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Random Thoughts Thread


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a little baby is what i am like. i love to make other people around me

especially my loveones happy. i can ease your pain and sorrow. i can

reveal the deepest and the hottest part of you. i like taking risk

because for me it is a a very exciting way to learn new things and gain knowledge. like a baby i can make you smile at the end of a very tiring day.pamper me and comfort and i will give my heart to you.

 

About my Match

 

i know there is someone who will hold me and will whisper into my ears how much he cares. he is not afraid to tell me my mistakes and that i am wrong. he will tease me when i am crying and i will laugh and all the problems, pain and sadness are gone. a man who will be sitting with me in a couch with no talking and yet this is the very good conversation we have. a woman that will look into my eyes and all the passion unfolding and i know that you’re all i ever need. will you be the one who will capture my heart?

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Quite funny how the tide turns, i just couldn't imagine after five years of on and off thing you will be able to do such a thing. I never acted on my gut feel before but yesterday was an exception. My heart was beating so loudly that it was trying to tell me to go and see, look what's really happening. At first i hesitated, what if it turned out right, the pain and anguish again but then again i thought to myself atleast it'll be finally over. On one hand, just let it be, things left unsaid or not know are better than getting hurt. Betrayal perhaps would be the most bitter pill of them all.

 

With the dust clearing, i'm thinking, should i fight for something that the other person don't want anymore or not even sure of? Futile indeed. On one side, someone's whispering, let it go... but what if she's just confused... she said she ain't sure anymore but she said she still loves you... isn't worth the case of pursuing it again? Everything ended so abruptly, it could be an ending really written not giving a sequel to it. I say, there would be karma in any lifetime. It is just so difficult to shut off all the memories, the what could have beens... My mind's totally random at this point, mad at one point, begging at one time, indifferent, slowly going through kublher's stages of death... denial... anger... bargaining... acceptance in no particular order...

 

Perhaps today would seal the deal, tomorrow will forget the past.

 

Why... i thought you were different...

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