harveyspecter

Just came off the heels from a relationship with a therapist. I want to vent out but unfortunately walang "fallen for a therapist" thread haha kaya dito na lang.

 

Para on topic, I think its just natural to fall for a therapist. Debate all you want, pero sa linya at bisyo na ganito this is very much a common occurence. Anuman yung dahilan mo, I'm here to validate that and tell you that its perfectly normal.

 

But before you invest more time and effort kay theralabs, remember that a serious relationship always involves both heart and mind. Saktong balanse ng emotions and logic.

 

If you are in this situation right now, let me share with you the three important things I learned to give you a sort of checklist to think about. Right now most probably solid na yung emotions part, lets work on the logic part.

 

1. A relationship with a therapist must be built on TRUST.

Tiwala. Hindi chemistry. Hindi awa. Hindi physical attraction. Lalo na hindi sa libog haha. Kung tutuusin, all romantic relationships should be bulit on trust. Pero kung plano mo talaga seryosohin si theraloves, siguraduhin mo sa sarili mo na kaya mo siyang pagkatiwalaan ng buong-buo at kaya rin niyang gawin yun sayo. Lahat ng sasabihin niya hindi ka magdadalawang-isip. Kapag tahimik siya hindi mo pag-iisipan ng masama kung anuman ang ginagawa niya. Kailangan ito dahil sa important thing #2..

 

2. Accept that your girl works, lives, and breathes in an environment full of FAKES and LIES.

Si thera-loves ay isang sex worker. Her work asks her to be very intimate with other men and she creates a false version of intimacy to fulfill the requirements. Let's not fool ourselves - you and her customers get to experience that same intimacy. A client will not pay good money if he did not feel that she was his girlfriend or personal pornstar for an hour or two. She also creates false versions of herself in public, with co-therapists, and with people close to her who do not know what she does for a living. Magagawa mo lang to kung alam mo ang totoong dahilan kung bakit siya napunta sa ganitong trabaho - not the crap she tells everyone else. Knowing this will help you fully accept this fact. Try to work it out and draw that fine line and create a space wherein hindi na niya kailangan magpanggap at magsinungaling.

 

3. If anyone breaks the other's trust, LEAVE.

If by any reason ikaw or si theraloves broke a promise, nagsinungaling, or does anything na makakasira ng tiwala. Time to call it quits and end the relationship. If you or si theraloves crosses over that fine line, wala nang pagkakaiba yung relationship ninyo at yung relationship niya sa mga cliente niya. Yung tiwala will be the differentiator - what makes you special and unique. Not the night outs, not the livewire sex, not the money and the gifts. Each person will have different gauges kung kailan niya masasabi na wala na yung tiwala niya. Ang importante ay itigil na yung relasyon ninyo kung may isang nawalan na ng tiwala kasi everything will only go downhill.

 

To conclude, you can fall for a therapist but as long as she is in this line of work a functional romantic relationship will not prosper. It will only cause more pain and sadness rather than joy and happiness. Getting theraloves out of this business is actually easy as long as she whole-heartedly wants to. I think that time would be the best time to pursue the relationship.

Very well said sir Afterman. I believe that Trust is the core/main structure in any relationship, more so in a GM-thera relationship.

Once broken, no amount of money can repair the damage done.

Short hair, glasses and braces.

Hahah.. Real talk? Hahahha...

Well to be fair kay boss harvey having an allergic effect on something is agonizing.. If it will come to death it may bea painful and agonizing. Not the the strong suit of depressed suicidal... Gusto nila ung mabilisan tapos na..

 

But if you have the witts not to pay her or. Ubusin ung kabuhayam mo, id have to say kaya mo yan depression mo. I mean you and your family is definitely well to do since you are as you say successful, not to mention you have the luxuiary to drive far and fast (sa mahal ng gasolina I dont even want to step on the gas and every chance I get I free wheel). So kung marami kang pera and you only want to spend it on important things in your life, it suggests you are thinking of your future... So isip mo lang yan. Dont worry about it. But if rejection is your breaking point I suggest you stay away from these industries. She may love you to the heavens but really its all about the money. Someone will come along with more money and there is always that chance she will leave you or lokohin ka nya. I suggest join car enthusiast group. Madami.chicks up for grab. Id refer you to a group but I am discreet hahahh.. Pero sa car groups ka nlng mag hunting not here bro.

To your point, yes it's true. I mean if we're talking about suicide, better it to be a fast and painless death than a slow agonizing one.

Anyway, I'm not super rich naman, like Henry Sy. I'm just earning a salary that's more than enough for my needs and the extra goes into Espa's.

Okay back to the topic, I agree and it's true that, in the end, it's all about the money. And it's my fault din naman why this happened in the first place kasi.

She was different kasi from the thera's I had before her ( I have very specific preferences/picky kasi when it comes to women). She was very smart, maybe the only who can match me in intellect and in conversations. In short she was my dream girl, she was everything I wanted. That's why I fell in love with her.

But I'm fine now, I've come to accept that she's just something I can never have. And I just wish her the best in her life.

P.S: I'm in a car group ng mga Toyota Innova's kaso problem is puro guys/tanders kami dun eh, walang chicks hehe

 

 

Bro harveyspecter, I hope you don't succumb to your depression... Always know that there are people in your life who are there for you (your family). You may be socially awkward, but I think you can and will meet friends either at work or by means of your pastimes (other than going to ESpa). Hehe even though we have not met and may not even meet (because we are all ninjas GMs here hehe) I think even just in MTC we can be acquaintances...I am still hoping/rooting for you to have a happy ending for falling for your thera (hehe pun intended

Thank you, bro Solaryan. I would really like to thank people like you who give me hope and strength to carry on everyday.

And about her, I don't think there's ever going to be a happy ending between us.

But that's okay, that's life eh. We all have to wake up and face reality sooner or later.

brotha, lets drown your sorrow with liquor

Thanks for consoling me brother, but I can't drink liquor (I have severe allergic reactions to it) nor do I smoke.

What I do to drown my sorrows is just to have a really long and fast drive to somewhere/anywhere. The destination doesn't matter.

The Perfect Drug: Nine Inch Nails

Same here. my favorite ones are Hurt, Fragile and Something I can never have.

So youre depressed way before you met the thera???

 

I dont think its healthy for you to be involved with these types of girls.

Yes, it's more of a general depression. Since I'm having a lot of problems on my own (work, family etc.).

I know it's not healthy but I really don't have any outlet to release/talk my stress on, other than going for theras. I don't have any friends as I'm not very sociable/socially awkward (I'm an extreme introvert).

 

I see. What worries me is that having "the talk" and it not going the way you want might push you off the edge so hopefully you've already discussed these matters with your thera (psych)

 

Once you're doing better, hopefully you can share the mind thera's professional opinion on falling for a thera (flesh), no details of course

 

May things turn out for the best for both of you

I actually haven't talked to my professional thera about this yet. I stopped seeing her for about a year now since I was okay back then. I don't know where she is now.

Anyway, don't worry about me. I've dealt with/lived with depression for a long time and it's normal for me to have these dark stages in my life.

I've have already expected what's going to happen on "the talk" so that I don't expect the optimistic outcome to happen and hurt myself too much.

I just want to have closure on this and move on with our lives.

 

regarding your last sentence on depression and suicide, have you sought professional help from the other kind of therapist? falling in love complicates your situation and having "the talk" seems risky, even more so given that the lady is involved in the pleasure industry. just like with love in any other situation, di ka makaka move on agad and unhealthy thoughts are likely to surface. though there are some helpful comments here, iba pa rin kapag professional ang kausap mo and at least malabo naman na may mangtroll sayo. your life is on the line as well, given your depression and suicidal thoughts

 

on another note, may nakuwento sa akin ang isa kong naging thera na may kabarkada siyang ex-thera na kinasal sa GM, so it's not impossible for falling for a thera to blossom into marriage

 

no personal experience (yet?) with falling for a thera though. like my bio says, i'm just having fun maybe till i meet the one hahahh

I have several times, I've already been diagnosed with Clinical depression. I don't want to take meds for it.

I can only say that living with depression is a constant daily struggle with my sanity. To keep myself from falling off the edge.

Depressed with constant thoughts of suicide haunting me.

Paradise Circus by Massive Attack.

Maybe I'm very stupid or delusional to think that by being a noble, honest and nice/caring GM would win a thera's heart in an industry filled with lust, greed and lies.

Knowing/hearing the truth broke and shattered me into pieces. But, knowing that she doesn't care for me. I still care for her and cling to the hope that I can still reach and talk some sense into her for the last/final time.

Tomorrow will be the end. I started this mistake and it's my responsibility for all of this mess I made.

Sometimes self sacrifices are necessary to protect the one you love/care, even if it means destroying myself in the process.

I've never found a song and lyrics that is so fitting to describe us GM's falling in love with a thera.

"Love is like a sin, my love

For the ones that feel it the most

Look at her with her eyes like a flame

She will love you, like a fly will never love you again"

 

Read your story here and I'm in the same boat.

 

All the best sir.

Thank you sir, same here. I hope and pray we succeed in this endeavor. It's a tough battle ahead for both of us.

2017 Honda Civic Type R. Grabe, it's such a beast to see it in action.

A okey, I got it.. Wala naman. Palang financial investment ang inyong kasunduan... Emotional lang.. Well I am telling you now sir that wont be a problem. Heheheh... I mean what you are feeling, what you are doing it could get worst hahahahah... Meron nga diyan naubos ang kaban ng bayan na broken hearted pa... Hahaha.... Kaya if you feel. Sad you just have to think of the many GMs here in MTC and outside MTCs na naubos na ang kaperahan wala pang napala sa thera loves nila. What your feeling is just minor. I am sure may makita kang mas maganda mas matalino youd forget her no problem.

That's true. I mean even though I am falling for her, I still have my rational/logic brain intact pa naman. That's why I'm planning to have a serious discussion with her soon on what she wants with me. I don't want to financially/emotionally invest myself anymore if she doesn't want to.

 

May the odds be in your favor even if the whole world is against it.

Thank you KornoKid, this will be the final test for me, after this. I'm done. I'm tired.

Aaaaa.... Well if its save you want... Kailangan kang makialam. You have to be the one to enroll her, you have to be the one to make sure she goes to school.. Lalo na sabi mo she is lost... Ung iba kasi wala lang talaga magawa kasi kailangan nilang kumita ng pera. May ibang tulad ng thera loves mo na "lost". I tell you if she is lost, and she does not feel anything for you.. Kahit pang ateneo ang ibigay mong tuition sa kanya it will all be for nothing. Baka gastusin lang nya yun. So if save you want your help should actually count, and make sure IT actually counts.

 

Well pwede mo sabihin na its her choice what she does with what you give her BUT that wouldnt be saving her. Baka nga mas malaki pa pera nya kesa sa binibigay mo. So IMHO, if you want to save you make her. Plus malalaman mo dn kung may feelings sya syo. Pag she always makes excuses na hindi na enrol ung binigay mo e alam na this. Pag sabihin nyang na enrol you have to see kung na enroll nya. Kung ayaw nya ipakita then alam na this. You have to remember sir in any situation the savior cant do anything if the victim does not want to be saved. I may sound hypocritical but Ill just say it.. Kahit c Jesus na sinave tyo kung ayaw natin ma save we'll end up still in eternal damnation.

She's actually already, enrolled and taking her classes the same day she has her duty/schedule. When I say lost, I mean't she has no directions on her course and what to do with it after school. I don't plan on the tuition as I'm sure she has more than enough to pay for it and she smart enough for that.

I give her choices and help/extend my advices so that she knows what to do. I already said that I'm willing to help her out sa thesis niya and sa OJT niya when the time comes.

There's only so much i can do for her. and it's up to her to decide on what she wants. Next time, I'm planning to ask her what she wants to do with me. Does she want me to stay and help her or not. If not then I'll just leave.

As you've said, I can't save anyone who can't save themselves first.

To add, I do have strong feelings for her. I do love her, yes. Lust? I'm way past/over that na. I've always let her decide and respected her decision, whether she will love me or not.

Not to trying sounding "KISA" or anything but to share and be honest;

Most of the time in our sessions, no ES really happens, I've let her decide on this (even when I'm really "tigang"), and I still pay her. I let her rest/sleep during the whole session because I know she's tired as she's always fully booked. I even bring her home cooked food every time as I know she doesn't have the time to go out and eat. Because I care for her and not just for myself.

The strange part about her (and the main reason why I want to save her) is she's Lost and she doesn't know what to do and where to go in her life anymore, (she's not doing this to support her family/kids or anything like that) she's here because she wants to escape, like she's throwing her life away.

And that's the saddest part, she has so much potential and yet she's wasting it away by being here, in this industry. I want to help guide her out and live the life she deserves and be happy.

I apologize for the long story and post, but I feel better talking to this to you guys. I would like to really thank you for your advices to me. It really helps my keep away my depression and constant thoughts of suicide.

Well there are a lot of trolls talaga. Part of the test yan kung tlgang love mo c thera. Either you get affected or not. Admitedly I get affected not because I fell for a thera but because I have many thera friends and I have a friend who was with a thera. Was kasi d na pumapasok c thera.

 

Nakakalungkot lng na tlgang may mga tao na walang respeto sa tao. I guess sila ung mga keyboard warriors na walang magawa. Sa buhay or walang kwenta ang buhay. Palibhasa hindi kayang mambully sa tunay na buhay kaya dito nag trotrll.. Well dati yun.. Ngyn I realized I have so much to do kesa patulan sila.. But its a good test for you boss harveyapecter. Will make you realize what you really feel..

Thank you bro King Kong, I know this is OT again, but I would be lying if I said I'm not affected. It does bother me.

Anyway, Before I finally retire, it's always been a personal dream/goal of mine to save at least 1 thera out of the industry if the thera really has the potential to. And that's what I honestly see in her. She can live a better life, earn higher without going to this industry..

bro out of tune naman sana yung mga ganyan bagay sa pM pinag uusapan.. wag dito

Agreed, this way too OT and too personal. These discussions/post was not to be mean't for anyone particular.

That is a good start.

btw does KISA mean "Kupal In Shining Armor"?

It means "Knight in Shining Armor", it's gotten a bad rap/reputation since it means that the GM has been super jealous of other GM's and just want's to keep the thera by himself, I've seen arguments/fight occur in both the forums and in actual Espa's. I don't want to be that kind of person.

 

 

If you can, try to lessen your interactions and see how you behave.. Do you miss her or think of her often. Can you even hold off seeing her for a longer period of time. How long has it been since you last spoke, texted each other etc.. Based on your statement that you are contemplating retirement once you have helped her, I think you are indeed falling. I hope you choose the path that will lead to your happiness and to hers as well. We (GMs) are may be perverted and lustful beings, but still one of the redeeming values I have seen from others here is that we are also capable of wanting others to find happiness no matter where it may come from.

 

I hope you think about this; some people are willing to pay to find happiness. But sometimes, it is those given freely that makes people "happier". So if you are going to pursue her, look at yourself and reflect if what you're doing for her is really to help her or because you want her to be yours... Based on what you posted you seem to be content if someday you don't end up together, as long as you see her make the most of her life so you may have a pure intent but I have also seen other people change their minds or feelings for someone.

 

Since you never mentioned your status and Harvey Specter is single, I will think with the same applies to you.

I do really miss her often, and I can't hold off more than a week without seeing/talking to her. To be honest I'm clinically depressed, and to make it worse I'm an extreme introvert so I don't have friends to talk to, at the office I'm alone 99% of the time due to my job as a statistician/data scientist.

I text her at least once a day, just to greet her and to ask her how she's doing and if she's okay. And I do have pure/clean intents for her, I want the best for her because I can really see that she has potential, and it's just wasted by her being in the "industry". That's why I really want to help her, in anyway I can. Again, even if we don't end up being together it's fine.

 

 

If you can, try to lessen your interactions and see how you behave.. Do you miss her or think of her often. Can you even hold off seeing her for a longer period of time. How long has it been since you last spoke, texted each other etc.. Based on your statement that you are contemplating retirement once you have helped her, I think you are indeed falling. I hope you choose the path that will lead to your happiness and to hers as well. We (GMs) are may be perverted and lustful beings, but still one of the redeeming values I have seen from others here is that we are also capable of wanting others to find happiness no matter where it may come from.

 

I hope you think about this; some people are willing to pay to find happiness. But sometimes, it is those given freely that makes people "happier". So if you are going to pursue her, look at yourself and reflect if what you're doing for her is really to help her or because you want her to be yours... Based on what you posted you seem to be content if someday you don't end up together, as long as you see her make the most of her life so you may have a pure intent but I have also seen other people change their minds or feelings for someone.

 

Since you never mentioned your status and Harvey Specter is single, I will think with the same applies to you.

hey brotha, if you'll ask me i'd say go for her and take her away from the spa as soon as you can. You have mentioned that you're already successful in your profession, which means you can support her if she would leave her current job. Why the rush? it's because she's still fresh (pardon my word) and the overwhelming amount of cash coming in in a very short time will begin to affect her psychologically. She may get used to it and be enticed to stay a lot longer than planned. Some has in fact went deeper and became spa owners themselves. Let us not forget that this industry has gargantuan moral and legal issues. So if you can, be the white knight that would save the damsel in distress for real. Good luck

That's my main objective bro, I'm not uber rich naman to support her every need so I can't do that yet.

In the next/upcoming sessions with her I'm planning/preparing to help her manage her finances para she has a stable future where she doesn't have to go back to the industry anymore. She's really smart naman so I hope this will just be easy for her.

I want to be the "knight" but not a "KISA". Again, I'll respect whichever decision she goes for. I'll just give her my best advice.

I agree with solryan and jakedgreat. First requirement is both of you should be single. I dont know if gf or bf is a part of it BUT in my opinion if GM has gf no, pero pag c thera may BF okey lang sulutin heheheh.. Bsta BF plng. Pag parehas kayo or isa sa inyo may asawa most def big NO....

 

If single I think its not for anybody to say na it wont succeed, bsta parehas kyo e happy I think it has a chance of a happy ending. Bsta ang tatandaan mo lng always leave something for yourself and no regrets.

I'm single and to my knowledge she's also single (I haven't asked her about this yet.) but anyway, it's ironic/funny that I'm always giving her advice not to have a BF yet and just to focus on her studies and her career path, and yet, here I am falling in love with her. How hypocritical of me.

 

 

First of all, nice handlename.. hehe magandang show at isang complicated at astig na character yan pinili mong pic at handlename.

 

Thanks for being honest and for opening up to us. We may be GMs in all the sense of the word (acronym), but some of us (including me) are open-minded, wherein we know this can happen to anyone. I hope you are single and that she too is single and you can both take that leap of seeing where your story goes. I agree, to most of the members here who say that this will be HARD, but you know what, most relationships are hard. Maybe we think a Thera-GM relationship is harder because of the intimacy involved in the work that they do. But, if you know this from the start and still wish to pursue her, then brace yourself and may you have the balls like your chosen avatar (Harvey Specter) to see this through and fight for what you feel (and believe in).

 

My request is (if you can and want to, please) keep us looped in. There are members among us who wants to see this kind of endeavor succeed. I for one, feel envy and admiration for those few and select individuals who started from this kind of relationship and eventually evolved into something more.

 

Heck, even now, a small part of me wished the thera I liked ages ago was available, so I may have at least had a shot of pursuing her and putting my courtship skills to the test, to see if I can win her heart.

Thanks bro Solaryan, I chose my handle name after the character because I believe that we're really both alike, we're both successful, smart etc. but we suck in handling/pursuing relationships.

Anyway, I'm torn apart. A half/part of me wants to pursue her, and the other half doesn't want to go after her. I know it's hard and risky, but I really, truly believe that she's worth it (the pain, effort, money etc.)

But ultimately, I just want to see her happy and to graduate/succeed, to get away from the "industry". whether she chooses to let me be a part of her/to be together or she never wants to see me again, is her decision and I'll respect it. Even if it hurts me.

I promised to myself that she will be my final project. After she leaves/becomes successful, I'll retire/end as a GM.