The Mail Box

[ChoukoHanako]

I would've written a love letter for you but i'd send you a hate mail instead. Just in time for the Emo session i'd see again later on for the mall tour.

 

Paul,

 

I sincerely love the hugs i got from you last night. The kisses i planted on your cheeks were oh so magical but what the flying f#&k were you thinking about asking me to join the tour with you? i'm not a groupie! I'll never be your groupie! the way you tore down the whole mall for your smashing songs were undeniably one of the biggest thing there since NO ONE.. I just didn't get it why after i called you up, you say mean things behind my back with your band mates. Don't you have any idea how much i'd kiss your ass by defending you to media? And yet you let me hear all those harsh words? Oh my disgrace.

 

Have a fantastic life ahead. Please don't bother to call.text or whatever. I'm just so disgusted.

 

Your ex-biggest fan,

Abi

 

P.s.

Martin and i had a great time at the back stage.

sleep on that.

[yellowmoon]

you,

 

don't ask too much 'bout me.

i don't like the way you're treating me.

you only want me when you need me.

there's a difference between those words

i know your game..

i don't buy it..

 

sorry!

 

 

your not-so-stupid 'friend'

[hoowat]

you,

 

nahuhurt pa rin ako pag nakikita ko nick mo!

 

i can see myself ..affording to loose a small group ..just to be away from the pain...

 

Naisip ko marami pang isda sa dagat...

 

"I love you but I hate what youve become!"

 

I want the person before.. humble..accpted me for my worst...and supported me to hoan my best...

 

I just went off for 4 mos and when I came back ur a total different you...

 

snobbing me sa threadsss...(i felt used ..parang walang pinagsamhan...and I was hurt)...

 

everytime i woke up...often felt bitter...

 

it might be out of jealousy but i doubt it ...thats its an 80% total NO..No ...

 

I remember ur last word on me..."hindi ako patatalo"...

 

God' I don't want competition..I seek refuge...

 

My personal life is a no secret on u....we are a very small family..and I consider friends as a second family...

 

I will nevr forget the humble soul uve shown me...thats why Im hurt...I miss that...

 

I love that person hu drives an old pick up..

 

I always admire ur success ...I'm happy for you...its just that I'm sad ur not my dear friend anymore...

 

I know I'm wrong...I arrived ...and u saw the diffrent me..cold...the cold one...cold to them...

 

I grew tired from my travels...and I coudnt find u no more...ur a total complete different person

 

but I'm blatantly honest with myself...I can't smile with my heart aching...I feel alone...

 

...at feeling ko trying hard ako...when my effort is not genuine coming from my heart...

 

no matter how i post stuffs just to hide my feelings..I cant hide from myself...

 

I wanna go back to the old me..confident, fun ,giver ,listener and loved by people for thy postiive transparency.

 

Im askin God to help me not to grow old wicked and bitter...for him to help me to trust and Love again....

 

Sorry rin sa pagkukulang ko...be safe always and hope ull find that consistent happiness that uve been lookin for...

 

same thing that Ive been longing noon pa...

 

 

Me

Edited September 6, 2008 by witch

[glacier_eyes]

Stop saying that you're not a womanizer when you keep on appearing with a different girl every week and even proud of doing it. You're not fooling us. You're fooling yourself.

[naked_angel]

edward,

 

you were never the one-text-one-phone-call-away kind of person.

but i never had to ask. you just knew when i needed you and your strange humor.

i must've exhausted your patience and my chances because tonight, just when i needed to talk to you, is the night you decide to go missing and unreachable.

 

for a change, i'm doing the asking this time. enjoy the dawn

 

bella

[naked_angel]

you who robbed me earlier of my wallet but did not even bother with the camera and ipod inside my bag,

 

i hope you get run over by a huge truck and your body's dragged for several meters until you're nothing but a few pieces of unidentifiable decapitated flesh!.

 

screw you, assh*le!

[baby_lei]

Baby,

 

Today marks the 8th month of your death. Wow, 8 months. Time flies by so fast. The thought of you calling me and waking me up to go to class is still so fresh. The ghost of you and what was us still looms over me like a leering joke. It hurts so much. So much so, that sometimes I feel like I just want to be with you NOW. I can't see myself living without your passion and intense emotions. Without your mesmerizing eyes, addicting smile and never ending laughter. I miss everything about you. Your anger. Your passion. Your craziness. Your smile. Your kisses. Your hugs. Your voice. Your eyes. Your fingers. The tattoos that you have, I miss kissing them. Your skin. I miss tasting it. I also miss the taste of your mouth. The way you call me cookie when you know that I'm pissed at you. The way you would give me puppy eyes to ask for forgiveness. The fierceness of your eyes when you're pissed. I want to run into your arms after a long day of work. I want to play with your fingers while you tell me how demanding one of your patients were that day. I want to wink at you at family gatherings, reminding you of our secret joke. I want to give you that secretive smile, promising of a more interesting night than the conversation we're having with your boss. I want to see that mischievous look that you have while tickling me or when you surprised me.

 

The way you would comfort me when I needed it the most. I miss the times that you would tell me that I am your inspiration. That seeing me sad makes your heart weep. That seeing me cry, breaks your heart in two. The same goes for me baby. Seeing you on that hospital bed, I wished that it was me. That it was I that was suffering. I felt helpless not knowing what to do to help you ease the pain. But you kept reassuring me, that just seeing me and holding my hand for as long as it could be was enough. But baby, it isn't enough. I'm not yet sick of seeing your face. Of seeing you smile. I still want to embrace you. To tell you what happened during my day. To wake up beside you. To cuddle with you on a lazy rainy day, like how it is today. The rain makes me feel so much more alone than ever. It pronounces even more how I miss your warmth, the closeness and the assured protection that I get from just being with you.

 

I wished you didn't have to go out to eat that night. I wished that kid just thought twice before driving drunk. I wished that something else happened instead of that fateful accident. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to save you. I wanted to love you even more. At that time, I thought that I would not have that opportunity anymore. But on the contrary, I can love you even more by remembering memories of you. By living life like how you wanted me to live my life after your death. The kid did pay for what he did, but no matter how much he's going to pay and how long he'll stay in jail, you still won't be coming back to me. How I wish I could remember everything about you forever. I don't want anything to slip away from my grasp. But it seems like your voice is fading away. Whenever I have that feeling, I would open the card that you gave me on my 20th last year. Your recorded voice when I open the card, that voice so sweet. It caresses my heart so much that the sadness and the pain goes away even for just a little bit. Then I come back to reality. The reality that you will never be here.

 

I am still getting used to the idea that you will never come back to me physically, but i know that you are always with me in memory and soul. I've always thought that we would spend our lives together until we're old and wrinkly. I guess that dream will never happen. Please wait for me in heaven. Wait for me. I promise you that I will enjoy my life to the fullest. I promise that I will find someone that I will love like I have loved you. I know that I will never find another guy who will treat me like you did. I will not compare you to everyone else because you're uniquely you. Nobody else is the same way as you are.

 

You were there at my lowest. You were there at my proudest. You were my life. YOU ARE MY LIFE. You were my inspiration. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I still want that, but I know that it will never happen.

 

Thank you for inspiring me.

 

Thank you for pushing me.

 

Thank you for getting mad at me.

 

Thank you for being there for me.

 

Thank you for loving me.

 

I will always love you. ALWAYS and ALWAYS.

 

Loving you and Missing you,

 

Lei

[raistlin]

dearest mom,

 

words can't explain how much i missed you and how much you have been a source of strength for the past several years.. I know i have not been a good son, yet I try my best to help..

 

I still feel the pain in my heart the day you left for a better place.

 

When I do recall you, tears start brimming in my eyes that I can't control nor hold back..

 

I just want to let go.. :cry:

 

I really missed you since you've been gone...

 

It's been over a year and 6months since you passed away.. and yet I still can't help missed your presence...

 

Yet I still feel that you have watched over me these past weeks when i came near death and accidents..

 

thanks for always being there for me..

 

I missed you

[raistlin]

M,

 

you have been an inspiration, a source of stregth and bestest friend in my whole wide world...

 

I wouldn't know what I would do without you.. If i haven't met you in my life, who gave me encouragement who was there when I was feeling blue and down in the dumps...

 

I have often thought of letting go.. yet, your smile made me perservere under the difficulty that I went through.. your words of encouragement makes me strive and face the challenges head on.

 

you optimistic words make me believe that I can handle all..

 

you were there when my mom passed away to lend me your shoulder to cry on.. you were my pillar of strength and I do appreciate it..

 

I just want you to know that I am lucky to have you as my bestest friend in life

 

who kept on believing and giving me encouraging words to face the challenges thrown to me.

 

thanks for always being there for me as I am always there for you

 

M,

 

you have been an inspiration, a source of stregth and bestest friend in my whole wide world...

 

I wouldn't know what I would do without you.. If i haven't met you in my life, who gave me encouragement who was there when I was feeling blue and down in the dumps...

 

I have often thought of letting go.. yet, your smile made me perservere under the difficulty that I went through.. your words of encouragement makes me strive and face the challenges head on.

 

you optimistic words make me believe that I can handle all..

 

you were there when my mom passed away to lend me your shoulder to cry on.. you were my pillar of strength and I do appreciate it..

 

I just want you to know that I am lucky to have you as my bestest friend in life

 

who kept on believing and giving me encouraging words to face the challenges thrown to me.

 

thanks for always being there for me as I am always there for you

[raistlin]

my dear a,

 

I understand your fears, yet let me try to help you cleanse your fears if not drive them away...

 

I would want it to work between us..

 

Please tell me...

 

:cry:

 

i missed you..

[sexydiwata]

dear mtc members,

 

thanks po sa mgandang pagwelcome nyo skn

 

 

hayssssss

ilan araw ko plng d2

dami ko na ngng kbgan

 

but guys

i would like to tell na i am not psp ha

 

my mga ngwarned na skn about dat

 

 

hahaha

anyway tnx sa mga mods na willing na iassist ako d2

and to my kuya hardrive

 

at sa lht ng ngwelcome skn at ung malinis ang pkkpgkbgan skn

 

more power mtc!

[raistlin]

to co-leader at work,

 

I am heart broken to hear that you'll be transferring to another program, as I am would be transferring to another program.

 

I know we shared good times and have fun working with each other..

 

I know your crush and all..

 

I know it's difficult to avoid changes, yet we have to face it head on.

 

I was crushed when I got transferred to libis, yet it was a bleassing.. then now less than two months time, I get transferred again..

 

sometimes I wonder what they wamt...

 

let's met the challenges head on

 

thanks for being there and giving me advice on my problems as well

Edited September 7, 2008 by raistlin

[charmingcindy26]

OJ,

 

I miss you so much... A year is about to come... A year when you're not here... I hope to see you when you get back... I have a lot of things to tell you, to share to you... I wanna hug you so tight to make up with those times when you felt that I've ignored you... I admit I've been caught up with a lot of things but I've never ignored nor will ignore you... By the way, your favorite OPM band has a new single now... Upon hearing that new song, I remembered you... My favorite OPM artist has a new album, too... Akala mo ikaw lang ang dapat magdiwang ha... I hope I could talk to you again... I hope I could hear your voice again... I hope to hear a good news from you... I hope everything is well with you... I really miss you so much...

 

:cry:

 

PL

[glacier_eyes]

Please stop talking. I'm so fed up and I'm having a headache now. Don't make it even worst.

[BallBreaker]

dude,

 

wag kang magbiro ng ganyan... baka kumagat ako sa dare mo.

 

I love you.

 

 

love,

your housemate/tag team partner

 

 

ps

 

last night was super great! still feels like our first.

[baby_lei]

Hey Big Baby Bear,

 

I dreamt of you last night. It felt so real. I felt every hug, every kiss. Your eyes were twinkling as always. Your I love you's were so sincere. Especially the last one. You looked me straight in the eye and sincerely, with all your heart, told me that you love me forever. Could it be real that you visited me during sleep? You know that I believe in souls and ghosts. But either way, it felt so good to hug you again, to kiss you again, to make love to you again. I may sound so weird, but I still long for you everyday and even if i can just smell and taste your skin for five minutes then it'll be the best week i'll ever have.

 

Yet at the same time my dream made me cry and long for you even more. Knowing that I can only do that in dreams once in a while, breaks my heart into pieces. When I woke up, I woke up crying. Seeing our pictures together seemed like a mockery to my dream. Because you're not with me when I woke up, I woke up hugging my pillow tight with tear stains on it.

 

I miss you very much my Bear. I'm glad that I saw you, even in dreams. You seem to be happy, yet at the same time I saw the longing that I have in your eyes as well. I know baby, it was so bittersweet. But know that we will be together sometime soon. I will never let a day pass without thinking of you. Because you use to occupy my life, and trust me you still will. I love you very much. Very very very very much.

 

Here is a quote from our favorite play, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare:

 

Good-night, good-night! Parting is such sweet sorrow

That I shall say good-night till it be morrow

 

-Juliet, Act II, scene ii

 

God, I do hate parting, especially knowing that you will never come back in flesh. But I know that you are always with me in soul. And that I will see you again in heaven and we will be happy together again. I love you so much it hurts.

 

Bear, I miss you. I love you. I wish you could come back. Come back. Stay with me, forever.

 

I love you,

 

Cookie.

[naked_angel]

j,

 

i chanced upon your blog tonight.

not too many entries there. you posted an entry about the break up. another entry saying you made your decision and you need to stand by it. the last two entries took me by surprise. only because i never realized how good you work with words. you wrote about a girl who you're in love with now but she doesn't seem to see you that way. the words you used described the pain you are in now.

with a deep breath, i listened to myself after reading that entry. i waited for any change in the way my heart was beating that time. but i felt nothing. i took it as a good sign. that we have finally moved on.

there's a smile on my face as i type this unsent letter for you. reading the entries wasn't such a bad thing. but it's something i don't think i'll want to come across again. it just shows that time heals. almost all the the time.

getting over a relationship that long in such a short time seem impossible. i could only guess that love has left the relationship long before familiarity has set in. and we wanted out but we were just scared to admit that we'd be lost without each other. much of our growing up years were spent together. it was only after you left that i realized that the best growing up is best done with no one else but myself.

 

with no bitterness and hatred (and no hope or agenda here either), i wish you happiness and love.

 

to letting go and moving on

to finding new lives and new loves

 

k

[ChoukoHanako]

Transferee,

 

Didn't you drop out of your school a week ago for personal reasons? Why did you have to go back in OUR school? Do you think you would find your "personal" s@%t with us? No, don't get me wrong, our school is not heavily populated and if you should know, one of the school's AWOL all the time student is now back because she heard of your appearance. Ah, your star circle magic isn't as shiny as it used to be so don't expect people to be asking for your autograph. I'm leaving that to your number one fanatic, manang corazon.

 

Kristine Hermosa is so 3 years ago, can't you just friggin' move on?

 

Classmate

[angel_by_day]

uhhm.....errr.....

dear kiddos (and the not-so-young kiddos around),

 

do me a favor.

do away with your senseless inuendos.

go bother the other girls.

 

and btw, i dont store mtc members' numbers in my phonebook....to save me the effort of erasing them later on....so dont bother.

 

shoo

[BallBreaker]

dude,

 

super galing mo daw. syempre... dynamic duo e! they were telling me a while ago of how everything falls into place for us. they told me they can clearly see how much you love me. cheesy! if they only knew that what they can see is just the tip of the iceberg.

 

I'm so lucky to have you, pare.

 

some plane will take you away from me again, but it'll also bring you back. if only you could keep me in your pocket and take me with you wherever you go. unfortunately, I may be small, but not THAT small. see you in a few days. can't wait.

 

 

waiting,

your tiny dancer

 

 

ps

 

thanks for putting up with the time-of-the-month-brattiness. heehee. you've been warned.

[kutingkitten]

hello,

 

you know very well how i hate textspeak. isa pang "kumain na ba u," dudunggulin na kita. masyadong jologs. wag din masyadong trying hard, bata ka pa para maging DOM. i am nice, sweet and we could talk about a sundry of stuff for long hours BUT we have to be comfortable first (or i have to be VERY bored, at least). take care.

 

love,

kitten

[raistlin]

to the lady that i loved.

 

I just want you to know how much I love you and that you hold a very special place in my heart.

 

Though you may have broken my heart to pieces I want to work it out between us...

 

pls...

[mwah]

When that day comes, I'll give you the time of your life.

[Lipstick]

I know I should be napping now but thoughts of you constantly draw me in like pools of nectar on sheets of lust. Just remember, I love you best because you have langka like me.

 

Later handsome. :*

[ButtChicKick]

I still get the chill up my spine whenever i see your name on my phone.

And that chill goes down whenever I start reading your message.

Nothing has change in me.

It has always been you.

 

 

 

Thanks, SMART buddy.