karenin

been choked and hit before when

1. i ddnt answer (not a word) when he asked me reapeatedly what's wrong with me

2. when i tried to walk out of him

when he saw me crying, he came to his senses and said sorry.

he promised me before that never will he hit me.

i guess he did it because that's just his nature.

Let's take GirlsForHire out of the picture.

Most, not all, women engage in sex only when they're inlove. Even women who have sex with men they're not in love with do it for the same reason -- they want to un-love and to forget the man they love so much. she goes down to that level (having sex with men other than the man she loves), thinking that it will end the feelings she has for him right then and there... So technically, they still do the deed because they're (stupidly) inlove.

The only time i regretted buying books was when i realized that i could've have gotten you a rock band set instead.

I was so happy that day that i promised myself to buy you one before you wake up yesterday morning. I've got 13000 pesos in my pocket right now --my last money for this month. I told myself "never mind that boracay trip coz between now and July ill figure something out to finance the trip."

I am just very sad today. i've always been in my lowest state but this time it felt like I'm buried in the ground. Buried so deep and lost forever.

I did ask you right? I did ask you to let me go if im still not enough. Just let me go coz i dont want the first place anymore. Throw me out so both of you can find real happiness. Do you really need me to spice up your love life, your sex life or to boost your ego and manhood? Dont you feel anything for me whenever i look into your eyes telling you "ive suffered enough, just let me go"

How many times did i ask for the truth? How many times did i believe you? How many times did I forgive you? You want to suck every emotion, every virtue and value out of me. Do you hate me that much? You've hurt me beyond repair and it's still not enough? You still want more. Every thing i have ive given you already. Everything that i am ive shared with you already. Every opportunity i dream to get im ready to share with you.

I will always be thankful to you for everything that you've given me. For everything that ill never be able to experience if not for you or for your family. I have a lot of things to be grateful for and i cant tell them all here.

i just wanted to go and live the remaining substance in me. I dont want to regret letting you go after a big mistake. I dont wana get tired of loving you, of forgiving you but i have a life to live. i have a dream to fulfill and people to love. Life cant be all about you.

If you didnt wana stop what your'e doing, you should have let me go. But you wanted the best of both worlds. She knew im still around. I didnt know she's still there.

You made me look stupid. You want each other but i dont wana get dragged into your dirty lives.

You really wana convince me that what she said this morning were all lies? Im not that stupid and Im not only "not stupid", im a very intelligent person who happens to love a jerk.

I was sorry for checking your phone and for replying to her sms. I feel sorry for myself coz i believed your lies and ignored what my intellectual brain was telling me all the while. I was sorry i searched and found out the truth.

But i dont regret any of what i feel sorry about.

I know that the same God who takes care of you cares for me too. And I have to believe that no matter what. Goodbye.