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....I do'nt really know what changed my feelings for you...

was it the continuos ignoring you threw at me

for whatever I said or decided... do'esnt matter to you...your a maverick..

 

so you reaped what you sowed...for my feelings have gone.....ppppffft....

only indifference... for this person who do'nt care....

I endured suffering....suffering till now

even if I said ...dont have to do anything with you....still you drag me on....

 

I have loved you and have served you...but what ???????????

until this time....you have never stopped hurting me....

set me free God....I can't do it ...only you can.....Plsssssssssss.

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It really just mystifying, the other night ,you and me,all the more spent some quality time together, we just couldnt bare not to see each other a little time. You were embracing me and your face is close to my mine and we snuggled so close that we couldnt get enough of eachother. It was worth the wait, i cant wait till we kiss again,passionate as it is, just like heaven.

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If suddenly i stopped bothering you...just...forget about me...move on and

don't look back...

i should let you go...you don't deserve all these...

you don't have any need for all these...

you're better off without me...i knew that all along...I'm sorry...

i shouldn't have...i knew it would come to this...

don't it make you wonder how of all the men i knew...there was was only

three of you? only three... still i failed...

i guess i'll never learn. i guess i was meant to walk alone. Truly sorry.

SORRY FOR MYSELF MORE. Howell....

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to you who breaks my heart every time but still makes me smile,

 

thanks for your time. it's been so long since I got to talk with you. though I still have so many questions, I think it would be best for me if they were left unanswered. I would love to talk to you again soon but I'm not sure if that would be wise. I guess it depends on you now, as it what has always been...

 

still yours,

J

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Another leaf blown away by the breeze. Are you on your way? Soon is almost here...

I really need you right now.

 

The night whispered a secret in my ear, but I was asleep.

Won't you tell me what it is? Only you will know.

 

I'm having a tough time.

Waiting for you, still.

I actually began looking for you, for you might have lost your way.

 

I don't deserve this, you know...

Where are you?

 

I'm exhausted, Beloved... I am.

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How do I tell you this? Maybe I won't... And this will rot in here, but never delivered to you.

 

Love Actually. Afternoon in your pad during Chinese New Year... that favorite scene of mine went through my mind just now -- the part where the guy holds the placards by the door... the placards said "For now let me say, without hope or agenda, .... to me you are perfect, and my wasted heart will love you......"

 

And then I remember when out of the blue, months ago, I received an sms from you that said "You're perfect, you know that?"

 

There was also that part in the film that said that at Christmastime, you should be with the one you love. I remember you telling me, during that same time, you should be with me this Christmas (2007).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will miss you. I will be there... perhaps on Christmas.

 

 

 

But God knows, right now, I'm gonna go crazy, not knowing where I really am.

I am so hollow. Indescribably hollow.

I don't know how to tell you the things I want to say.

I don't know what to think, or what to do, to make sure I stay intact.

I'm afraid I just might fall apart.

 

Enough. Enough now.

Edited by chiquezee
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You are a f#&kin' freakin' fagot! You have the guts of a spring chicken. Bastard.

 

I am not gonna waste anymore time on you. You can go whenever you want.

 

One day you'll realize what you have lost and I will laugh at your sorry sight.

 

Right now, you are not worth the energy. You go to your other femmes.

 

Ptooey!

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