.....quiet ka na lang...tang ina! hiya narin ako!...obvious na...how masamang damo ako...syeyts......kakahiya! badtrip men....badtrriiip :P

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Fred,

 

Didn't realize that a pleasant surprise was in store for me when you called me into your office this past Thursday. Though I may not have agreed with some of your past decisions, I admire the very high degree of professionalism you displayed. I must say that you've been very good to me and that the company's been very good to me. Thank you very much for your and the directors' votes of confidence in me. I'll do my very best in my new position. Thanks again.

 

Willow_Boy

Edited by willow_boy
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