yours

free

cguro truth

thanks bro for sharing to others what blessings you have.

 

back to the topic. my advice would still be the same to the two issues you raised.

she had a choice didnt she? you offered her something without anything in return and yet turned you down. then i rest my case. ive proven my point to you. theres no more need to elaborate why she doesnt want or the what ifs. just by reading between the lines you can understand the message.

 

brother, heed my advice and sir muttleys. dont be the white knight. dont be her personal jesus. channel your efforts to people who will appreciate your help and maybe just like you who paid it forward will do the same.

kenichi, brother, and everyone else,

maraming salamat sa inyo, not that you laid it out rather MATTER OF FACTLY, medyo naiintindihan ko na. Admitedly, I really am very fond of the girl, and indeed i wasnt seeing things clearly and in this instant she really had a choice---granted that the money is not going to be as good, but it would had been enough, BUT she has to earn it, the traditional way, which may be a harder way....

but i would think, out of every 1000 mpas in the industry, there will be a handful who would have taken the offer or who will be happy that there is such an option. I now its not easy, I sterted doing research, and below is an interesting article I found--thought I share as these discussions may lead to something... in my experience, when things are talked about, sometimes it can lead to something..

well, given that I found my self in this scene, and really moved and have a little bit of understanding of teh fate f some of the mpas (thanks to kenichi, muttley this blog) given time I think I will be in a position to talk to people who can set up programs for mpas, etc.. who wants OUT OF THE INDUSTRY, it may be a long shot or a long term project but I believe it is worth a try...

I notice a lot of the gents here, really care for the mpas etc... I feel this is a good way to at least get ideas and see where it takes us; THE MAIN IDEA BEING: An independent program, institution, NGO (independent from the government) with a mission of giving opportunities for women in the sex industry to 1. Gain knowledge about their self (psychologically, and practical knowledge of selves, support system) and let them know that THEY DO HAVE CHOICES, it will not be easy but there is a way out 2. Educate: either vocational, or practical skills in business, or other skills 3. Assist and guide them if they so desire to transition out of teh industry.

I know a lot of the men here, have also gotten to know their mp's and some also cares for them, BE NICE TO HAVE AN MPA JOIN US IN THIS DICUSSION, participation in this discussion, I know the above is ambitious and not easy to achieve but I believe that anything is possible, we can have something very positive come out of these sharing of of ideas and discussions... we at least have to try... THANKS AND LOOKING FORWARD TO READING EVRYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS.... salamat po.

Yours.

----------------------------------------------------------

They say that the only thing that is easy about prostitution is getting into it. Leaving the lifestyle is anything but easy.

“Entry into prostitution is ‘easy’ because it requires no skills or formal training; payment is instant; and a person can earn every day and trade anywhere, anytime. But exiting is extremely difficult for most people, as much as they may hate what they are doing,” says Bruwer.

The reasons for this are varied and complex, much like the reasons people turn to prostitution in the first place.

“Economic desperation, childhood sexual abuse and substance addiction are among the many reasons men and women get into prostitution. Prostitution is a means of survival, which might ward off starvation or support an addiction, but it doesn’t empower people nor help heal their hurts. In fact, it is disempowering and causes more damage.”

Because of the abusive and inherently harmful nature of prostitution, prostituted people have a mortality rate 40 times higher than the average person. They suffer from serious physical, emotional and mental health issues – from trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety to self-mutilation and dissociative disorder.

“This psychological and spiritual damage makes it very difficult for people to leave the lifestyle. And more often than not there isn’t a supportive family structure or safety net for them to fall back on.

“In fact, because of sexual abuse, especially in childhood, there is this belief that prostitution is all the person is good for.”

Truter says that sexual abuse effectively grooms people for prostitution. Based on the experience of working with prostituted people in Cape Town over the past 30 years, Straatwerk estimates that 75% of women entering prostitution as adults and 95% of women entering as children or teenagers have been sexually traumatized before entering prostitution.

“This results in the thinking that says, ‘I’ve already been used and abused; it was done to me. Now I’m choosing to have it done to me and now I am in control. Now I’m getting money or some form of compensation for it.’

“Our society says that if somebody gives permission it’s not abuse. But if the permission is given out of brokenness, it is abuse. But we believe that prostitution is by definition abusive.”

Bruwer says that of the many hundreds of prostituted people that she has worked with, none plan to stay in prostitution permanently, yet few manage to get out and stay out.

“They try to leave but return because it’s their only way to survive. And many don’t survive. Their bodies are found in the sea, shot, stabbed, choked, beaten.”

Ultimately the underlying problems that drive people into prostitution need to be addressed, says Truter. But as long as there are people in prostitution in Cape Town, Straatwerk will reach out to them and invite them out. By offering friendship and a willingness to journey with people who want to leave prostitution, Straatwerk helps people find healing and the strength to negotiate their own way out.

“Because each individual is different, our ‘programme’ is different in each person’s life. For example, we’ve been walking a road with a man who we have known for 10 years who only recently decided to leave. Whereas we chatted with one woman just once and she made a decision to get out, and so our involvement in her life was brief.”

Helping people out of prostitution is, however, usually a long-term, intricate process. It entails caring for the whole person – the emotional, social, physical and spiritual self.

“The client needs to be actively involved in the process and to take ownership of and responsibility for their lives. Reconciliation with family members is usually required as well as a high level of accountability.

“We have learnt that it is best for people to stay near to their families and communities while they are in recovery, so that they can integrate what they learn into their daily lives. It’s also important for them to integrate into caring groups where they are at all times receiving and giving. Serving is foundational in the healing process.

“Specific areas of growth need to be addressed, such as addictions, and people need to find an alternative way of generating an income. Very often they will need to be taught a skill or a trade.”

Straatwerk offers skills training and exposure to alternative employment by way of a volunteer programme. By taking part in the skills training and the volunteer programme, participants can generate an income.

Straatwerk used to provide accommodation to women in prostitution, but no longer does. “We don’t have all the answers and we aren’t sure that a residential facility is the answer. It’s not ideal to have one entity meeting all of the person’s needs. For example, if we are reaching out and taking in people and counselling them and then caring for them, they can easily become dependent – which is not our goal. We want to help people to become independent.”

Straatwerk is a Christian organisation that seeks to mobilise the church at large to reach out to people in need.

“They say that it takes a community to raise a child. Similarly we believe that it takes a whole community to love people back to life.

“Everyone is gifted in a unique way, so we invite you to join us. If you like speaking to strangers, or making people feel welcome, or cooking for others, then you are qualified to serve.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

www.straatwerk.org.za

bro yours, theres always a choice u said in your post that youve seen women live in poverty but didnt chose to be in the industry. and please, dont say wala silang choice. they have. they can choose to stay away from that trade and find work. kahit katulong. kahit tindera. bakit maraming nagtrabaho sa ganyan ang hindi umasenso? its because of the lifestyle. the attention. the easy money. do you really think na isa lang siya sa propesyon na yan na nagpapakain ng anak at tumutulong sa magulang? karamihan sa kanila ganyan. mabibilang mo sa daliri mo ang naging wise na nag ipon o nag aral o nag negosyo para maiahon ang sarili. in short, kung may pahalaga sa sarili at kinikita yan kahit di ka tumulong iaahon niyan ang sarili niya. kung tutuusin di naman niya kailangan ang tulong mo para magising siya sa katotohanan na dapat niyang ialis ang sarili niya sa ganyang propesyon.

 

if youre really really keen on spending as much as 200k just to save a life then i have better suggestion and for you and i guarantee you will be saving and providing a better life for the many less fortunate. why not donate your 200k to the world vision foundation? they send our poor kababayan in school. mechanics are very easy when u donate, select a child you would like to sponsor and with your donation of just 600 a month or 7,200 pesos a year, the child will have an education as long as you sponsor him/her. now, divide your 200k by 7,200 and you get to send roughly 2 kids from grade 1 until they graduate from high school, isnt that a better choice? or why not send 5 first year high school students from world vision until they graduate. thats much feasible considering youll spend just 145k and have changed the lives of five young teens by giving them free education. visit www.worldvision.org.ph

 

or para di ot why not dnate your 200k to any non goverment organizations that helps the poor?

thats my challenge to you if you sincerely want to help.

 

ill add a disclaimer: i aint in no way angry to mpas, theras, psps or gros. and in no way minamaliit ang kanilang trabaho. i just say it as it is.

hi Kenichi,

thanks for your insight pare, but first off I appreciate your challenge and I'm glad that you are one of the supporters of sponsorship and education, I usually don't share and don't want to talk in detail, but just to show a point, and coincidentally also, I have a lot of kids na sponsor ko, really huge number than what you suggested and working on more to hopefully last beyond my lifetime... because personally, and I don't mind sharing this EDUCATION has brought me and my family out of ABJECT POVERTY and it's one of my way of giving back to society... I wish not to talk about this indepthly, hope this is respected in this forum and REALLY want to go back to the topic I'm trying to come to grips with... as being in this scene now, I want to make a difference even in a small way, or even with one life...

gusto ko talaga maintindihan this rut that these mpas are in, especially this one that I have grown so fondly of... sabi ko nga I'm very new to this scene so al the comments here ay nakakatulong to help me understand...

1. 20 years old palang itong mpa, with a kid and supporting her family... what does a 20 year old know, really, you have a point easy money etc.. but the fact remains, she is 20 and started at 15, that really hurts to know...

2. good point, why not hindi magkatulong? or something else? also i actually offered her NO STRINGS ATTACHED (with the purest of intentions) I ask her to take a minimum wage job, then I'll fill up the kulang sa pangastos so she will have enough... I told her it's not going to be as big as an mpa salary but it will take her out, I'll also help her start a business, it will be hard at first... not sure why she didn't grab the opportunity.. it could had been her way out.... I guess she takes her body for granted, or her values are really off, or maybe your right, maybe she wants easy money as you said...

So i'm torn, AS A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE, I believe in helping out people, but that doesn't mean I'll give them a free meal and they will just sit doing nothing, my feelings are, I really want to TEACH HER HOW TO FISH... not just give her a fish for a day

With the above said, I'm wrestling DO I JUST GIVE UP ON HER? there should be a way to get through her, but she has to WANT IT TOO... EITHER WAY I want to understand... we all know the risk of working in the flesh trade are, physically and in her psyche, it can really ruin her life if she stays long... more insights appreciated, if anyone you has an mpa friend here, please paki sabi join the discussion, maybe we'll understand it more....

thanks all and talk soon...

yours, just because i gave an unsolicited advice doesnt mean that i agree to what you are doing.

 

now let me add something:

you for one is not her saviour. youre no personal jesus.

these girls have a choice. and she chose what she wanted to be. dont be the meal ticket out of poverty.

Hey Kenichi and Muttley,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts... I'm certainly giving it a careful thought NOW and I'll let time pass by, I'm rather new to this scene, and I think will be out pretty soon... but from your comments parang alam niyo how these things work sa mga mpas, ang sa akin lang naman ay I can't believe what these girls go through... of course you can't help but care and have feelings for them also...

I don't mind saving one girl , kung 200 ,000 lang and it will change a life, worth it naman, right? quite frankly, but Kenichi has somewhat of a point, I've seen women live in poverty also not choosing this industry...

but KENICHI, baka naman wala silang choice? if they have limited education and no skills? WHAT ARE THEIR CHOICES? you think, kung they have to sustain a kid...something I'm wrestling with right now, more thoughts will be appreciated.... thanks guys

Let me expand on my earlier post. You barely know her, kahit na sabihin mong araw-araw mong pinupuntahan yung babae. Its really best not to pursue the matter.

 

Most of the answers you seek are already posted in this thread, if you only care to backread staring at the first page.

 

Bottomline: If you wish to help her out, dagdagan mo na lang yung tip na binibigay mo.

Hi Muttley,

I totally appreciate the advice. I saw her today and It tears me apart to see her do the work that she does, there are feelings involved and how I wish I can get her out of there, I'm contemplating on working extra, to save so she can have a business. It doesn't have to me, kung meron lang ibang client who will take her out of the industry, I would be glad, it seems liek someone offered her, but ayaw niya dun sa client na yun, I guess as a matter of principle, she will let it when she likes the gm who will do it for her. I believe her, kasi napakaganda niya talaga and I can seewhy rich men are offering her things....

bottomline is, willing naman ako kahit bigyan ko na lang siya ng puhunan,hopefully around 200,000 pesos kasya na, I can earn this extra in a few months, I can guide her a bit but long term I can be out of the picture, she's too young, mid life na ako, reday to settle quietly... and she has her entire life to live... she needs to enjoy life....

... gusto ko lang siya maalis siya sa cycle of poverty niya... my only problem is she really want to want it too to make it work, kasi it will involve lakas ng loob and sacrifice on her part and also business requires dedication... meron na rin kasi siyang anak... i just hate na pag hindi mag work balik nanaman siya...

thanks kenichi and muttley, either way , kahit na i'm planning pa lang, alam ko complicated... dagdag ako ng tip, marami, but i know short term lang yung tip..

I wish may programa ang gobyerno natin para sa mga mpas, like turuan sila ng ibang skills if they want to get out of the flesh trade, kasi ngayon parang walang option... kawawa talaga ang iba stuck in a vicious cycle...

we need a huge plan with financial backing to just have such an option, any ideas are welcomed.... anything is possible naman, important is to get the ideas out......alam ko marami rito , who feels the same and cares for these ladies too...thanks again guys.. hear from you all soon...