Falling For Somebody 15 Years Older

[_Honey_]

Ganon na nga yon sa iniisip mo.. Sa lahat ng bagay ganon ako..

 

To add: Older men simply know better..

 

 

 

At yun lang ang nasabi ko.

[cHinitababe86]

mas maunawain. can easily adjust.

knows exactly what they want, and would not hesitate to let u know

if ever dapat sabihin. "walang kyeme"

masarap kausap, and lastly, "di nakakakahon sa limited thingies."

[robsalvador]

 

 

At yun lang ang nasabi ko.

 

 

Eii.. What's with the roll-eyes?..

 

I mean I am fierce, feisty and strong in everything I do..

 

I don't do things halfheartedly and I always consider the other side of the equation..

 

On topic.. I am almost always 15 years or older with the girls I've had had relationships with..

 

(Teka lang po bago mag react unahan ko na)..

 

Finding (finding ha, not looking for) a younger girl to have relations with is a natural thing for men to stray to..

 

Yes.. The allure of a young beautiful woman is like an irresistible perfume to men.. Drawn to these lovely young creatures like moths to fire, like dogs to bone..

 

On the other side of the story are young women finding older, more mature men to be a more sensible choice to have relations with..

 

We only have to back-read this topic to prove this, and to know the reasons behind this..

 

Bottom line for me is that this combination may fit like a glove for most situations.. Though it may also not work in some..

 

The reason for this majority is that women like to be loved and loved dearly and strongly..

 

And most of the time, and because over time.. Its the older men who have just these qualities..

 

Ehem.. BTW.. I will be turning 48 soon.. (48-15=33) Wow.. My horizon gets broader and broader.. :lol:

[robsalvador]

moths and dogs are too tame

 

i'd say vampires or white sharks attracted to blood

.. :lol: :lol:

 

I knew I'd get that retort.. Somehow.. I just knew..

 

Give me a break doc.. Was deliberately trying to downplay the fact and that indeed vampires and sharks are better examples..

 

Jeeeeez!.. My balls ache so bad they're numb already! :lol:

 

On topic: By the way.. Hope your below 33..

[robsalvador]

"Growing old is a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form." ~Andre Maurois

One of the rare luxuries for me is time..

 

Maybe its the scarceness that is also part of the attraction to older guys and gals..

 

Those who get bored easily will find the rarity and quality of the company coming from a more mature and experienced partner to be more fulfilling and gratifying..

 

I will strive not to grow old..

 

I will strive only to mature into a better person..

 

 

. . . . . . .

[friendly0603]

There's a 50+ guy who was dating a 17 or 18 yr old girl. The girls' dad cut off the boyfriends' balls. Be careful about those big age gaps. haha

Edited December 15, 2010 by friendly0603

[maniaclara]

haven't tried... it might be interesting...

i mean, love is love... as long as the feelings are pure and mutual and both can handle the age gap, i don't see why it shouldn't work...

[friendly0603]

haven't tried... it might be interesting...

i mean, love is love... as long as the feelings are pure and mutual and both can handle the age gap, i don't see why it shouldn't work...

if you don't look your age, maybe it'll work. But when you're younger, it's obvious and people certainly have some prejudices about it.

When you're both older, i don't think it matters anymore. 60 vs 75 or 70 vs 85 20 vs 35? - oh my. Even the parents will have issues.

 

I remember when a college teacher (girl) was in a relationship w/ a student, the age gap is probably 10 years or less and it was already an issue.

 

So I guess it depends on what age bracket the lower age partner is.

Edited December 20, 2010 by friendly0603

[maniaclara]

if you don't look your age, maybe it'll work. But when you're younger, it's obvious and people certainly have some prejudices about it.

When you're both older, i don't think it matters anymore. 60 vs 75 or 70 vs 85 20 vs 35? - oh my. Even the parents will have issues.

 

I remember when a college teacher (girl) was in a relationship w/ a student, the age gap is probably 10 years or less and it was already an issue.

 

So I guess it depends on what age bracket the lower age partner is.

i think any normally level-headed person would have an issue with a college teacher having a relationship with a student - doesn't matter how big or small the age gap is. the age gap isn't really the issue there, it's that one is in a position of supposedly respectable authority and wisdom over the other and should have responsibly "taken care" of the situation before it got to that point where it is an issue.

 

incidentally, the prejudices are exactly what i meant with being able to "handle the age gap". if both parties can handle the dirty looks, the gossip, the objections, and all that pressure from other people who judge them, then the relationship has a much better chance of working.

 

 

[JHP]

Might have posted something about this previously. i have lived with women who were much older than me (one at a time). Each of them i loved and respected. And it wasn't like they were sugar mommies, because i was earning my own money.

 

When i was in my early 20's, i lived for some years with someone who was in her 40's. We were comfortable with it, however unconventional it was. But the fact that it was unconventional did present certain social challenges. My mother absolutely freaked out. But no regrets.

 

Just wish the separations with each of them had not been so painful. None of them wanted to let go. But roses come with thorns. That's a fact of love.

 

Their maturity was something i appreciated, and somehow we never had differences as to level of maturity. And they were hot. One of them used to joke that each time we made love was one less time i would ever do it with anyone else, and she would get as much out of me as she could.

 

During those times, i got engaged to someone a few years younger than me, and it was traumatic basically for her lack of maturity and stability. Couldn't really blame her. When we're younger we think we know all the answers and there will always be a sunset to ride off into, and we think we really know what we want. But often that's not true. Am not saying younger women are all that way, because there are exceptions.

 

A female friend who was always intelligent and stable once said she felt she didn't get it together, maturity-wise, till she was around 30.

 

Now that i'm older, from my perspective in general, women seem to be getting younger and younger!

 

Not complaining.

Edited December 20, 2010 by JHP

[friendly0603]

i think any normally level-headed person would have an issue with a college teacher having a relationship with a student - doesn't matter how big or small the age gap is. the age gap isn't really the issue there, it's that one is in a position of supposedly respectable authority and wisdom over the other and should have responsibly "taken care" of the situation before it got to that point where it is an issue.

 

incidentally, the prejudices are exactly what i meant with being able to "handle the age gap". if both parties can handle the dirty looks, the gossip, the objections, and all that pressure from other people who judge them, then the relationship has a much better chance of working.

If you can accept love is love, i don't think you'd have no issue with that as well. Respectability isn't really applicable in this example. The age gap variance is really an issue. I could be a fresh grad prof age 22 or 23 and falling for student who's 18 or 19. In my example, the teacher was actually female, fresh masters grad or undergoing PH.D. It was the student who pursued the teacher. It wasn't the teacher who enticed the student. Even other students understood why he fell for the teacher. She isn't the hot type of prof who all students lust after. She's smart, average looking but very nice (mabait).

 

Why go thru all those obstacles when you go thru one without all the hassles?

[maniaclara]

If you can accept love is love, i don't think you'd have no issue with that as well. Respectability isn't really applicable in this example. The age gap variance is really an issue. I could be a fresh grad prof age 22 or 23 and falling for student who's 18 or 19. In my example, the teacher was actually female, fresh masters grad or undergoing PH.D. It was the student who pursued the teacher. It wasn't the teacher who enticed the student. Even other students understood why he fell for the teacher. She isn't the hot type of prof who all students lust after. She's smart, average looking but very nice (mabait).

 

Why go thru all those obstacles when you go thru one without all the hassles?

i don't think it matters who enticed or pursued whom, or who was older than whom, or who was male or female, or who was smart or hot or not. the issue there is that one person is generally expected to have done something about the situation before it eventually became an issue, and that person is the one in authority. why shouldn't respectability be applicable in that situation? one is an educator, a role that ideally maintains a level of respect from everyone he/she deals with in that profession. as such, he/she would've known that relationships between a teacher and a student are generally not acceptable in the academe (at least not as far as i know).

 

ok, granted there may be an issue with the age gap, i still think the bigger issue there is, as i've said, the roles they play and the responsibility that comes with the supposedly more mature role.

 

yes, i can accept that love is love, but i also accept that there are rules and ethics and norms. whether or not other people believe in those or practice those is up to them. my role right now is merely to express my sentiments on the situation, i am not passing judgment on anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

[friendly0603]

i don't think it matters who enticed or pursued whom, or who was older than whom, or who was male or female, or who was smart or hot or not. the issue there is that one person is generally expected to have done something about the situation before it eventually became an issue, and that person is the one in authority. why shouldn't respectability be applicable in that situation? one is an educator, a role that ideally maintains a level of respect from everyone he/she deals with in that profession. as such, he/she would've known that relationships between a teacher and a student are generally not acceptable in the academe (at least not as far as i know).

 

yes, i can accept that love is love, but i also accept that there are rules and ethics and norms. whether or not other people believe in those or practice those is up to them. my role right now is merely to express my sentiments on the situation, i am not passing judgment on anyone.

I think it does matter because you are blaming the older one for letting this happen when they didn't initiate anything. I think it's the older person's fault when he or she initiates and pursues a younger partner. There is an assumption that the younger one don't know any better and the older one is using this to his/her advantage. In fact other students, probably have no complaints about it. Teacher might get kicked out of school because of the relationship but that is the risk you take. Most that I know that develop these kind of relationship leave school voluntarily anyway. How many relationships are generally not acceptable but still happens?

 

That's my opinion as well. We shouldn't be adhere too much to these rules/ethics/norms. We take love where we find it.

Edited December 20, 2010 by friendly0603

[maniaclara]

I think it does matter because you are blaming the older one for letting this happen when they didn't initiate anything. I think it's the older person's fault when he or she initiates and pursues a younger partner. There is an assumption that the younger one don't know any better and the older one is using this to his/her advantage. In fact other students, probably have no complaints about it. Teacher might get kicked out of school because of the relationship but that is the risk you take. Most that I know that develop these kind of relationship leave school voluntarily anyway. How many relationships are generally not acceptable but still happens?

 

That's my opinion as well. We shouldn't be adhere too much to these rules/ethics/norms. We take love where we find it.

no blame here.

no cares either if they moved on or broke up or whatever.

 

i do care, however, to say that consenting may not be the same as initiating, but it takes two to tango. so in a relationship that's generally frowned upon, i don't think it's fair to hold just one person accountable. to me, it's like saying that one's ignorance of the law makes him guilt-free and gives him a perfect excuse to get away with anything.

 

everything is a risk, but we don't always have to take love where we find it. love isn't just a feeling, it is also a choice.

 

 

 

[friendly0603]

i do care, however, to say that consenting may not be the same as initiating, but it takes two to tango. so in a relationship that's generally frowned upon, i don't think it's fair to hold just one person accountable. to me, it's like saying that one's ignorance of the law makes him guilt-free and gives him a perfect excuse to get away with anything.

 

everything is a risk, but we don't always have to take love where we find it. love isn't just a feeling, it is also a choice.

Most of the time we don't know what we are consenting to until it's too late. That's why I say some are taking advantage of the situation especially when vulnerabilities are concerned.

 

Going into a relationship maybe a choice. But I don't think Love is.

[maniaclara]

Most of the time we don't know what we are consenting to until it's too late. That's why I say some are taking advantage of the situation especially when vulnerabilities are concerned.

 

Going into a relationship maybe a choice. But I don't think Love is.

love is blind then.

or else, ignorant based on your first sentence.

 

oh well...

 

 

 

[friendly0603]

love is blind then.

or else, ignorant based on your first sentence.

oh well...

Has been said time again that love is blind and make fools out of intelligent people. However, ignorant I don't really agree to.

[darthvader0917]

Age is not a factor..my GF is half my age and we get along perfectly.

[friendly0603]

Age is not a factor..my GF is half my age and we get along perfectly.

Congrats!

Do you ever go out with her friends or she with your friends? What does her family say about you? vice versa?

[friendly0603]

I remember a friend calling her bf "lolo" and we all laughed about it. I'm sure if you were the bf you wouldn't appreciate those kinds of talk.

[erato]

I remember a friend calling her bf "lolo" and we all laughed about it. I'm sure if you were the bf you wouldn't appreciate those kinds of talk.

 

I agree. My mom used to refer to my dad as the old guy. I didn't find it cute or amusing at all.

[cHinitababe86]

parang award lang. most of the time earn alot of attention especially in public places.

it is considered different from the others lalo na if young ung isa, the other one obviously look much older

than he/she is.

madalas of those people are "usi".. wondering, and cguro the others, think negatively about it.

as for me, i really don't care about them, they dont know me, they also dont know my partner,

and how much happiness we have from each other whenever were together.

as what my lola said,

"kung saan ka masaya, basta wala kang naaapakang tao, other's comment wouldn't really matter, go for it."

[friendly0603]

There are girls who are after a father figure. Is there something psychological about their choice?

 

People can't help observe and make comments. Same with a handsome/beautiful person going out with someone not so attractive or with a young straight looking male going out with outlandishly gay older partner or a beautiful girl with a dude looking lesbo.

 

It's not the norm. For some, it's jealousy, gossip or whatever. They can't feel what you feel so they definitely won't understand until it happens to them or they know the both of you.

[JHP]

Someone mentioned norms and conventions, which serve to preserve order and stability in society. Like it or not, if you disregard them, you pay the price, one way or another, as in being subjected to manifestations of social disapproval (dirty looks and derogatory comments). At worst, you can go to jail (for statutory rape).

 

Each one draws his or her own line and limits -- between norms and conventions on one hand, and personal behavior on the other. And each one decides how much of a price he / she is willing to pay. Hell, a former boss once told me about someone he knew who ended up living with his daughter-in-law; what happened is she left her husband for his father. Imagine what kind of a price that would exact.

 

Myself, in a case where there are lines of authority and responsibility involved (she's a student or subordinate), i'd rather not get involved, because in a sense it's abuse and / or dereliction.

[cbr600rr]

Had a relationship with a girl. I was 11 years her seniour but didnt really matter because she introduced me to her parents as only 4 years older than her, and she got a way with it.

 

I draw the line when the girl works for me. Right at the very start, I tell the girls in my office na sorry na lang, as long as you work for me, I can't touch you. Kaya ayun, some of them nag-resign.