Bad_Influences

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Well, like I said before it was fun while it lasted. I can still feel the pain slicing through my heart like a knife as I'm typing this, but it feels rather good to get this off my chest. I keep telling itself that it's over now, that she's none of my business anymore, but then after a while I would come back to thinking if she came home safe, and looking at the clock I'm wondering what she's doing right now. Sleeping, perhaps? I was actually supposed to fetch her tonight, but then just this afternoon we broke up. It all started this morning when I woke up and I saw that there were no messages from her. It was 6:48 in the morning, and I was expecting a text from her that she's already home, but it never came. I tried calling her, but she didn't pick up, and I was worried. Instead, what I received at half past 10 was a message from an unregistered number asking me why I was calling HIS girlfriend. This was someone in the past who has texted me many times before, asking me to stay away from her girlfriend, though when I confronted MY gf about it she told me she didn't know who it was. Needless to say, I was angry, though I figured I got to use my head to confirm this. So what I did was to feign innocence as to what he was talking about, while at the same time dialling my girlfriend's number. It broke my heart --- absolutely tore it to pieces --- when a man answered at the other end of the line. I quickly hung it up, satisfied with the evidence I have in hand, and patiently waited for her text.

 

To cut the long story short, it was her ex, an ex who she lived with for almost two years and cheated on her by impregnating another woman. I confronted her about it, and she said that she was drunk the night before that her friend had no choice but call her ex (she didn't have my number) and take her home. She finally said that she wasn't really over this ex even when we started dating, and that she couldn't keep on doing this to me and that we should break up. It was in this painful moment that I knew I loved SO MUCH, to the point where I was willing to forget everything and just start over, given that she'd do everything to stay away from that ex. But alas, she said no, and I had no choice but to walk away.

 

Thank you for reading my story. Trust me, you've done me a favor that not even my mother could have given me. She wouldn't understand, just as others and few would do, and just as I still can't accept right now. I never thought I'd love a woman from this industry, and when I knew I did I looked at her as if she's just a normal woman, with the same hopes and fears as I have.

 

Through it all, I want her to be happy, and if that means being happy with someone else, then I'd have no choice but to let her go. There was a time when I told her I'd do everything for her happiness, and I guess this is one of those. I love her way too much to keep her from getting my own happiness in the way of hers. I guess I love her like that. I love her so much, I really do.

 

This was what I wanted to tell her when she texted me telling me that she still loves me but that she has to go, but I figured that if I did say these things it wouldn't do good to any of us, so I'm just writing it here anyway. She's an mtc member herself, who knows if she'd come across my story some day?

nice share brah...

i feel for you...

team asia!