The Mail Box

[iwalkalone]

Dear You......

 

Can't you be normal for once?....think like everyone else does...see life like them...be as happy and cheerful like them? Why are you so complicated? why must you complicate everything...why do your thoughts break you? why do you let your emotions get the best of you? Hush......be still...stop creating these monsters in your head.

 

:flowers:

[Wyld]

 

I've been sitting on my bed

With a glass on my hand

Tryin' to figure out a way for me to understand

Through this talk we've just had

The questions I have asked somebody yesterday

About the sign that's in your eyes

About the biggest smile

Or your facing away

Questions I have asked somebody how you feel

Only eyes reveal

Your answer's not for real

 

But I can't read you mind

Not this time

I just wanna know what you're going through

I don't feel wrong about asking you

But I can't read your mind

Not this time

 

There are times when you don't wanna say

That there are problems in your head that you can't explain

I have been that way

Baby there's a hug or a kiss or two

But not forever do

If only I'd reach you

 

Maybe I'm a child

Maybe I'm a woman

Maybe I am old

Maybe I said something

Reasons, to push me away

Maybe I have laughed

Maybe I have cried

But never did I try

To put hurt on your side

 

I can't read your mind

Not this time

 

i wont give up.

[TNT Hsia]

For the longest time, I thought love was a feeling; the more intense, the more true. For that feeling, I nearly tied the knot thrice. Fate, however, had other plans. Among them was an answer to a prayer that if our love, if either hers or mine, were anything short of the truth, let the nuptials no be so. Thus, none was. Thank you for that.

 

Then I tried to look for love in fleeting pleasures of the world, rewards for hard & smart work, things that envy people you for the more, friends that say what you always wished for... These things were no more than illusions, phantoms in the mist & islands of the lotus eaters. Ephemeral pleasures leave me wanting more. Rewards can be lost or broken. What people envy you for, they want & try to steal. Words as sweet as honey become substitutes to money when they can get what they want for free, in short, steal; fine words may not be true & true words may not be fine. Scary thing is, the world entraps, not frees people to pursue what ought to be & settle for the prison of just what is here & now. Thank you for the strength to unbind the rope & sever the shackles &, more importantly, the grace of the opportunity for a timely escape.

 

Then I believed love was the earnest desire to bring out the best in myself so that I can bring out the best in the other but if love was so selfless, why did I lose people I loved, not to death but to time? When I strive to excel, why did at times did they compete & feel & express envy & jealousy? I can only opine that perhaps they didn't love me at all. For that time, I may have served a purpose for them and, once served, they move on & leave me like an empty sack of rice.

 

For now, I opine, love is a collage of many factors, a cuisine of many fine ingredients that require carefully mixing & preparation and provides pleasure for the artist in the act of creation as well as the audience when beheld by the world. It may not even know reason or rhyme, but is tested by time, distance, deprivation & temptation of one or both broought about by tepidit, ennui & the pains of disappointment that the other was not quite the person expected to be.

 

Love isn't love when in one's heart it just stays. Love becomes love when it's given away but love isn't love when it's simply one way. Contrary to the caveat emptor of no return, no exchange, love is a return & exchange deal; it must be returned & must be exchanged. For that to work, it must be accepted & received.

 

That is perhaps where my shortcoming lay: to accept what I receive; to allow, to enable & to appreciate the other she may bring out the best in herself to bring out the best in me. Thank you for the grace of a mirror to see that the shortcoming in love is also in me.

[iwalkalone]

Dear_,

 

Would you be happier if i just forget these feelings i have for you...and accept you as a friend...? just a friend? would that make you feel better? Imagine this..... i won't stand so close to you anymore...i won't be saddened if we didn't talk...i won't miss you...and when you hear my voice...it'll be flat and deep....and when you look into my eyes...it'll be cold and indifferent....when i'm with..."if " i'm with you...you won't see me smiling like i used to...or burst into tears or break into uncontrollable fits of laughter....cuz...it's just you and my feelings for you that makes me feel this alive... this real. Would that make you happier?

[LostCommand]

Ma'am,

 

You are offering me, effectively, to be a GM of Operations, 5th in command of that future multibillion dollar manufacturing complex down south, 8th in command of this MNC's entire local chapter. And a Director's seat, a full f#&k (full voting) Director's seat, on the Board of an oily MNC. Early next year too, soon after I turn 34; what a f#&king well-timed birthday gift. I asked you why, and you said, in a few words, that while we can live with shoddy infrastructure, faulty legislation, tight budgets, low profits, unprincipled competition, stupid government, even outright market reversals and losses, we however simply cannot live without the correct sort of bosses.

 

Our livelihood depends on them.

 

Such direct, old fashioned, un-buzzwords. You have found the necessary language to quickly get to the core of the more notorious of your captains of today. The arcane rules of this stingy company of course means that given relative youth and the non-allowance of multiple compensations, I will not get paid all that high, even compared to my present pay. But then long ago, you had already found the true coin of my currency,

 

And you are coming close to my price, ma'am. So very close.

 

I almost taste that aphrodisiac kick.

 

The many and manifold implications of accepting, or of rejecting, your proposition, to my MNC career, to my 2007/2010/2013 political prospects, to my MBA training and aspirations, to my personal (and sex?) life, to the next ten years to come, are complex, overlapping, and interwoven. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. At least, it is given me that luxury of choice; decades of training at the hands of masters teaches one to work unpaid overtime always preparing choices. For to catch luck, the net must be spread wide; like the well-parted long legs of them chicks getting their much-deserved, all-out, rock-hard, gut-honest dues.

 

For some silly reason the idea of having to, at long long last, give up plain Jags and Nikes and Casios and old style Raybans, for Zegnas and Omegas and Bally's, actually does carry some weight in my mind. The last son of feared, UP-bred rebel commanders who have fallen leading both the dirt-poor soldiers and the landless dispossessed, simply should never be caught so dressed-up. On the other hand, the latest version of those old-school V*******r warlords would be just as swaggeringly, comfortably at-home carrying on, as you may have guessed.

 

But these are petty concerns ma'am. You have given me 6 months to consider. And you would choose precisely this timing to ask, just when I am in the middle of a record breakingly big, tremendously busy, completely bareback gangbang of wickedly cunning work?

 

But of course,

 

Those who would deal with the overlords, cross them at great peril. One would hesitate even to barter.

 

LC

[Barenaked-NoMre]

L,

 

Thank you for the afternoon treat. I needed that.

 

As well, as someone to make light of things ... as I'm TOO serious with worry about my tomorrows.

 

A

[in_style]

you should know who you are,

 

thank you for making the days better...

thank you for making loong dragging days short...

thank you for making me laugh...

thank you for taking away my tired feeling with your smile...

thank you for all you sms reminders...

thank you for being in my life...

 

 

-xtn-

[iwalkalone]

I'm so sorry I was so confused since day1. But earlier tonight....I'm not sure what came over me....but suddenly I seem to think clearer about you and me now.Maybe it was the fact that I've been pressuring myself too much lately to make a hard and fast choice between my "wanting" you and my "losing you"....which led mo to this light of conclusion. I know now what matters most to me....It's the gift of frienship you've been giving me since day1.And I appreciate you now more than ever. :flowers:

[Apollo]

Let go of Fear.

 

Masturbate and you'll go blind,

Look for snakes and you will find,

The scribbled hyroglyphs,

The truth we find in myths.

 

Crack a mirror and count to seven,

Hail Mary then go to heavan,

Count the ravens on the line,

Whisper through the grape vine.

 

Treat every word as being true,

Let the superstitions through,

You'll spend all day looking back,

Searching for pavement cracks.

 

Or put your feet up on the table,

Drink soup straight from the ladle,

Do everything that you're dared,

Because lifes too short to be scared.

[willow_boy]

Common courtesy........ is it?

[LostCommand]

p#tang %na mo charlie

 

It just strikes me, reading this latest company newsheet, if I ever accept this assignment, and if I ever ever come across you again, charlie D, putang-ina mo, you short, thin, dark, taglish spouting, dog-descended whelp from some promiscuous, diseased, over-aged, loose-pussied monkey-mating retarded pokpok, I'll get you a Western Mindanao re-assignment immediately; I would only have to wish it; such is the free hand of these private corporations. I do not care that your wife is bravely battling cancer and chemo, or that your only kid has ADD, as per this latest newsheet. Twelve years ago, when I was a young and skinny new grad engineer and you were a pandak of an HR lordling, you suspended me without pay, publicly, for talking back.

 

I was made an example eh?

 

It is only because I was too busy working, scheming, leading, getting promoted, and in my (very) limited spare moments, too distracted with all those truly incredibly heartbreakingly delicious ladies dropping from heaven all the time, that I did not get back at you. p#tang %na mo, you s@%t-skinned Indio from some third rate school, you had better start pissing your pants praying hard for good juju that I do not accept this assignment. If I did, and you so much as dared lock eyes with me as I stalk the upper corridors, p#tang %na mong negritong kulot ka, you will be in Zamboanga the very next month. I will make such excellent example of one so ill-mannered and bitch-bred, who knows not his place, nor his betters.

 

And you would know it was me.

 

If I happen to bump into you in my brief trip to Makati next week, I'll remember give you a snot-warm middle finger greeting, hopefully while trapped together all the way up in the company elevators, people crowding around us. I am 4 inches taller, 30 muscular pounds heavier, and (nowadays) 2 full levels higher than you, let me see you try to suspend me now, you dead ended middling manager, gago,

 

Fifty or a hundred years ago I would have simply shot you on the head on the spot, you socially illiterate mongrel. I am in fact wondering how your filthy unwashed ancestors had survived long enough to spawn you; we should have eliminated their ugly mugs from this beautiful land long ago, and so saved me the bother of dealing with your ungainly existence today. Pag ako ikaw, p#tang %na mong pango ka, mag-retiro ka na ngayon taon. Bago pa lalong uminit ulo ko sa pagka pangit pangit mong mukha, gago.

 

LC

[iwalkalone]

Dear

you really have to do that....you have to have rest....you have to calm down....you gotta stop thinking!

[Lipstick]

do not touch me

in those cold, empty places

where distress has replaced love's caress

do not breathe on my heart

and will it back to life

do not coax a smile from the depth of abandonment

do not give me back my dreams

my naive innocence

my boundless hope

do not teach me again

how to sing a love song

without crying over that which never was

 

just do not.

 

i will not be able to resist you.

 

-L-

[Dr_PepPeR]

Funny no? I thought our little adventure together was a mind-blowing, awesome, uplifting, emphatic, once-in-a-lifetime thing. I felt it in my bones. It was probably something else for you, a diversion, a loose end, while waiting for the next milestone in your life. I thought you shared with me something intimate, things about you that only your closest friends and lovers would be privy to. But I was just fooling myself. What was it? Was it that clumsy thing I managed to pull off before we parted? Or is there something about me that you cannot take meaningfully? I'm just curious, that's all. It's really OK, because for the few hours we were together I was living the dream. I was with you, you were with me, and we both paid no attention to the idiot box. At least that's what it was like for me. I will always remember that moment. Even when I mean nothing to you at all, I will still remember and smile. I know that I can never be a part of your life, but in that instance, I was. You will really be busy the next few days and I understand if you have no time to reply to my text, PM or YM. Pasensiyahan mo na ako if I try to. I don't expect you to answer anyway so it's all kewl. Be careful my friend, I hope you take better care of yourself. I'll still be here if you come back. Just give me some time to pick up the pieces of my life. You ARE special to me. Take care.

 

the person meant for you, is the person who will love you even when there's no more reason to love you.. for in your nothingness, the one meant for you will find what's lovable in you..

[LB]

I want you to be happy