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Falling in Love with Someone When You Cannot...


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#1 Lian

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 05:38 PM

HOW WOULD YOU STAY AWAY FROM SOMEONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH?

IF...

...YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED

... YOU HAVE KIDS

... AND YOU DONT WANT TO HURT HER

... AND SHE/HE IS YOUR FRIEND'S BF/GF

... AND SHE/HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

#2 Guest_ginny_*

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 05:56 PM

If you really love her as you have claimed, you would know how... true love is not selfish.. ;)

Just think that you cannot offer her anything.. so give her a break and set her free.. surely, you will hurt her.. pero ganun din naman eh, if in case your wife finds out, iiwan mo rin naman sha di ba.. mas masakit pa kse mas magiging malalim na ang pinagsamahan nyo.. or worst, gusto mo bang masira ang pamilya mo? Mashadong maraming masasaktan. So, do think about it okey?

Goodluck! ;)



#3 Lian

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:12 PM

If you really love her as you have claimed, you would know how... true love is not selfish.. ;)

Just think that you cannot offer her anything.. so give her a break and set her free.. surely, you will hurt her.. pero ganun din naman eh, if in case your wife finds out, iiwan mo rin naman sha di ba.. mas masakit pa kse mas magiging malalim na ang pinagsamahan nyo.. or worst, gusto mo bang masira ang pamilya mo? Mashadong maraming masasaktan. So, do think about it okey?

Goodluck! ;)

thanks ginny!

i've tried already... twice na nga... both times... she ends up in a hospital... nag-try magpakamatay... :(

yeah i know.. i'm in a lose-lose situation right now.. ayokong masira family ko...pero ayoko rin namang may mangyari sa kanya na ako ang dahilan :unsure:

#4 Switlass

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:20 PM

um....divorce was brought up for what purpose again?

No, I am not pro divorce.
I just don't understand why you have to stay away if you were lucky enough to be loved back by somebody you truly love.
Ok, so you have complications.

I am confused about this. Very Much.
If i put myself in the wife's shoes, I would want the woman to die a terrible death for even thinking about taking what's mine. Of course, i would also want my husband to be loyal to me...

but if he has to ask about how he can stay away from someone..
then I no longer can call him mine.. right?

If i put myself in the other woman's shoes, as long as I feel happy, for as long as I am ok with the "situation" and understand all the rules, then I wouldn't want him to stay away from me... Future or no future.
My Life. I decide how I want to live it. If I want to live it as a man's other woman, so be it.

If i am to play the role of the kid, I would keep my mouth shut. My parents deserve to be happy, and even though it's noble to want to stay together to give me a good future.. It's not going to work. Individually, they deserve to be happy, if my father would be happier with another woman, so be it. I'm sure my mother won't be happy even if he stays with us if she knows in her heart that the only reason why he's staying is to "Keep the family together".

Lastly, if i am to play the role of the husband.. it's a matter of who is more valuable. Priorities. Do I love her as much as my wife? Is this just a passing thing? Will i tire of her soon? Will my wife ever forgive me? can i forgive myself if my wife can't?


#5 Switlass

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:23 PM

thanks ginny!

i've tried  already... twice na nga... both times... she ends up in a hospital... nag-try magpakamatay...  :( 

yeah i know.. i'm in a lose-lose situation right now.. ayokong masira family ko...pero ayoko rin namang may mangyari sa kanya na ako ang dahilan  :unsure:

How long have you been seeing each other nga pala?

I read somewhere that suicide attempts are made by people who know that it is an effective way of getting what they want.

Edited by swit_lass, 15 October 2003 - 06:24 PM.


#6 Lian

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:33 PM

um....divorce was brought up for what purpose again?

No, I am not pro divorce.
I just don't understand why you have to stay away if you were lucky enough to be loved back by somebody you truly love.
Ok, so you have complications.

I am confused about this. Very Much.
If i put myself in the wife's shoes, I would want the woman to die a terrible death for even thinking about taking what's mine. Of course, i would also want my husband to be loyal to me...

but if he has to ask about how he can stay away from someone..
then I no longer can call him mine.. right?

If i put myself in the other woman's shoes, as long as I feel happy, for as long as I am ok with the "situation" and understand all the rules, then I wouldn't want him to stay away from me... Future or no future.
My Life. I decide how I want to live it. If I want to live it as a man's other woman, so be it.

If i am to play the role of the kid, I would keep my mouth shut. My parents deserve to be happy, and even though it's noble to want to stay together to give me a good future.. It's not going to work. Individually, they deserve to be happy, if my father would be happier with another woman, so be it. I'm sure my mother won't be happy even if he stays with us if she knows in her heart that the only reason why he's staying is to "Keep the family together".

Lastly, if i am to play the role of the husband.. it's a matter of who is more valuable. Priorities. Do I love her as much as my wife? Is this just a passing thing? Will i tire of her soon? Will my wife ever forgive me? can i forgive myself if my wife can't?

nice one, swit! I hope everybody could be as open-minded as you are! :)

#7 Switlass

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:40 PM

thanks... I think. :unsure:

Given a choice though, I'd want to stay with my husband for as long as we love each other.. and when I go into marriage, it will be a lasting thing.

Should he fall inlove with somebody else, Sorry sya.

No divorce for me.

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#8 Guest_ginny_*

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:40 PM

If i am to play the role of the kid, I would keep my mouth shut. My parents deserve to be happy, and even though it's noble to want to stay together to give me a good future.. It's not going to work. Individually, they deserve to be happy, if my father would be happier with another woman, so be it. I'm sure my mother won't be happy even if he stays with us if she knows in her heart that the only reason why he's staying is to "Keep the family together".

Just wanna comment on this.. kids are just kids.. the way they would think depends on the level of their maturity. I've read so many cases wherein kids who came from a broken family got hooked on drugs, didn't finished school or married early.. I don't know really what's the effect on them but what I know.. based from statistics.. kids from a broken family don't grow up normally... if I were a parent.. I dont think I would like to risk on that.. I mean, risk the future of my kids.. surely, I love them more than myself.

Nweis, lian.. I just have one question for you.. do you still love your wife? From your reply to my post.. seemed that you really wanna let go of this girl just that she doesnt want to... so ibig sabihin, you already chose your family over her.. hmm.. siguro just be a friend to her na lang muna.. be there for her.. pero wag na kayo maging intimate. Make her realize na marami pang ibang lalake na mas higit sa yo. What do you think?


#9 vogharth

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:41 PM

thanks ginny!

i've tried already... twice na nga... both times... she ends up in a hospital... nag-try magpakamatay... :(

yeah i know.. i'm in a lose-lose situation right now.. ayokong masira family ko...pero ayoko rin namang may mangyari sa kanya na ako ang dahilan :unsure:

you just have to be tougher dude... i know that would hurt, but you just have to do what you have to do...

goodluck...

#10 Lian

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 06:53 PM

How long have you been seeing each other nga pala?

I read somewhere that suicide attempts are made by people who know that it is an effective way of getting what they want.

i've been seeing her for almost a year already... pero she's my gf long before i got married... naghiwalay lang kami 'cause nagpatuloy sya ng studies nya sa US... and i had to work abroad.Nawalan kami ng communication.

I think she got it (suicide thing) from being the only girl in their family... she have 5 brothers.. and she's the youngest.... lahat ng gusto nya nasusunod...

#11 Lian

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 07:00 PM

you just have to be tougher dude... i know that would hurt, but you just have to do what you have to do...

goodluck...

I thought i was tough... so many times i've convinced myself to leave her...

...but as an assh*le that i am.... i started to soften once i see her crying already...

... and at one time, lumuhod pa sa harap ko :(

..damn!

#12 Guest_BB_*

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 07:18 PM

remember this, dude. we are only responsible for ourselves and for our own actions. sounds cold but that's the way it is. i know it's easy to say and hard to do, but ultimately, everyone's fate is under their own control.

the threat of suicide is emotional blackmail, just like crying and all sorts of other s**t, some people pull. suck it up and do the right thing - you already know what you're supposed to do - quit procrastinating and just do it.

#13 Misteriosa

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 07:21 PM

hmmm... tough questions different scenarios but it would only lead to one thing....... how to stay away from the so-called "sinful" feeling..... it's a matter of choice and will...... there are some things that we do not because we want to do it but because it's the right thing to do.... it may not be based on norms but primarily on our own standards.... oh well.. it's still easier said than done....

i guess ill just cross the bridge when i get there.... errrrrr actually im approaching that bridge already.... darn <_<

#14 Lian

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 07:23 PM

Nweis, lian.. I just have one question for you.. do you still love your wife? From your reply to my post.. seemed that you really wanna let go of this girl just that she doesnt want to... so ibig sabihin, you already chose your family over her.. hmm.. siguro just be a friend to her na lang muna.. be there for her.. pero wag na kayo maging intimate. Make her realize na marami pang ibang lalake na mas higit sa yo. What do you think?
[/color]


know what?? i haven't exactly lost my love to my wife.... and yes you're right... i've decided to let go of her na, in favor of my family... pero getting it done is a completely different and difficult thing to do :(

may bf nga sya e.. mas guapo sa akin.. succesful sa career(surgeon sa 1 hospital s Oklahoma)..mabait.. at may prinsipyo... i know... kse he's my friend :( an'sama ko talaga 'no?


Too much love will k*ll you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover and the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster because you never read the signs
Too much love will k*ll you, every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go I have to lose

Oh too much love will k*ll you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will k*ll you, every time

Too much love will k*ll you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes too much love will k*ll you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will k*ll you
In the end


#15 Switlass

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 07:23 PM

based from statistics.. kids from a broken family don't grow up normally... if I were a parent.. I dont think I would like to risk on that.. I mean, risk the future of my kids.. surely, I love them more than myself.

I don't have any study to back me up on this, but from what I have observed, a child's future still depends on his way of life. There are kids who will really suffer, while there are kids who will only use the separation as an excuse to be ... "a special" case.

either it truly depresses them or just gives them a reason to become a "problem" .. I think I'd have to agree with you on this Ginny. I wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt my children's future.

hmmm... maybe we should start a thread for that..


I thought i was tough... so many times i've convinced myself to leave her...
..but as an assh*le that i am.... i started to soften once i see her crying already...
.. and at one time, lumuhod pa sa harap ko 
.damn! 


Noble.. but what do you get from her? i thought guys want to be proud of their women.. How can you be proud of someone who has lost her own self respect? I know about puting aside pride but self respect?? I don't mean to judge.. but maybe she's just using all those antics because she knows that those thinsg will get you...


I think she got it (suicide thing) from being the only girl in their family... she have 5 brothers.. and she's the youngest.... lahat ng gusto nya nasusunod...


[color="maroon"]this can't be the reason. I know of other people who are used to getting what they want.. and they wouldn't consider suicide nor throwing away self respect..

well. whatever happens, Good Luck.
Be strong for your family :)


#16 dhanefunclub

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 07:31 PM

4 me d best decision you can choose is d 1 wer u can find peace of mind...cguro u should tink of ur kids muna bago lahat... as for the girl i tink dat she should seek expert advice ... im not sayin she's crazy just in need of sum help 2 sort tings out in her life...it's not normal for a person 2 try 2 take away his/her life ....sensya na if medyo magulo ang sinasabi k ...nywayz jaz a tot "der is no such ting as a wrong decision only consequences" hope u make d ryt choice dude... it's not easy but i hope dat u stay strong

#17 mr_adventurous27

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 08:40 PM

kung saan ka masaya suportahan ta ka. if u really want to stay away from someone you love becase you know that a lot of people might get hurt. dont hesitate to do it, and be firm with ur decision.
swit lass is right, it is a matter of priorities. and also think of all the things na mawawala sayo if the relationship continues.
can u luv two person at the same time with the same intensity? pwede, but at one point in our life the decision to choose kung sino talaga ang gusto natin makasama for the rest of our lives is will come...and we must decide.
i'm glad our friend here chose her wife, again be firm with ur decision. wag kang makipagbargain. stay away from the girl completely, no ifs and buts, no condition. be a man.
and lastly, always remember.......
THE BEST GIFT A FATHER COULD GIVE TO HIS CHILDREN IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER.

#18 Switlass

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 09:46 PM

THE BEST GIFT A FATHER COULD GIVE TO HIS CHILDREN IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER.

i like this one..

#19 icedragon

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 09:50 PM

Don't get involved in the first place, kung alam mong magiging problema, hey just let it go!!!! thats the first and the best thing to do, kung ma-inlove ka eh, ok lang but make sure that maging mas inlove ka dun sa present partner mo, Being in-love is normal

#20 dermaboy

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Posted 15 October 2003 - 09:59 PM

just stop thinking 'bout it being so complicated. it's simple, you both made a choice & so the separation. it's no accident. furthermore, you decided to got married & have kids. a mistake? funny....peace...




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