BlackHoleSun

How to moveon? Kung Hindi parin siya mawala sa puso ko.. ?

Tulad ng sabi ni pakjoo, hindi na siya mawawala sa puso mo. Ganun talaga.

Palagay ko ang unang step sa pag move on ay yung matanggap mo na siya mismo ay wala na or di mo na makukuha pero yung version niya na minahal mo ng lubusan ay lagi pa rin nandyan sa puso mo.

Yes agree ako doon sa kahit pagbalik baliktarin mo man ang mundo, hanggat di umaalis sa spa, hindi maayos yung relationship.. pero minsan din kasi naiisip namin, is he worth fighting for? May mga bagahe din kami, may mga binubuhay, kaya ba ako buhayin ng pagmamahal? Mga kadalasang pumapasok sa isip namin.. pwedeng pagtulungan satotoo lang.

 

pero alam mo yun, kung kayo naiisip nyo na dito nyo kami nakilala very risky kasi trabaho namin to, para sakin the feeling is mutual, natatakot din kami mafall sainyo kasi dito namin kayo nakilala.. na alam mo un.. baka hindi namin din alam kung kani kanino din kayo pumupunta.. yung ganun.

 

Pero may mga alam ako na successful relationship.. na galing dito..pero mahirap sobra pinagdaanan nila.

 

Meron namang thera, kaya ng bitawan lahat, para sa GM pero, naunahan syang bumitaw ni GM.. napagod agad.. buti na lang di nya pa binibitawan lahat lahat.

 

Kaya lahat dito sa loob MTC pag dating sa love kailangan sumugal.. nasasayo kung kaya mo i-all in.. kung malakas ba loob mo, kung hanggang saan..

I agree Ms. Nevz. The fact na parehas nararamdaman ni thera at GM yung mga agam-agam proves that the situation they are in is mutual. I think ninjakid69 described it very well in saying that when you reach a point that you love someone it goes beyond to that person and you always consider that person's situation and the other people around the person. Ikaw na rin nagsabi na pwede namang pagtulungan pero di rin naman biro yung sitwasyon ng ibang thera na sa kanila lang talaga umaasa yung pamilya nila at mga mahal sa buhay. And of course there will always be GMs drunk with lust treating it as false love at itatago ang katotohanan tungkol sa kanila.

Kahit na ganun, I believe it can work. Hindi lahat ng mga sitwasyon ay inescapable or unexcuseable. If the GM is tied down already then he should be man enough to control himself and not go too far. The thera should also do her part. Be madiskarte and set the correct expectations dun sa mga sinusuportahan niya at mag-ipon para sa magiging buhay niya sa labas ng industriyang ito. If you know, talk about, and plan on these situations at siyempre tiwala na parehas kayo nagsasabi ng totoo, I see no reason for it not to work.

Lagi namang may sinusugal pag nagmamahal. Kung wala, its not love. Siguro mas marami at mas mabigat lang yung mga sinusugal mo kung dito mo nakita ang love na yan haha.

May mga ganto.. pero meron din namang totoo.. nahuhulog din kaming mga thera sa GM. Tao pa din kami.. minsan nga katulad nyong mga GM iniiwan din kami ng mga nagugustuhan naming GM. Nafafall din kami lalo na paglage lage kaming pinupuntahan. Minsan ang iniisip namin pera lang to trabaho lang walang personalan. pero pag tumatagal hinahanap hanap din namin ung certain gm na un..

This validation is such a welcome thought, Ms. Nevz. Brings back a lot of memories ☺️

Pero kahit na umayon na lahat ng planeta at bituin sa pagitan ninyo at ni GM, walang maayos na mangyayari hangga't hindi kayo umaalis sa industriyang ito. Kahit paano niyo pa pagbali-baliktarin yung sitwasyon as long as she is working in and/or he is still patronizing this industry, a romantic relationship will not prosper. All the love and emotion will amount to nothing if both parties cannot make the ultimate sacrifice.

On the flip side, I do know of some theras with "working" romantic relationships, even families. The sad part is that its built on a foundation of lies as the partner does not know the true nature of her work. This same situation exists for the families the theras support with their job. This burden of truth will always threaten to bring that foundation into ruin.

It's us making it more difficult.

+1

Thank you for this.

In order to move on, we must understand why we felt such thing and why we no longer need to feel it.

Spot on. Which part then makes it so difficult to move on?

This is heavy metal s@%t (no offense bud i meant it as a complement)

the last line is a jaw dropper

Thanks? Hehe ok lang none taken.

TFS Paps. Awkward nga yung ganyang eksena.

 

Awkward as hell. Pero kinailangan ko rin gawin para tulungan ako maka-move on.

So, to test out my own advice and questions, I paid her a surprise visit. Anonymous reservation, no clue that I was going to arrive, plainly as a GM. The room was dim. I sat facing away from the door. But she only needed to see my silhouette.

Bakit ka nandito? Alam mong ayoko na dito tayo sa loob.

She acted like she saw a ghost; sitting at the other end of the bed, farthest from me.

Hindi kita gagawin. Hindi ko kaya.

She wanted me to pick a different thera. I declined. But she was adamant, too. One of the qualities I really liked about her.

Iba yung sa atin eh. Iba ka. May something tayo.

So we just sat far away from each other. Glancing looks. One question here and there. She still wanted me to choose someone else. I just kept declining. She went out a couple of times to smoke. I strongly felt she did not want to see me, and yet she never asked me to leave, nor did she choose to leave.

At that moment I did not know what to feel. Or what to say. Or what else to do. I just sat there, with her, for the next hour and a half. I wanted to see and be with her again. It still happened, I guess. Not just how I intended.

A week passed by and I saw her post some selfies. Her first in a long while. She looked good - as beautiful and sexy as I remember her from memory. Happy and wearing a smile - something very rare.

Was she happy because I'm no longer part of her life? Was she happy because she has a new guy(s) who gets to play with her body and f*cks her silly? The many questions and demons that pop up in my head are still there. But they do not matter to me anymore.

This time I only felt lust. The rush of memories of the time we were together were filtered. Its not that I don't care about her at all, but more of my feelings for her now have a clear definition.

Falling is definitely easy. Moving forward after the fall is the hard part.

If dream girl = type ng babae na pinagpapantasyahan mo then I guess I was lucky to have had her even for a short while. 6.5 months to be exact. She was every bit the girl I always fantasize about both in the physical aspect and attitude-wise.

Kaya din siguro ang hirap mag-move on hehe. Hay.

Oh, I'm with the 30% by the way. All of my posts here do not pertain to the same thera of the 70%. Just putting it out there haha.

Curious lang ako.. Kung yung thera na nainlove kayo eh di nyo nameet sa spa or naavail sa spa eh ganun pa rin kaya ang mangyayari? Would you still fell for her?

This is a yes, so long as she does not hide her line of work from me. Which would probably go the other way around given your proposed situation.

I remember a top thera, who I got twice, and who I met socially a few times, told me of one of her ex-BFs who, after they broke up, would still visit her at the MP and f&*k her while saying "I love you, I love you..." She said she found it weird and pathetic, but needing the money just let him spend himself until he tired of it. Well, that's really where it will end up I think, you f&*k her and in the end realize what she is, and you're never getting her out, or never getting the whore out of her. Better to just not play the emotions game, it is a losing proposition.

This is clearly a visit that is not strictly as a GM. I agree with your thera-friend that such an act is pathetic.

I ask again gents - assuming emotions will not be involved, would you still visit your active theralabs as a GM after all that has happened between the both of you?

Buti ka pa, Minahal ka ng TheraLabs mo ng Lubusan kahit hindi naging Happy Ending samantalang kami.....

Ayokong may na-realize ako sa sinabi mo Sir at the expense of your misery.. pero tama ka. Silver lining. Thanks.

Tanong sa lahat ng madalas tumambay dito tsaka kasi walang 'fallen for a thera' thread haha.. kung di kayo nagkatuluyan ni theralabs at active pa siya sa industry, would you still visit her strictly as a GM?

"whats done is done whats gone is gone. one of life's lesson is always moving on "

Highly Agree to this.

Just cherish those sweet memories and move on.

I want to take care of her, so please theraloves ko PM muna ko just explain to me anong nangyayari sayo? Makikita pa ba kita? It's hard.

Pero mahirap naman talaga, lalo na kung umabot na sa punto na nag-aalala ka ng tunay at may pakialam sa mga nangyayari sa buhay niya.

Its difficult to disconnect ng ganun-ganun na lang - and its a disadvantage kasi ang mga theralabs natin sanay na sa ganito. Its the bitter truth, regardless of what you hear them say.

Looking back, I was given a reminder naman - hayaan mo ako na mahalin ka ng lubusan, pero kapag napagod na ako hayaan mo na lang din ako.

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes

I don't wanna say goodbye to you

Love is one big illusion I should try to forget

But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop

I'm the one who's feeling lost right now

Now you want me to forget every little thing you said

But there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried

Now you wanna say goodbye to me

Love is one big illusion I should try to forget

But there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away I know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere

Don't know which way to go

There ain't so much to say now between us

There ain't so much for you

There ain't so much for me anymore

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away I know

Sa mga kapanalig na patay na patay at masaya-kuno sa theralabs nila ngayon..

Kahit paano mo pa paikot-ikutin yung pagsasama ninyo one thing is for certain - kung hindi pa desidido lumabas si theralabs sa trabahong ganito, mauuwi rin sa wala ang lahat ng mga nararamdaman ninyo.

But hey, fall and enjoy while it lasts!

Just came off the heels from a relationship with a therapist. I want to vent out but unfortunately walang "fallen for a therapist" thread haha kaya dito na lang.

Para on topic, I think its just natural to fall for a therapist. Debate all you want, pero sa linya at bisyo na ganito this is very much a common occurence. Anuman yung dahilan mo, I'm here to validate that and tell you that its perfectly normal.

But before you invest more time and effort kay theralabs, remember that a serious relationship always involves both heart and mind. Saktong balanse ng emotions and logic.

If you are in this situation right now, let me share with you the three important things I learned to give you a sort of checklist to think about. Right now most probably solid na yung emotions part, lets work on the logic part.

1. A relationship with a therapist must be built on TRUST.

Tiwala. Hindi chemistry. Hindi awa. Hindi physical attraction. Lalo na hindi sa libog haha. Kung tutuusin, all romantic relationships should be bulit on trust. Pero kung plano mo talaga seryosohin si theraloves, siguraduhin mo sa sarili mo na kaya mo siyang pagkatiwalaan ng buong-buo at kaya rin niyang gawin yun sayo. Lahat ng sasabihin niya hindi ka magdadalawang-isip. Kapag tahimik siya hindi mo pag-iisipan ng masama kung anuman ang ginagawa niya. Kailangan ito dahil sa important thing #2..

2. Accept that your girl works, lives, and breathes in an environment full of FAKES and LIES.

Si thera-loves ay isang sex worker. Her work asks her to be very intimate with other men and she creates a false version of intimacy to fulfill the requirements. Let's not fool ourselves - you and her customers get to experience that same intimacy. A client will not pay good money if he did not feel that she was his girlfriend or personal pornstar for an hour or two. She also creates false versions of herself in public, with co-therapists, and with people close to her who do not know what she does for a living. Magagawa mo lang to kung alam mo ang totoong dahilan kung bakit siya napunta sa ganitong trabaho - not the crap she tells everyone else. Knowing this will help you fully accept this fact. Try to work it out and draw that fine line and create a space wherein hindi na niya kailangan magpanggap at magsinungaling.

3. If anyone breaks the other's trust, LEAVE.

If by any reason ikaw or si theraloves broke a promise, nagsinungaling, or does anything na makakasira ng tiwala. Time to call it quits and end the relationship. If you or si theraloves crosses over that fine line, wala nang pagkakaiba yung relationship ninyo at yung relationship niya sa mga cliente niya. Yung tiwala will be the differentiator - what makes you special and unique. Not the night outs, not the livewire sex, not the money and the gifts. Each person will have different gauges kung kailan niya masasabi na wala na yung tiwala niya. Ang importante ay itigil na yung relasyon ninyo kung may isang nawalan na ng tiwala kasi everything will only go downhill.

To conclude, you can fall for a therapist but as long as she is in this line of work a functional romantic relationship will not prosper. It will only cause more pain and sadness rather than joy and happiness. Getting theraloves out of this business is actually easy as long as she whole-heartedly wants to. I think that time would be the best time to pursue the relationship.

Nagkasundo tayo na hindi na magpansinan at magkalimutan na

Kasi ayaw mo nang masaktan pa ng sobra dahil sa sitwasyon natin

Patawad

Dahil walang araw na lumipas mula noon

Na hindi ka dumaan sa isip ko

At hindi nagpakirot ng puso ko

Gustong malaman kung ayos ka lang ba

Gustong masilayan ang ngiti mo

Gustong maging dahilan ng mga ngiti mo

Paano ba tatanggapin

Na ang dalang saya ay may kalakip na sakit

Nagmamakaawa ako na sabihin mo

Kung papaano bibitaw

At susuko sa iyo

Jaime All Over - Mayday Parade

Please don’t tell me

that I’m dreaming

When all I ever wanted was to

dream another sunset with you

☹️

I got to know her a little bit better today. More than a little bit, actually. Understood some of her quirks. Some of her problems. Things that she like about us. And things that currently make her happy.

Be still, my heart.

Everything in life is a trade. That makes falling in love with anybody hard. Maalala mo nung college ka, may lalaki has a nice car, a pretty girl, then after sometime may ibang bf a nicer car, or a smarter bf.. Well she has to have something, she haa to get something. Ung lalaki, he also has to have something. Its just easier if yoy have money, because money really makes the world go round. I dont think there really is an unconditional love except sa sarili mong dugo at laman.

I agree that everything in life is a trade. Pero palagay ko yung example mo is a bit cliche hehe.

Most trades are mediated, but there are some done in good faith. In any relationship its true that both parties need to get something. It wont work if one only gives and the other only receives. Di rin gagana ng maayos kung di gusto ng isang party yung makukuha niya kapalit nung binigay niya. That is why most choose to mediate - para satisfied parehas. Pero may mga pagkakataon din naman na ang kasuduan ay mag-aadjust sila irregardless of what they receive.

So the question is, anong relationship - anong love - ba ang gusto ninyo?

...nagkataon lang na mas mahabang patience ang kailangan kapag sa thera ka na inlove, pero kung totoo naman nararamdaman mo at may tiwala ka sa partner mo at kayo ang para sa isat isa, tapos si thera ganon din hindi fake, kahit ano pa mangyari kayo parin sa huli. Ang importante you talks to each other kung ano ang makakabuti sa inyo, listens to her and respects her at alam mo kung ano work nya. Baka naman nagagalit ka kapag may client sya ehh sa spa nga sya ng wo work...But most importantly, it comes from how you treats her when her clothes are on. Hindi yung kailan lang sya nakahubad saka mo sasabihin mahal mo sya...hayyy hindi yata love un bka lust lang...

Well said. Specially dun sa part na nagagalit pag may client and yung how you treat her when her clothes are on. Agreed 100%

Kung mahal mo talaga, its the same kind of love kahit thera pa siya o hindi. Trabaho lang niya yun and it should not define her. And I think its not always a knight-in-shining-armor-saving-a-damsel-in-distress situation. Everyone has reasons why they do stuff and go through their daily crap. I realized from your post bro Extreme na mas importante pa rin yung nagkakaintindihan kayo sa sitwasyon ninyo and you complement it. Not just asserting yourself, directly or indirectly, as the solution/her lifesaver.

Sa mga GM dito na in a relationship with a thera, I have a few questions:

 

1. Are you giving her financial support?

2. Are you forbidding her from doing specific kind of ES?

3. Are you two still confined to the four corners of the cubicle?

4. Are you seen in public with her?

5. Have you stopped going to the SPA for some service?

1. No.

2. No. (Ideally its a solid Yes for me siyempre pero trabaho niya yan and knowing that you have to accept that fact kahit na sobrang hirap.)

3. No. (But it does become a last option kasi ang hirap mag-meet sa schedule.)

4. Yes. (Madalang nga lang, schedule issues mainly)

5. Yes. (Sa kahit saang spa)

trust nga sir. Yan ang bubuhay sa relationship nyo

Such an ideal outlook. While I admire this, I'm afraid one thing is never enough to keep a relationship going. Hindi naman sa kontrabida ako pero let us be real, yung normal na relationship nga maraming hinihingi. Pano pa kaya itong toxic and unconventional na relationship na ganito?

I'm all for celebrating these kinds of relationships pero let's not dive in blindly. Kung aaminin mo na may halong libog yan maiintindihan kita pero kung seseryosohin mo na talaga ibang usapan na. Take things slow at pag-isipan mabuti.

Appreciate your comment, but...

But i tried to communicate my feelings... pero it was not communicated back. There was some signs, but i misinterpreted the signs. I guess Im just being misled... I was already being played. Madami siyang regular na kinikita sa labas.

I was right to assume your experience went the sour route. I forgot to comment na kung pipiliin mo talaga pumasok sa isang relasyon with a thera, seryoso man or with benefits lang, open your mind to the fact that you are not the only man in her life. Unti unti kang kakinin ng selos at paranoia sure yan, lalo na kung nalalagi ka dito hahay taena kada FR kulang na lang mabaliw ka. If you can’t accept the fact na ganun, then I guess this type of relationship is not for you. Sorry bro.

But it does not mean you can’t make it work. My advice, learn from what you have experienced and if it happens again adjust accordingly na lang.

Yan ang dapat mong labanan sir. Meron at meron siyang kinikita sa labas at dapat intindihin mo yun.

 

Well kaka-break ko lang sa kanya dahil nga na-discover ko na meron siya ka-relasyon na seryoso din kaya hindi ko kinaya dahil mas matagal na sila. Nagkagulo lahat. Pero kahit ganun nangyari we still communicate until now, nagbe-beg siya na kung may babalikan siya e ako daw ulit pero sa ngayon sobrang stressed na ko kaya hayaan na lang muna panahon mapagsabi kung magiging kami ulit. Kahit papaano friends pa rin naman kami baka dahan-dahanin mag simula ulit?

I had a previous one na toxic kasi may ka-live in na. It was my first though so medyo magulo at masakit haha pero over the past month or two medyo nag-lie low ang lahat. Apparently she quit the industry due to several reasons, her partner included. Now she’s working legit and she’s very thankful kasi mula nung nakilala niya ko tinutulungan ko kasi siya na makahanap ng paraan para makalabas sa industry. When we meet I listen to all her rants and partake some advice. I give her gifts in kind to support yung mga napaguusapn naming solutions sa problema niya haha. Small steps, but I’m happy na yung relasyon namin helped her move forward. We still communicate and ayaw niya na bitawan kung anong meron kami so I just oblige. I’m still all to helping her anyway.

During the course of this I came to know of a lot of things in this industry. And a lot of things a thera like her goes through. Malalaman mo talaga kung hanggang saan ang kaya mo.

Meron talagang player na thera. They would really make you fall in love with them. But in reality, they only love themselves.

Until they encounter a GM they like na todo pa-fall. Being a player does not mean you are not susceptible of being played at. Most of the time, “players” sila kasi this is how they defend themselves and keep themselves sane. But when the tables are turned hindi rin nila kakayanin.

Therapists will always bank on “love” to win customers and have regulars. Pero it does not mean they only love themselves. True, meron dyan iilan na scarred na from past experiences and are on a self-destructive downward spiral. But most are really just trying to make a living. Para sa pamilya nila, sa pangarap nila, sa anak nila kung meron. The impression on us GMs may be different, but its a difficult way of living din. Kaya most of the time they appear to only love themselves kasi they go through or have gone through more crap than what we usually take.

Kaya para saken don’t dismiss your feelings lalo na kung mutual naman. Tipong after N visits ramdam niyo na may chemistry kayo. Kung anuman yung nararamdaman mo, as a GM be direct about it. Tell her what you really feel. Kung libog lang ba yan o love na talaga haha. The more both of assumes what really is going on between the two of you, the more na magiging mahirap. Fubu lang ba o full on relationship? Pwede meet outside or sa spa lang? Mag-tip pa ba or in-kind na lang? Your thera will appreciate it, I assure you.

I'm in love with a thera, but there are circumstances that forbids us to be together.. Tanggap ko siya at mahal ko siya... i told her that she is very special to me... sent her gifts, flowers, went to the her spa to do nothing but talk to her and just gaze at her (promise wala kaming ginagawa natunaw lang ako sa titig nya but I give her money still every time I visit her.. )... but i never told her yet that I Iove her dahil alam ko namang hindi pwede.... I have never been to any other spa or mp.. I am also not a regular spa goer... i visit this site mainly to check her.. first and most likely last thera ko na siya.... it breaks my heart to read FRs about her, parang dinudurog yung puso ko pagnababasa ko ung mga FR... sa ngayon, i stopped communicating with her... 15 days na kami hindi naguusap sa FB... nakakalungkot lang kasi hindi niya ko kinakamusta.. it made me feel like she was just being nice to me because its her job.... saklap... i am well educated.. i came from a prestigious school and took a career which only a few can ever afford... i am financially stable.. lahat ng naging GFs ko were her opposite.. lahat ng GFs ko were aggressive and sophisticated as our profession requires... but there is something about this thera which made me fall head over heels... I feel like she's my damsel in distress and I'm her knight in shining armor... kaso mukang high paying client in a nice car lang ang tingin niya sakin.... i'm not ugly, pero hindi din naman ako artistahin.. i've had 5 GFs.. hindi din naman ako DOM, I'm only 30yrs old... saklap...

Medyo nakaka-relate ako sa pinagdadaanan mo, more or less. Nakita ko rin yung last reply mo and if I may give my two cents about it, masasabi ko na how you are looking at the situation is affected ng pinagdadaanan mo.

Based on experience, you need not be serious all the time. I guess ganun talaga some or maybe most of us are hopeless romantics pero na-realize ko na in the end yung something special na nararamdaman mo started really with companionship. Try not going for a serious tone and just enjoy the presence of each other, both in actual and virtual.

Kung gusto mo pa rin ituloy always remember that FRs will always tear your heart off. But trust me, it pales compared to seeing posts of her with her boyfriend. Now it will boil down to trust and acceptance. Kung di mo kaya then tigilan mo na. Naniniwala ako na di ka pa talaga nagmamahal kung di ka pa nasasaktan. And through that pain you will come to understand your boundaries at kung saan ka lulugar.

Best of luck brad and whatever happens always remember that life is good!

The both of you are all sweet and intimate the whole day but as the dead of night carries on you see with your own two eyes and realize the hard truth and it hits you like a truck without brakes free-wheeling downhill..

There will never be a chance for the both of you to end up happy together.