What Comes To Mind When Your Gf Is Not A Virgin?

[jgc813]

 

out of curiosity,

 

if men feel hurt because of the fact that the GF is not a virgin and they also have a hard time accepting the past, then, has anyone ever thought of the fact that some ladies would feel the same?

 

is it because of double standards that it is harder to accept women who had her eyes opened to sexuality long before you came into her life? and that it's easier to accept men who have the same experience, just because of the simple excuse, "they're men, it's natural"?

 

i'm just really wondering...

 

I guess the issue here is not so much being "hurt," but more of a wondering. (I think "hurt" in this regard was a term used ages ago.)

 

Nowadays, virginity for women (much more for men) is something which not longer assumed and presumed especially if she has had relationships already.

 

And, yes, probably women may also wonder about their significant others' past relationships with questions similar to what I have asked.

 

While, for most, the above may be due to differences of standards, I really would like to believe that before that, there is such a thing as differences of psychology.

[superfunkibey]

Never cared about virginity. I had one encounter before and the baggage was too much, all that "you're the first, don't leave me" and "marry me" crap. Plus the guilt trip they pile on you when you decide to leave them.

[sikreto lang]

i think it's not a big issue nowadays..we should realize that women are also human being..they tend to get really in love and when they're in-love such things happen! even us men, we sometimes do crazy things out of love!

[Queen Darkeinjel]

I guess the issue here is not so much being "hurt," but more of a wondering. (I think "hurt" in this regard was a term used ages ago.)

 

Nowadays, virginity for women (much more for men) is something which not longer assumed and presumed especially if she has had relationships already.

 

And, yes, probably women may also wonder about their significant others' past relationships with questions similar to what I have asked.

 

While, for most, the above may be due to differences of standards, I really would like to believe that before that, there is such a thing as differences of psychology.

 

Every person has his/her own psyche.

 

There are women who would be very honest about their past, just like there are men who can open up like a book waiting to be read.

 

There are those who trust little by little and start opening up, similar to stories in comic books, they open up the story chapter by chapter.

 

Then as for the wondering and fantasizing: some may do others may not. I guess one of the key factors that we can put in the equation would be the level of maturity of both partners (emotionally, psychologically and mentally). Generally speaking though, a woman gives all her attention to her present lover, whether it be in bed or out of it.

 

As for those who do not talk about their previous lovers, one of the many causes of this is the pain experienced by the woman (which could be emotionally, psychologically and even physically, hence the reason for blocking the memories). Others just don't feel comfortable talking about the past.

 

And unfortunately some of the standards set by the "norms" of society also influece either sex's point of views. Women should exercise prudence when it comes to their sexuality, hence many do not talk about it, especially to someone of the opposite sex, while it is accepted that men are more "adventurous", hence it would be acceptable if they talk about that part of their lives.

[metalhead109]

it doesn't matter as long as we love each other

and she give me proper respect

 

what's disturbing is when they say their still virgin

and later on you've found out that she's not

[starslayer13]

Ok lang. There are times where NOT being the first has some advantages.

[ricardo23]

mapapaisip ka kung anung sino nakauna sayo, medyo mahirap ipicture

[jgc813]

I just came to realize this. We're talking about GF here so it is presumed there is a relationship.

 

The thought which entered my mind is much deeper. The issue is not just "not being a virgin," but "having several failed relationships." If she already had several (as my recent ex had), what would be the chance you (the present) will soon become an ex of hers?

 

I remembered what I read several years back in the book written by Nancy Van Pelt, "The Complete Courtship." She mentioned somewhere there something to this effect: "be wary of people who has had several (mind the operative word) past failed relationships. The chances your present relationship will fail is also high."

 

She did not say yours will not succeed. She just hinted that there is a high chance yours will also fail.

 

I just remembered what my recent ex used to tell me. She admitted that she was the cause of all her past failed relationships. (She has had very much more than me.) Of course, I assured her that was the past. We should try to make this present one work.

 

She spoke prophetically. In just six months of being abroad, she dumped me for someone else with no real negative reason against me except that "she had fallen in love with someone else." (We were doing very well for the past 1.5 years. In fact, I was her first that went past the one year mark.)

 

Hence, the issue to be considered should be more of "what comes into your mind if your GF has had several past relationships that failed?" more than "...if your GF is not a virgin?"

Edited February 14, 2011 by jgc813

[friendly0603]

I guess these questions come to mind:

how do you know when she's faking?

how do you know that you're the best she had?

Is the love enough to prevent her from finding someone who's better in the sack?

[jgc813]

I guess these questions come to mind:

how do you know when she's faking?

how do you know that you're the best she had?

Is the love enough to prevent her from finding someone who's better in the sack?

 

From the research of Masters and Johnsons, the answer to the above are all:

 

YOU CAN'T.

 

No matter how much of an expert you claim to be, you would never know when a woman is faking. And that's true for any man.

 

Likewise, you wouldn't know if "you're the best," and "if your love will prevent her from finding someone else."

 

You just can't. Only the woman can say, and only the woman can determine.

 

 

 

Edited February 15, 2011 by jgc813

[friendly0603]

From the research of Masters and Johnsons, the answer to the above are all:

 

YOU CAN'T.

 

No matter how much of an expert you claim to be, you would never know when a woman is faking. And that's true for any man.

 

Likewise, you wouldn't know if "you're the best," and "if your love will prevent her from finding someone else."

 

You just can't. Only the woman can say, and only the woman can determine.

The answers are direct if she is a virgin

and you are the best she had by default.

[cigaro]

that you are not the first one? it doesn't matter to me as long as i love her and vice versa

[shawnlemon]

To be honest guys, I had dozen of girls that i destroyed way back in high school and in college. I lost my virginity when I was in grade six to a 4TH year highschool girl.

 

I married the girl who is not a virgin anymore, but I accepted her because of love and trust. And now we are in our 15th years of happy and a loving family. Trust is important, respect one another, love her for what she is and what she will become. Never under estimate her and always feel she is secured in your self and love.

 

Now virginity is not the reason for you not to love your future gf. Its only a trial for you and your gf to prolong your future and obstacle to come in your relationship. Now I advice you guys to love your gf respect her and make her feel like a queen. Then happiness will just overflow in your relationship. Thanks and goodluck.

[PartPastTime]

For me, nothing really. I fell in love with the girl, her totality and not because she is a vergin or not.

[Aey.Sean]

at first, it was really a big deal and an issue for me, but as i go on with my relationships, i find it less necessary to the point that i just don't care