The Mail Box

[Dr_PepPeR]

Ms. K,

 

Do you really mean what you say? I still wonder sometimes....

 

Ms. K the other,

 

Happy for you! Want to see you but there's just no time....

Edited September 3, 2006 by Dr_PepPeR

[iwalkalone]

Bestfriend,

I knew it....to be this close...something deeper is inevitable. I care for you now more than i ever did before....I'm still unsure....i might only be experiencing something i've never really known all my life. Let's stay this way...this close... I need you :flowers: :heart: Iwa

Edited September 3, 2006 by iwalkalone

[TNT Hsia]

Dear Tatay,

 

I understand so many things

 

Why you didn't care so much for me even when I was born. Nanay nearly died delivering me. If I had been in your place, I'd probably feel the same way at the time too but maybe not as long as you did.

 

Why you didn't provide me any more than tokens of attention a father is obliged to give. I became Nanay's favorite (maybe because I nearly cost her life) & yours & the rest of the family's rival for her affection that I wasn't even asking for.

 

Why you, in agreement with Nanay & everyone else in the family, believed I can't think for myself, don't know what to do with my life & doubted the success of ventures I set out on my own. For a while, I even agreed with everyone until someone challenged me to prove I & everyone was wrong & until you conspired with the father of my first true love to deprive me & her of that magical moment to which everyone is entitled.

 

Why you got sorely pissed with my flying the coop before college graduation, taking a college course you looked down on, casting a curse that I will be the biggest loser among your kids because life was all about you & that you always had to be the one right all the time.

 

Why not? You thought you knew love for you won the heart of a lady whom even a prince offered a throne & the heart of the most beautiful woman in the universe at the time. You thought you were strong & patriotic for fighting the Japs & asking no reward from the Yanks in return because you did it for the Philippines, not the USA. You thought you knew what's best because you have made, lose & recovered fortunes & provided for your one & only family of nine.

 

It must have been bittersweet to see me prove you wrong about me, that I can carve my life anywhere I want to in the world. From letters of Nanay, I imagine your silence when you receive good news about me that make fathers proud. From your own mouth, I heard no consoling words but "I told you so..." & "Palpak ka talaga!" from the tiniest mishaps humans are prone to commit to the failures of marriage plans already set.

 

What irritated you the most was seeing your opinion of me no longer mattered to me. That I was living life not for you but because it pleased me. You taught me well why & how to be independent of you, that I can live without you & wear proud our irrenciliable differences. However, that irritation seems nothing compared to realizing & seeing that you still mattered to me. So here I am.

 

It must be getting even harder to lose the good looks, your physical strength the dignity of working for a living, even commending to God a couple of your kids, my siblings. In the end, I see you count the blessings left: the voices, images & thoughts of your children, grandkids & great grandkids are well though scattered across four winds; fondly recounting memories of your rites of passage, flirtatious youth & life with Nanay; acknowledging mistakes & reflecting regret in your eyes.

 

Your frustrations show in your quiet tears & childish tantrums & your wits return to you when you hear me talk to you as your offspring, no longer a child but your personal carer. You realize the things that you thought wrong of me & try to take back your rebukes of me. You see words are like bullets, when fired, can't be returned to their chambers.

 

For a long time they no longer hurt me, Tatay. You can no longer hurt me. I don't desire to hurt you back either. I'm just thankful for the opportunity to be here with you & Nanay & learning what counts in life at the end.

 

Regardless of the pains we may have inflicted on each other, they are integral to the happy times we've spent as a family & will continue to spend together with the time God graces us.

 

I love you Tatay & I know you love me. That's what counts.

[LostCommand]

General order number 19.

 

No matter how the bosses may wine and dine us, in the most intimate and poshest of private places at that, clinking crystal, piled carpets, shiny sterling and soft talking butlers and all, never act as if at once familiar, nor instantly totally at-home, nor completely deserving of company. You must, initially, maintain a certain formality, a certain respect, a certain distance, a certain politeness, a certain humility. They are where they are, and we are where we are, and that will not change over 10 dinners, nor over a year. We have no idea of the blood and scars it must have taken them to earn them their Directors' seats - so do not presume ourselves their equals.

 

You could be wrong, dead rotten wrong.

 

Time is essential to allow you to get closer to their company, at least, to more than the superficial. No amount of hard work, flirting, and conscious effort will substitute for that necessary modicum of slow maturation. What is actually happening is that these bosses know that any faults, weaknesses, inconsistencies, quirks of behaviour, background and breeding, and other possible angles you may carry, will naturally come out given enough time and space, and without requiring any conscious effort on their part except to wait and see. And so they will want to let all these things come out and be judged to their satisfaction, before they accept us into their circle, and before they allow us to progress beyond the superficial bonds. This gradual acceptance may take months, if not years.

 

In any relationship, there is no substitute for time.

 

Call is snobbishnes, call it high falutin' elitist manners, but before anyone can drop his/her guard and be who he/she really are, firstly he/she also need to know who the other persons really are, as well. Logical, isn't it? This initial stage of guardedness cannot be rushed nor skipped; the stakes are often too high, unless the relationship is anyway of little lasting importance to either party. And the higher the we go up the hierarchy, the more prolonged this stage may be. Obvious now, is it not?

 

You will know in no uncertain terms once this stage is over.

 

The same with friendships, the same with partners, and I dare say, the same with even simple booty calls. Mere intimacy, especially rapid intimacy, does not justify the instant trust or overnight familiarity of both parties towards each another - this will lead only to unintended contempt and an early failure of relationships, of any sort. Only after some period of time has elapsed should anyone allow himself to drop his masks to trusted others without fear of revealing his many mistakes and weaknesses, risking ridicule, or worse, suffering misunderstanding.

 

Trust and familiarity are earned slowly, in the meantime, please exercise reserve and restraint, practice proper polity, suffer some formality

 

Your dark lesson for the week,

 

LC

 

(back to exile, dang it)

[bluegreen717]

JG,

 

I am very, very, happy that you have found comfort and solace, and trust, in TJ. It pains me that you had to ask him, in confidence, why I hated D, and the answer you offered was exactly what I gave you: disrespect, and D's furtive answer that I would never forgive him. It hurts me to realize that this early, D and I have caused you pain, and even more so now that you are keeping such turmoil in secret. Could you be like most grown-ups, already forcing a veneer of strength to everyone around you? Cry, my baby, cry, if you want to, I'll never berate you for being your age.

 

I'm sorry if I cannot teach you forgiveness, I'm sorry if I cannot teach you generosity. Somehow, such qualities failed me. But it never failed L, and I am hoping that she teaches you well. TJ, too. A very forgiving, and very generous, man. The only two people I will ever entrust your future to.

 

One day you'll read all my letters, and understand.

 

M

[LostCommand]

General order number 20,

 

We have reached battle efficiency

 

Others would call this, light at the end of the tunnel. Two weeks of hard slogging are left, but we already know what to do and whilst we still suffer hits and casualties (and sleepless nights and packed weekends), these are just the the unavoidable injuries sustained in the normal course of work, and are more in the nature of wounds than fatalities.

 

I will not write to you much now, over these next two weeks. We all know, more or less, what paperworks are left for us to do in this particular project. Many other concerns, other work and projects, will now start crowding in on us, as well as personal matters too long put on hold.

 

Stone cold, battle efficiency. How intimidating we must look to the other side.

 

LC

Edited September 5, 2006 by LostCommand

[Psychotherapist]

How can it be declared to be just fine? A prayer in the morning and a devout church service every Sabbath, and yet...

 

Let us not exaggerate; it is a sin to masturbate.

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Y,

 

You must have forgot.

 

Anyway ...

 

A

[Mobius Stripper]

Sleep it off, Bud!

Yesterday's a given.

Today's always a present.

Tomorrow never comes.

Remember, no matter how tires you get, you have an eternity upon which to rest.

[missmanners]

i remember the butterflies.

the questions that came afterwards.

the wondering if this was even right.

so soon after the other one,

i mean.

i couldn't really see straight.

but i remember the butterflies.

and the surprising giddiness.

and the overwhelming realizations.

and then the disarming acceptance.

and now the paralyzing attachment.

 

but i do remember the butterflies.

i just wish they were still around.

[iwalkalone]

Thank you....for staying with me....there are no words to describe how grateful I am...and thankful for having you around.

When you made that "goodbye" prank...you won't imagine how crushed i felt inside...i won't even tell you how it felt like ...please don't do that again...you're gonna give me a heart attack! I need you bestfriend :heart: ...i'm tempted to use a better word for "need"...but...i won't!

[Barenaked-NoMre]

For you,

 

You always write with such themes ...

 

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.

-Maya Angelou

 

A

[Niru]

To ......... (the yellow duck at my back)

 

I thought the day wouldn't pass

The love i have for you, you'd never asked

So forget the day I always knew

The day i wish that would come true

 

But to declare to you the words you'll say no

I knew i can but wouldn't let it go

Despite the differences we always make

Sometimes i falter, i'll always take.

 

So i say for you on more time

For you to decide what youll find

To me its just a simple line

Like calmness that makes me fine

 

By the time you knew ill be true

To all the answers, it is you

Eventhough some things are left untrue

What matters most, its always been you.

 

n.

Edited September 5, 2006 by nilisticool

[TNT Hsia]

Thanks for the call.

 

Graduating from psychiatry in 32 weeks, eh? G'd on ya! You want to make me your first patient? Well, you have to take a 15 hour trip from where you are but your welcome anytime. Can't fly over there with a two year self-imposed term. Haha... (What you don't know is that I'm going to suprise you with a two-way ticket to visit me by the time).

 

Time has flown. You've grown. You're becoming what you put your heart & mind into. Despite the hardships you went through not only are you going far & wide on your own steam, you maintain that childlike cheer which is contagious.

 

You thanked me for everything? I thank you more for that everything. I inspire you? Well, you inspire me. It was difficult losing your Mommy & growing up with sometimes a pain-in-the-butt Uncle like me then I learned not everyone is spared such tragedies. Being there for each other made me stronger as it did you.

 

Let's go back to what made you so excited to call me, beating your brother to the news. You're going to have a second pamankin. Great! You're such a terrific aunt at your age. Your brother telling you not to spoil his daughter is a sign you're that. Now, there will be two.

 

Though you might be quite shy to tell me, don't be afraid to start your own family now. Don't make me the basis of your life decision; you have my blessings. You've found a great guy, if you love each other, then don't let fear & security keep you from pursuing what makes you happy. Your Mom would want that for you too.

 

I love you, my niece, as if you were my own daughter! If ever I do have one, I'll be only so happy if she is exactly like you.

[chipmaker]

boss,

 

the careers of six people are at stake.

 

dont f#&k this up for us. we've already talked amongst ourselves and if we see even a hint of indecisiveness on your part, we're going to drop you like a hot potato. unlike you, we already know which horse we're betting on.

 

chip