The Mail Box

[Carnellian]

Thank you. For so many things. For the love that you showed me during our happier times. For standing by me when I needed you most. For caring. For making me feel pretty when I have always felt like such an ugly duckling. For the passion. For being someone I could lean on.

 

So much to be thankful for. And also so much to apologize for. For making you feel that you were not a priority, for being heedless and careless, for senseless words and petty fights. For losing sight of what was essential.

 

Which is not to say that I think I did nothing right in the time we were together. I loved. With abandon. With all my heart. I cared deeply. I forswore others.

 

The things you do and say now maim me. They have all but taken away my spirit. But ill hang on.

 

I still know in my heart ... As I know you do in yours.

 

[Barenaked-NoMre]

J,

 

Shame that it's only recently we've had the chance to talk over the phone.

 

Yet, we've been chatting on/off since last year.

 

Only thing is ... you're leaving soon.

 

Oh, boy!

 

The MEN are flying away ... from me.

 

Hope we get THAT chance to MEAT up sometime ... to make up for all the occassions we did plan/hope to MEAT.

 

Talk to you again ... soon!

 

A

Edited August 17, 2006 by barenaked

[Dr_PepPeR]

I miss you. When everything is said and done, I still miss you.

[iwalkalone]

We didn't get to talk much today....i missed you so much...wanted to text you everytime you cross my mind ( which would be...umm...every split second! too bad this girl's got too much pride ). I'm anxious...could this mean something...not good? am i gonna lose you soon? I hope not... :cry: Oh please stay with me...I need you to stay with me...friend

http://www.gifszone.com/content/icon/friends/friends_59.gif

[lemon]

the cloud is too thick, dear. try a clearer sky. easier to fly in those.

[myneymizehn]

mahal kita. sana bigyan mo ko ng pagkakataong maipakita yun sayo.

 

may nagawa ako, naiintindihan ko bakit ka nagalit.

 

pero may nagawa ka rin naman para saktan ako.

 

hindi ba talaga natin pwede ibaon yun sa limot?

 

parang erase erase erase re-take?

 

tapos one step at a time ulit?

 

pls?

[pussycatdoll]

dear ___,

 

hay naku.

 

if you want to know something, just ask me directly. i'll give you a straight answer, whether or not you're ready for it. if you want to tell me something, just come right out and say it. i'm not a mind reader, you know.

 

this runaround is getting really old really fast. if you don't even have the guts to try, then i'm walking away. you should know me well enough by now to realize that once i lose interest, it stays lost. please don't come running to me after the fact just to ask me to come back. trust me, i won't.

 

the clock starts now.

 

- m.

Edited August 19, 2006 by pussycatdoll

[darkenchantress]

This is all my fault...you've given me nothing but kindness...you showed me no less than a friendship so pure and selfless...still i wanted more. Now I have to turn away...I am shameful and disgusting. I just can't face you anymore....without begging you to love me With this thought....I'm gone for now.

[BlackWizard]

Mahal kong Empie,

 

Alam kong madalas tayong nagkakasama at marahil ay sawang sawa ka na sa akin... Mantakin mo ba naman pag kasama ko mga barkada ko kasama rin kita, pag-ako'y nag-iisa kasama rin kita. Minsan naipapagpalit pa kita kay RH.

 

Alam mo bang ikaw ang laman ng isip ko? Pag ako'y nag-iisa, pag-ako'y may kasama, pati na rin sa opisina! Mura kasi ang serbisyo mo... Sa sisenta y singko pesos ay solb na solb na ako sa'yo. Ipagpaumanhin mo nga lang kung may ka-partner ka pag ika'y aking kapiling. Alam mo naman na di kita ma-take pag wala sila, masyado kang matapang sa aking panlasa...

 

Salamat sa iyong pagkalinga at alam mo namang sadya kitang pinapahalagahan. Ninanamnam ko ang mga pagkakataong humahalik ka sa aking bibig, ang samyo ng iyong bango at ang init na dulot mo sa aking katawan. Nalalasing ako sa kaligayahang hatid mo sa akin.

 

Huwag ka sanang magbabago, pati na rin ang iyong presyo...

 

Nagmamahal,

Ryan.

 

 

 

 

(Siyanga pala, wala akong pakialam kung ma-Lapad ka man o Long ang Neck mo...)

Edited August 19, 2006 by BlackWizard

[Dr_PepPeR]

I really really really don't understand. Why make life complicated? Why not tell me or ask me? I've always tried to tell you, to show you what I feel, what I think, what I intend to do. Don't read between the lines too much because that simply isn't my style. I try to be transparent to everyone I consider close to me, and that includes you. yes YOU. I always take everything at face value. I hate to assujme things. But most of the time I'm forced to do so. Like writing this inane letter, which I'm sure you will assume to pertain to someone else and not you.

 

Just go ahead and take the risk. Being honest does make you vulnerable. So what? Take the goddam risk. If it does hurt you, it won't be forever. But at least you settled it, instead of letting the uncertainty gnaw at you most of the time.

 

And in case you're still wondering, I love you.

[chipmaker]

pre!

 

sabi sa yo eh.

 

[KristinLavransdatr]

m,

 

i am happy that you've found the right one for you, i hope. although, she seems not to my liking, looking strange at me, resentful of me. i meant to tell her we've known each other since '93, all 13 years we've been friends (and lovers at one time). just to take that smirk off her face.

 

finally, you've listened to what i told you - to find a girl. finally, thank god!

 

but you could have told her i've rejected you several times recently, over 3 years you've been wanting to have me again. that ought to have put her in her place.

 

but! yes, there's no room for that. a brave girl like her, to take you, with your heavy baggages need to be given a break.

 

and i wish you both good luck.

 

(ana, the jock has found a girl! no kidding!)

[Dr_PepPeR]

Thanks for the kiss. It changed everything.

[LostCommand]

(21st August - the fall of Ninoy)

 

Uncle Leon Aday, Jr.

 

We called him, simply, Uncle Junior. Distantly related to my grandad, they had worked together for nearly 50 years.

 

While I spent my childhood summers in a huge old house overlooking the national road, he stayed in a much humbler abode, amongst the many simple houses we overlooked from our balcony. Fate made him a very poor relation. He took his lot in stride.

 

He worked for my Lolo those many years as the right hand man and the intermediary to all the other farm labourers. He drew no extra allowance, just the meager pay of a mere farmhand, despite our distant relationship and his added duties. He never asked for more.

 

I spent so many youthful summers at his house, playing with his barefoot kids. I never realized till I was much older that he would lay out the best food he could scrounge from his little plot if he knew I was coming over to visit, even if next day his own little family would end up eating poorly! How I shudder whenever I remember making small complaints on the tuyo he would serve. The lash of that inner embarrasment stings even now, twenty five years later, and shall sting forever.

 

The sun-burned dark brown of his skin contrasted so sharply with the permanent fair red flush of my face, in the same way my world of guns, tinted cars, and plane tickets contrasted so much with the many sun-hot kilometers he had to walk every day in his duties for us, saving jeep fare money to give to his kids. Only a quirk of fate, generations ago, had prevented me from sharing his lot.

 

I smell native tobacco, and I remember him. I taste simple garlic-fried rice eaten with no ulam, just coffee, and I recall him.

 

When I began take my place in the hierarchy, I tried to reward him in some way. But it was too late. A lifetime of cheap cigarettes, poor diet, and repeated bouts of tropical fevers finally took their toll. A year after my own grandad passed away, he joined him. I told his poor and grieving family that those two were now "promoted to HQ" by the General, having each served their appointed duty in these harsh mortal realms. In broken whispers, I told them that Uncle Junior and Lolo were quietly chatting away in some cool spot under the trees in the heavenly fields, all cares forgotten, as they always did during their younger years. Probably wondering what all the ruckus is... through their tears, I drew out their smiles for you, Uncle.

 

We buried him in the distant blue hillsides, not far from my own great-grandad's grave. His family will always have a special connection to me, and the town knows this. For on the day of his burial, under the clear skies, completely blue horizon to horizon, I walked the last mile with you, my Uncle, upright and uncovered.

 

Uncle, remember when you taught me how to dig square and properly sized irrigation ditches for the huge ricefields? You had also taught me then never to impose burdens on another, that I could not have carried if I were in his shoes. Only then will that quiet growl of command be genuine.

 

Remember when you cooked for me what simple food you could muster when I was but a wide-eyed, brown-haired, inquisitive child? You had also taught me then to be prepared to eat and dress and live the very next moment as poorly as the least of my men. Only then will they follow me to the worst of places, to ride with me open eyed through one waiting ambush site after another, time after time, year after year, upon my word alone.

 

And above all I remember you, unknowingly, teaching me that on such strong and loyal backs as yours, did our family and this country build its first fortunes, and would rebuild its fortunes again. You pulled your weight and the weight of many others too. You taught me to respect the loyal, the hardworking, and the faithful. They are the ones who matter. They are the ones who change this world. Others do not matter,

 

and their fates do not concern me.

 

I am so sorry Uncle, that I was not able to pay you back enough for your many many lessons, and for all your unspoken love, for the way you called me "anak" and gave me your blessing everytime I left to go back to the city. I placed a handwritten note inside your coffin, by the way, pressed on your callused right hand. Show it to my Lolo, OK? Tell him, I myself have personally sent you on your way. Please tell him that I have kept doing what is expected of me, and that I have stayed simple.

 

He died at the time of year when the ricefields were golden, the bounty bursting the bodegas. He died at the time of abundant harvest, just when the fruits of his long labours had finally reached maturity, ready for the reaping.

 

Felix Villaflor IV

[complicated]

Don't mind me and don't worry about me...you can turn away anytime you like....do you think now is a good time to do it? ...then go....and forget you ever met me. I'll be fine...as always. Who am I to even cause you this dilemma? I am nobody...I am worthlessly insignificant. I am who I used to be...I am who I'll always be...you can't hurt me anymore...that would be impossible...I am numb and I thrive in pain. I might k*ll myself one day but don't think it was all about you....don't be too sure of yourself. Yeah...I really think I love you...but what does it matter? you never loved me back anyway...so if you wanna go now...there are no walls or doors to hold you in.....just don't look back or wonder if I'll be allright....just go.