Need some inputs on a problem

[wildswans]

Hi guys, I like this girl very much and I don't know if I should be worried about what's happening right now but I am...very much.

 

I met this girl and was attracted by her simple beauty so I mustered the guts to get her number. We texted every day since then but the only problem is, until now, it took her so long to reply at least an hour pero ngayon mga 30mins or less. Ok naman mga replies niya because she tell stories, she shares what happened to her at work, and etc and she also ask about me so hinayaan ko nalang yung matagal niyang pag reply. I don't expect any text from her at work because she's busy but even when she's home ay matagal talaga magreply. By the way, we have a 16year age gap. She's in her early 20s.

 

Anyway, we texted for a month until I ask her out. She said yes but had to postpone several times until she told me "parang nabigla ako, hindi pa tayo magkakilala ay aalis na tayo". Eventually, she went out with me and she said she had a wonderful time at nagenjoy daw siya sa mga ginawa namin. I never thought I'd see her again because, she asked for my age and she thought I was just in my early 30s. Fortunately, I did see her again and we see each other once a week.

 

During the course of one month texting and barely a month of going out for a total of barely 2 months, nasasabi ko na sa kanya sa text that I care about her, that she's special, that she's beautiful to me, sweet nothing messages (not forwarded quotes) and I made her a poem pa which she like. On our 3rd date, I even told her, "kaya ko naman humarap rin sa magulang mo if needed dahil seryoso naman ako sa intentions ko at malinis. seryoso talaga ako sayo". So I was assuming that she knows that I really like her.

 

Now, during our 4th date, I have no intentions about telling her how I really feel about her kaya lang with the conversation that we were having, napunta ako dun and I told her, "alam mo, naattract talaga ako sa beauty mo sa umpisa pa lang pero di lang sa beauty mo kundi there's something else about u. Kasi kung dahil sa mere beauty lang I wouldn't have gotten your number coz I'd treat it as a ramdon beauty i see everyday. kaya lang there's something about u na di ko maexplain. Kaya kung magbibigyan ng chance ay ipprove ko nalang na special ka, that i care for you, that you're beautiful and more." tapos natawa siya sa "and more" sabay sabi ng "thanks/thank you" then we went to grab some ice cream for dessert. Nung nasa car kami, I even asked her kung galit ba siya sa sinabi ko, hindi daw. For the record, I never asked her how she feel about me coz I know it's still too early to ask. I was just expressing and I'm an expressive guy.

 

After that date, 2 female friends of mine told me that I shouldn't have told her my feelings like that coz maiilang yung girl. Syempre natakot ako and I noticed na medyo umiba si girl..naging medyo cold siya kasi nabawasan konti yung pagtetext niya. Nagpanic ako pero di ko pinaalam sa kanya at super nagsisi ako sa ginawa ko. I was just being honest lang naman and it's not like hinipuan ko siya or made an offensive statement. Nonetheless, super regret ako sobra.

 

I tried asking her out again, pero she turned me down instead suggested we go out the following week. So natuloy rin lakad namin and we spent a lot of time together for the 1st time because she has no OT at work. I was cautious about mga sasabihin ko and I could tell that she's enjoying that night. Nung pauwi kami at nasa car, she said she's going to text her mom. I didn't comment. Nung malapit na sa place niya, she told me her mom was not replying to her message kasi gusto daw ako makilala ng mom niya so she's texting her to let her parents know we're near. Unfortunately, hindi natuloy yung pagpapakilala and for the 1st time hindi rin siya nagtext sa akin after that date. I learned the following day that her parents were still awake kaya lang di daw napansin yung message and she also informed me na napagalitan daw siya dahil super late (11pm)na kami nakauwi. I apologized to her pero she said ok lang coz sabi ng parents niya next time hindi na pwede ganon ka-late. Kaya I just comment, agahan namin konti ng uwi next time and also said na, siguro kapag nakilala na ako ng parents mo ay baka mas mabawasan yung pag worry nila.

 

I thought everything is back to normal but unfortunately it's not. She declined my invitation again this week at next week nalang daw kami aalis. In short, imbes na maging every week ulit date namin para mas may chance ako dumiskarte and get close ay ginawa niyang every other week. I do not know the point of this that's why I like to hear you guy's opinion and advice. I really felt that this is due to my telling her of my feelings during our 4th date. Malamang nailang siya sa akin pero what I do not understand until now, bakit siya maiilang kung I was dropping some hints already from time to time before I even confesed. In short, alam na niyang may gusto ako sa kanya so anong difference pa yung pagtatapat ko in person para mailang pa siya at magbago? any ideas?

 

Eto pa ang problem ko, hindi ko alam kung ok lang sa kanya ang age gap namin. I would assume na ok lang sa KANYA pero feel ko nagaalangan siya sa sasabihin ng tao. I was thinking kasi, if she's bothered by my age and age gap ay malamang no more succeeding dates diba. Well, I know wala pa siyang binabanggit about our age gap so I never brought it up as well kasi baka naman ako yung magmukhang insecure sa age ko pero on 2nd thought, siguro di rin niya kayang ibrought up yung age gap issue kasi baka maoffend ako. Kaya i'm bothered also on whether to ask her or not and what's the use of it, if ever. I admit rin kaya ko naisip yang age gap ay dahil I saw in her FB wall a converstation she had with her 2 BFFs. She's bothered bout something and seeking help from bff and mukhang bout love/relationship issues. She's saying things like, "kung pwede lang ma experiment ang bagay na ito..." and in the end, "...malabo pananaw namin dito e.".

 

So what do you guys think about the situation? Bakit naging issue yung pagtapat ko sa kanya? Why do you think ginawa na niyang every other week lakad namin? Could it be iniisip niya kapag every week siya sumasama sa akin ay gusto na niya ako (pero bakit naman niya iisipin yun kung di naman ako nagtanong sa kanya kung gusto na ba niya ako)? or perhaps nabibilisan siya nangyayari kahit na I never asked her how she feels about me?

 

This is what I can think of right now, though I may be wrong, tingin ko sumasama siya sa akin because interested siya sa akin(NOT GUSTO) especially kilalanin at kahit nagtapat na ako ay hindi naman niya ako binasted, siguro dahil interested nga siya sa akin. But one thing is CERTAIN, wala pa siyang feelings sa akin dahil matagal siya magreply, ayaw niyang magpahatid pauwi from work, hindi niya ako sinasama pa sa mga lakad nilang mag pinsan at lagi apologize siya sa akin ng "sorry di kita mainvite" and ayaw niyang more than once kami lumabas in a week. Maybe she's conservative and she takes getting to know stage slowly. After all, sabi rin ng female friends ko, too early for anything pa. With regards to age, tingin ko kung siya masusunod ay ok lang sa kanya big gap otherwise di na niya siguro ako pinansin after 1st date pero siguro naiisip niya na may sasabihin mga tao especially mga friends and family niya. Again, I'm not sure kung may problema siya sa age gap namin I'm just bothered sa FB wall post niya at minsan nakukutuban ko lang though i'm paranoid minsan. Pero on our last date, nagbiro siya na malapit na bday ko at tumatanda na daw ako and I was so dumb that I said "young at heart naman ako e" instead of "age is just a number lang naman diba" tapos tingnan reaction niya. Hay stupid! stupid! stupid!

 

Do you guys think may effect age gap namin sa kanya even if she haven't mention anything bout it yet? Napaparanoid talaga ako sa once in 2 weeks na labas namin because I was thinking dapat nagiimprove ang situation or kahit maintain lang pero now, level down e.

[jregezi]

first of all relax.. I know the feeling of paranoia over a girl, it's something that you have to get over. Paranoia will cloud your judgement coz it also happened to me once.

 

Right now your thinking too much over the whole thing see how your telling your story and the facebook stalking (too much details).

Nasabi mo na yung feelings mo so ok na yun basta wag kang MAGEEXPECT. Lower your expectations just let her feel special and be there for her when it matters the most kahit hindi niya ibalik yung nararamdaman mo.

 

Broaden your view wag lang sa kanya you'll miss it on other things and if you really feel that you want to let her know how you feel. WRITE it, make a love letter instead of texting.

 

Bout the age gap thing..wag mo masyado isipin yun. totoo yung saying age doesn't matter.

 

ayun relax bro. you'll make it through

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[StoicVampire]

You're thinking too much bro and yes, a bit paranoid if we may say. Stop thinking about it too much. Everything has its proper place and time. The most important thing is that you've already told her about your feelings. How she responds though is none of your concern. It's too early to say or conclude anything. Have the time to know each other very well. That's one of the aspects when entering into a relationship. Don't bee too conscious on how others will react coz its none of your business. It's your relationship, not theirs. Whatever happens, nasa inyong dalawa pa rin on how will make that relationship work.

 

Social media is very superficial. Yeah we use this to communicate with someone, say whatever we wanted to say and let everybody know. Remove it or better refrain from relying on it too much. Talk with her. Spend more time knowing each other. Texting is a form of communication but talking with her personally will bring both of you closer to each other.

 

Just let time do his thing. If you really love the girl, stay in love. Stay true to your emotions if you want the relationship to work. Good luck bro!

[winfliz]

sa akin lang brad, tnungin m yung girl kung may pagasa k b sa kanya, feeling b nya may future kau dalawa, straight to d point, wag paikot ikot nakakahilo. at gusto ng babae yung agressive ndi submissive. kasi madalas pag bantayin ng magulang nasa loob kulo nyan, nagiging tatay ka ata at ikaw p ang ilang bka masulot k dyan pare. ilan date na wla pang first base. hawakan mo kamay ,kunwari ilakad mo sabay hablot ng kamay papalag yan pag sbra ,pakawalan mo pagpaarte wag, try mo muna to. at alamin mo kung ang bagal nya magreply sos torpe ka ata e babatukan kita e

[winfliz]

wag ka dn maniniwala sa iba, ikaw masnakaalam ng sitwasyon.wag torpe potang ina pagmay kumantot na dyan e sorry k nlng. banat boy

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[ladyboy]

maniwala ka sa iba babala na yun wag maging tanga

[LordJaden]

follow mo lang advice ni jregezi, you'll never go wrong. lighten up, dont dwell too much about it. kung gusto ka nyan gagawa rin ng paraan yan to let you know. and besides, pag lagi ka nakabuntot or text ng text she might feel threatened, parang stalker ang dating mo sa kanya. magpamiss ka din paminsan minsan.

 

bottomline, be cool.

[fingle_fin]

ang sakin lang bro there are lots of fish in the sea, if it seems like nothings gonna happen between the two of you then go find someone who will appreciate your kind of sensitivity or whatever it is your doing with this girl, i'm sure theres someone out there who wants to be with a guy like you, why settle for someone who just treats you like a bestfriend? but dont take my word for it, tama yung sabi nung iba dont dwell too much on worrying.

[ricardo23]

Simple , you werent a challenge for her , u confessed ur feeling to early , nawala excitment and mystery dahsil sa early confession

[Doctor Ace]

Simple , you werent a challenge for her , u confessed ur feeling to early , nawala excitment and mystery dahsil sa early confession

+1!

[AE86]

I think you should've shown your intent through actions only sa start. Yung verbal confession of feelings, medyo latter part na yan, pag nafeel mo nang nagiging mutual yung care, respect and other feelings (love).

 

If you were a salesman, you wouldn't ask your client right away if he's willing to sign the deal, right?

[wildswans]

Thanks guys. Mali nga nagawa ako at pinagsisisihan ko talaga sobra. Dahil lang sa pagtatapat na wala naman sa plano ay parang kagaya ng pag chachansing sa kanya yung hatol. I know hindi pa end of the world because she still talks to me and we still go out kaya lang nanghihinayang ako kasi imbes na once a week pa rin labas namin ay nagiging once in two weeks na. Imbes na more chances to see her ay nabawasan tuloy kaya can't help na magalala at maparanoid minsan e. i keep hoping na sana manumbalik ulit yung once a week namin pero di ko lam when.

 

Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit rin niya binawasan pagkikita namin dahil sa pagtatapat ko pero ang logical reason na naiisip ko ay, siguro nabibilisan siya sa nangyari kaya niya binawasan yung pagkikita OR siguro iniisip niya baka magbigay ng wrong signal sa akin kung every week kaming nagkikita. Other than that hindi ko na alam. Sorry guys for analyzing too much pero gusto ko kasi manumbalik muli yung dati e and i dont know what i should do. Medyo lay low nga ako ngaun sa mga sweet nothings na messages e.

[Little John]

There's nothing wrong of telling the girl you like her from the very start. It is actually beneficial on your part because she knows your intentions first hand and she can end it there if she doesn't like you. If I really like a girl I'd ask her "kung pwede ko sya ligawan" so she knows my intention and she can refuse or turn me down from the beginning if she's not interested. The mere fact that she still goes out with you despite confessing your feelings show she likes something about you. Just keep it up bro and you'll do fine. However, I find that "every other week" dates of yours very unusual. I think you need to investigate further the reason why she can only go out with you twice in a month. What is she doing on her free time? Is she seeing anyone else than you?