wildswans

Hi guys, I like this girl very much and I don't know if I should be worried about what's happening right now but I am...very much. I met this girl and was attracted by her simple beauty so I mustered the guts to get her number. We texted every day since then but the only problem is, until now, it took her so long to reply at least an hour pero ngayon mga 30mins or less. Ok naman mga replies niya because she tell stories, she shares what happened to her at work, and etc and she also ask about me so hinayaan ko nalang yung matagal niyang pag reply. I don't expect any text from her at work because she's busy but even when she's home ay matagal talaga magreply. By the way, we have a 16year age gap. She's in her early 20s. Anyway, we texted for a month until I ask her out. She said yes but had to postpone several times until she told me "parang nabigla ako, hindi pa tayo magkakilala ay aalis na tayo". Eventually, she went out with me and she said she had a wonderful time at nagenjoy daw siya sa mga ginawa namin. I never thought I'd see her again because, she asked for my age and she thought I was just in my early 30s. Fortunately, I did see her again and we see each other once a week. During the course of one month texting and barely a month of going out for a total of barely 2 months, nasasabi ko na sa kanya sa text that I care about her, that she's special, that she's beautiful to me, sweet nothing messages (not forwarded quotes) and I made her a poem pa which she like. On our 3rd date, I even told her, "kaya ko naman humarap rin sa magulang mo if needed dahil seryoso naman ako sa intentions ko at malinis. seryoso talaga ako sayo". So I was assuming that she knows that I really like her. Now, during our 4th date, I have no intentions about telling her how I really feel about her kaya lang with the conversation that we were having, napunta ako dun and I told her, "alam mo, naattract talaga ako sa beauty mo sa umpisa pa lang pero di lang sa beauty mo kundi there's something else about u. Kasi kung dahil sa mere beauty lang I wouldn't have gotten your number coz I'd treat it as a ramdon beauty i see everyday. kaya lang there's something about u na di ko maexplain. Kaya kung magbibigyan ng chance ay ipprove ko nalang na special ka, that i care for you, that you're beautiful and more." tapos natawa siya sa "and more" sabay sabi ng "thanks/thank you" then we went to grab some ice cream for dessert. Nung nasa car kami, I even asked her kung galit ba siya sa sinabi ko, hindi daw. For the record, I never asked her how she feel about me coz I know it's still too early to ask. I was just expressing and I'm an expressive guy. After that date, 2 female friends of mine told me that I shouldn't have told her my feelings like that coz maiilang yung girl. Syempre natakot ako and I noticed na medyo umiba si girl..naging medyo cold siya kasi nabawasan konti yung pagtetext niya. Nagpanic ako pero di ko pinaalam sa kanya at super nagsisi ako sa ginawa ko. I was just being honest lang naman and it's not like hinipuan ko siya or made an offensive statement. Nonetheless, super regret ako sobra. I tried asking her out again, pero she turned me down instead suggested we go out the following week. So natuloy rin lakad namin and we spent a lot of time together for the 1st time because she has no OT at work. I was cautious about mga sasabihin ko and I could tell that she's enjoying that night. Nung pauwi kami at nasa car, she said she's going to text her mom. I didn't comment. Nung malapit na sa place niya, she told me her mom was not replying to her message kasi gusto daw ako makilala ng mom niya so she's texting her to let her parents know we're near. Unfortunately, hindi natuloy yung pagpapakilala and for the 1st time hindi rin siya nagtext sa akin after that date. I learned the following day that her parents were still awake kaya lang di daw napansin yung message and she also informed me na napagalitan daw siya dahil super late (11pm)na kami nakauwi. I apologized to her pero she said ok lang coz sabi ng parents niya next time hindi na pwede ganon ka-late. Kaya I just comment, agahan namin konti ng uwi next time and also said na, siguro kapag nakilala na ako ng parents mo ay baka mas mabawasan yung pag worry nila. I thought everything is back to normal but unfortunately it's not. She declined my invitation again this week at next week nalang daw kami aalis. In short, imbes na maging every week ulit date namin para mas may chance ako dumiskarte and get close ay ginawa niyang every other week. I do not know the point of this that's why I like to hear you guy's opinion and advice. I really felt that this is due to my telling her of my feelings during our 4th date. Malamang nailang siya sa akin pero what I do not understand until now, bakit siya maiilang kung I was dropping some hints already from time to time before I even confesed. In short, alam na niyang may gusto ako sa kanya so anong difference pa yung pagtatapat ko in person para mailang pa siya at magbago? any ideas? Eto pa ang problem ko, hindi ko alam kung ok lang sa kanya ang age gap namin. I would assume na ok lang sa KANYA pero feel ko nagaalangan siya sa sasabihin ng tao. I was thinking kasi, if she's bothered by my age and age gap ay malamang no more succeeding dates diba. Well, I know wala pa siyang binabanggit about our age gap so I never brought it up as well kasi baka naman ako yung magmukhang insecure sa age ko pero on 2nd thought, siguro di rin niya kayang ibrought up yung age gap issue kasi baka maoffend ako. Kaya i'm bothered also on whether to ask her or not and what's the use of it, if ever. I admit rin kaya ko naisip yang age gap ay dahil I saw in her FB wall a converstation she had with her 2 BFFs. She's bothered bout something and seeking help from bff and mukhang bout love/relationship issues. She's saying things like, "kung pwede lang ma experiment ang bagay na ito..." and in the end, "...malabo pananaw namin dito e.". So what do you guys think about the situation? Bakit naging issue yung pagtapat ko sa kanya? Why do you think ginawa na niyang every other week lakad namin? Could it be iniisip niya kapag every week siya sumasama sa akin ay gusto na niya ako (pero bakit naman niya iisipin yun kung di naman ako nagtanong sa kanya kung gusto na ba niya ako)? or perhaps nabibilisan siya nangyayari kahit na I never asked her how she feels about me? This is what I can think of right now, though I may be wrong, tingin ko sumasama siya sa akin because interested siya sa akin(NOT GUSTO) especially kilalanin at kahit nagtapat na ako ay hindi naman niya ako binasted, siguro dahil interested nga siya sa akin. But one thing is CERTAIN, wala pa siyang feelings sa akin dahil matagal siya magreply, ayaw niyang magpahatid pauwi from work, hindi niya ako sinasama pa sa mga lakad nilang mag pinsan at lagi apologize siya sa akin ng "sorry di kita mainvite" and ayaw niyang more than once kami lumabas in a week. Maybe she's conservative and she takes getting to know stage slowly. After all, sabi rin ng female friends ko, too early for anything pa. With regards to age, tingin ko kung siya masusunod ay ok lang sa kanya big gap otherwise di na niya siguro ako pinansin after 1st date pero siguro naiisip niya na may sasabihin mga tao especially mga friends and family niya. Again, I'm not sure kung may problema siya sa age gap namin I'm just bothered sa FB wall post niya at minsan nakukutuban ko lang though i'm paranoid minsan. Pero on our last date, nagbiro siya na malapit na bday ko at tumatanda na daw ako and I was so dumb that I said "young at heart naman ako e" instead of "age is just a number lang naman diba" tapos tingnan reaction niya. Hay stupid! stupid! stupid! Do you guys think may effect age gap namin sa kanya even if she haven't mention anything bout it yet? Napaparanoid talaga ako sa once in 2 weeks na labas namin because I was thinking dapat nagiimprove ang situation or kahit maintain lang pero now, level down e.

I met my GF from MIRC and we would text each other occasionally. I would stayed up til the wee hours of the morning keeping her company thru text while she studies. She was happy with what I’m doing coz she said it’s been years since a guy did this to her. After a few weeks of texting, she said she likes me although she hasn’t seen me yet. We finally met and went out a few times after that she started falling for me and vice versa until it became us. We have an 11 years age gap and she said her parents are very strict to the point that they would lock her up in a room if they find out she was entertaining suitors secretly like what happened before. Her parents are traditional and don’t want a suitor nor BF from online chats. My GF likes to chat and I saw it in her email sent folder that she sends her pic to various guys but since the date was before we met, I just let it be. During the courtship, she would tell me that she’s not yet over her ex completely although she was the one who broke up with him. During the relationship, she would still, sometimes, mention her ex although she would apologize for doing so. She said she would sometimes find herself crying whenever she thinks of her ex, siguro dahil tinago niya yung hurt at walang nasabihan...according to her. More than a week after we had the relationship, she broked up with me saying she’s not happy anymore and other nonsense reason, she mentioned about our age gap and was afraid what people might think and problems with her parents about how we met. I beg her to stay but to no avail. After a day, she texted me that she feels sad without me so naging kami ulit. During our 1st month, I noticed that she’s not that into me yet. There were no bday card nor present for me and no monthsary gift nor card. I thought it might be normal since the relationship is still new. Few days after our 1st month, she confessed that she was having 2nd thoughts about continuing the relationship coz of what people might think about our age gap that’s why she’s not that into me daw. She thinks things over and realized that her happiness was more important so she decided to continue the relationship. She would tell me that she met the relatives of her ex on two occasions and she also told me that sometimes her ex would text her and sometimes ask her out but she didn’t obliged daw. After that, things went great for a few weeks until she became busy with school coz of the coming finals. So I had to understand if she’s not that into me coz of being busy. Few weeks after our 2nd month, I was shocked to find out she had a secret friendster account that she kept from me. On that account, I would guess were people really close to her while the one I know were for people she met from online chatrooms. What’s more shocking was the primary pic. The pic was with her ex embracing her and the date she placed on the caption of that pic was dated 2 weeks after it became us. In short, she met up with her ex without my knowledge and I’m not sure if they’re still seeing each other until now and if they still communicate thru text. I didn’t confront my gf regarding that coz I’m saving it for other occasions. Tsaka I’m afraid to tell her that I found out about her secret friendster account while looking at the messages in her sent folder. I don’t want her to use that against me para ako magmukhang may kasalanan kung magbreak kami and most of all I still love her. another thing ay pwede niyang sabihin past na yun, coz it happened during the first month where she confessed she's not that into me. but still she lied diba. The first Saturday after her finals, she didn’t text me for so long, negative thoughts started to cloud my mind. It turns out she left her cellphone so I just let it be kahit na walang effort in her part to borrow her sister’s cp and letting me know man lang. The 2nd Saturday, she didn’t even text me for practically the whole day again. The next day, she said she can’t send any text messages nor make a call coz of network error and she apologized. I just told her na sana man lang she made an effort to borrow her sister’s cp to let me know what’s going on coz I was worried about her. She apologized again and I just let it be. I then asked where she went that day and I got the surprised of my life when she texted back that she wants to break up with me already. She said she wants us to be just friends coz she’s too afraid of her parents and cannot be proud of me like I am for her…that she can’t risk it all for me even if she really loves me. She said it’s better this way para sarili lang niya iintindihin niya. She said that I deserve someone better and she don’t want to hurt me anymore coz I’ve been very good to her. I was so hurt that I didn’t even thought of begging her to stay anymore and so I just let her go. After that, she kept texting me that she still loves me but haven’t been a good gf. She has to go coz she doesn’t want to hurt as nice guy like me anymore and so on. It is at this point where I took the opportunity to tell her my concern about her not being into me like, not calling me, we didn’t get to talk on the phone that much, binabalewala ako minsan especially if she can’t text, di niya nagagawa sa akin mga nagagawa niya sa ex niya and etc. Two days passed she’s still texting me and telling me she loves me. She kept saying she misses me and feels incomplete without me..that she feels miserable breaking up with me and that’s how she realized she loves me after all. I was so hurt that I didn’t realize she wants me back from what she’s texting me. She has pride to tell it to me straight that she wants me back. She cried for 2 days daw coz she thought I was gone for good na coz I let her go so easily this time. After she gave more clues that she wants me back, I told her I want her back also. Kaya lang, since may hinanakit daw ako sa kanya (yung complain ko na she’s not into me) she told me we are better off as friends muna until she sorts out her problems sa side niya and she needs time and effort daw. gusto niya kasi the 2nd time around na maging kami, ay fair na sa akin at hindi na maging one sided yung relationship at magawa na niya mga nagagawa niya sa ex niya and even more. She didn’t mentioned about her ex as part of the problem pero kutob ko part of it yun. She just said that her fear for her parents is the one affecting her to be sweet to me. Sometimes she can separate the fear from being sweet but usually can’t, pati paglabas namin laging patago at hindi man lang niya ako mapakilala sa magulang niya. May nakakita na sa amin at sinumbong sa mom niya, when her mom asked her hindi man lang niya masabing bf kahit na nandiyan yung opportunity she just said classmate at nakasalubong lang niya. She don’t have the courage daw. She asked me to date others baka mas masaya ako dun, I told her ayaw ko at gusto ko siya. I asked her to tell me directly if the problem will be fix and I’ll wait, if not then just break up nalang. She told me it would be much better if I could wait for her kasi maaayos pa yung problem. She can fix the problem while kami pa rin pero it would take time and effort, baka umangal na naman daw ako kapag nababalewala niya ako. I told her I’m not comfortable as being friends, kung friends lang wag nalang. I told her since she said maaayos pa yung problem then why not kami pa rin pero parang cool off nalang but we will still see each other like before and talk parin, pumayag naman siya although deep inside ayaw ko ng cool off, i just have to say that para maging kami parin coz i'm not comfortable sa friends setup. After the breakup, we met up and made love like we usually do as if nothing happened pero when I asked her kung normal na ulit kami she said mas ok kapag cool off stage nalang para less pressure on her side, I asked what she means, mahirap daw iexplain kaya hindi na ako nangulit pa. We would still meet pa naman, and we still greet each other sa monthsary. I’m very confused as to where this relationship is heading. All I know is hindi siya sure sa akin, dahil ayaw niya magpapicture kami sa studio, she doesn’t introduced me to at least her sister whom she’s very close to and can keep a secret, she still hasn’t told me about her secret friendster account, the primary pic of she and her ex embracing her is still there with “married” status. One more thing, I also saw the friendster of her ex and both of them have the same primary pic. I can’t look more into it coz it’s locked to closely connected members only. I don’t know if her parent’s is really that strict or she’s using that to delay the introduction part coz she’s still considering her ex or baka naman her ex is actually her bf right now and I’m just a mean time guy habang my problem relationship nila kaya hindi niya ako maharap sa magulang. Or she loves me but is still afraid of what people might thing of our huge age gap. - What do you guys think? Is this about the ex, age gap, she’s a player coz she likes to chat minsan she doesn't let me know that she's chatting maybe coz she knows super seloso ako o may ginagawa lang siya kalokohan, or case of parents too strict? Can you say she really loves me? I hope she’s not a player coz wala sa itsura niya and she has a good reputation in school coz masipag magaral but looks can be deceiving as they say. Any advice or suggestions? - Mali ba ako na sinabi ko sa kanya yung concern ko sa relationship like she’s not into me at nagiging one sided yung relationship? Or tama lang since serious relationship naman ito? - Does the cool off make any sense at all? For me parang walang sense, since she said she really loves me then why not fix the problem ASAP rather than isipin niya na baka umangal ulit ako.