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kiluaui

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Posts posted by kiluaui

  1. Hey,

     

    a nice lady friend of mine brought up a shocking topic...

     

    his 10th month old boyfriend would hurt him physically, everytime they talked on different issues.

     

    Tell me why do some guys would lift their strong hands at delicate women?

     

    ( When I met the guy, ...I "Knocked" his head off and make him realized that a woman should be well taken cared of, treated well with utmost respect, and pampered. )

     

    though I believe in the afterlife, why? why do men hurt women physically?

     

    please kindly share your thoughts my fellow brother....

     

     

    frustrated sa sex life yung guy.

     

    From what I've read so far:

     

    -Men who beat up women are dickheads

    -Women who let themselves get beaten let it happen which then becomes a cycle

    -There's a psychological "defect" on the part of the guy.

     

    Before I express my opinion, I'd like to say sorry for being the psych police. We don't say psychological defect, a person is not product, thus a person can't be defective. A person has problems, disorders, diseases and illnesses. If you're talking about the reasons/symptoms for the illness/disorder, maybe you may want to say FACTOR/S.

     

    I agree the it is not right for a person to harm another just to exert control. However, there are different factors which may have contributed to the present condition and before we label them as "defective". Maybe it would be more prudent to look at one's history first and trace the origins of the behavior in question. An example: If a man beats his wife/spouse/partner when he is drunk then proceeds to fcuk the other party would be labeled sadistic. The question to be asked then is: "Why is he doing that?" What were the factors involved that contributed to this person's twisted view of control and dominance.

     

    Some psychological factors that contribute to this twisted view:

     

    -The person grew up in a household where there was at least one alcoholic person

    -That person may be an abusive father who proceeds to verbally/emotionally/physically abuse the wife (in this case the abusive guy's mother)

    -The father after growing tired of beating the mother to a pulp then proceeds to beat the child

    -The child who was powerless is now nurturing a deep hatred for both parents, while still being attached to the mother who shows him love and affection

    -In the process the child is hoping that the mother would pick up the courage to defend herself and her child

    -As the child grows up, he carries this in his subconscious. It then comes out when he is drunk himself and letting out his frustrations.

     

    -This is just one possible scenario/explanation for the behavior. There are others.

     

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    I have recently heard this: "It's her fault! She's being abused and she was able to leave the guy but she keeps returning, thus the cycle."

     

    -First of all the woman/man who gets beaten up does not let it happen, does not give her consent, does not ALLOW herself to get hurt.

    -A woman/man who gets physically abused also bears the mark of psychological trauma. In the attempt of an abuser to control the abused, he/she would make the abused feel so dependent (by giving material gifts, not letting the other person work or have any means to live on his/her own). The abuser would make the abused feel that he/she is worthless without him/her, etc. Again, I reiterate, the person being abused is not giving any form of consent to be treated like trash. The abuser is a manipulative person who can twist the views and beliefs of another person.

    -An abuser can actually manipulate the people around the abused to make those people think that he/she only has the best interests of the abused at heart. This may then lead the people around the abused to put the blame on the abused of there are any kink in the relationship, etc.

    -The abused would be ashamed to admit the he/she is being abused which is also coupled by the fear that others would judge them for letting something like this happen to them.

    -The abused would be ridden with guilt

    -Other psychological, emotional, environmental and societal implications against the abused.

     

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    Sorry bout the long explanation, but I do hope that gives you an idea as to why things may happen. And uhm, I'm a psychologist by profession.

     

     

    Are you teaching psych?

     

    Kung di nyo na kami mahal, iwanan nyo na lang, wag na saktan physically, mas masakit yun eh.

     

     

    pwede ka naman umalis na e. but you chose not to.

     

    Under no circumstance that a man should lay a finger on a woman, unless his life is endangered.

     

     

    UNLESS when it comes to BED! ^_^

     

    wag tayo manakit kasi wala tayong pinagkaiba sa bading kung ganun! :ninja:

     

    :P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHkvan-NFnM

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