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Friends With Benefits - How to Handle? (Merged with FUBU rules)


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#41 friendly0603

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Posted 13 March 2007 - 12:11 PM

ms. iwalk :) I do know what I'm saying. Yung unreciprocated love, I know about it. Nagmahal nga ako sa isa na may mahal na iba eh. Wala nga lang kaming relationship. Coz one way lang, pero at the time payag akong maging #2 bf. Kc ayaw nya give up #1 eh.

Pagtinanong nya ako, eh di mag-fubu kami. Kung sabihin nya mahal nya ako, mahal ko din siya. I really care naman. Ganun ba magmahal? Dapat may kapalit? Do you think that's right?

Mahirap nga pero that's how love is. My love used to be selfish din before. Kasi puro kapalit puro kailangan tumbasan.

Kunwari may mahal ka, tumulong give time, effort, money, feelings etc when she needed it. Tapos di nya tinatapatan. Anong gagawin mo? Nagbigay ka eh that's love. Yung loving back, hindi dapat condition...

ex ko ngayon nasa ibang bansa, borrowed money to help out her family. i gave kc meron ako to give at the time. Ngayon ni hindi ko alam pano kontact to get my money... (example lang ito). mahal ko sya, tinulungan ko sya. sya na bahala kung lolokohin nya ako.

Kunwari ako bf or fubu mo at the time, you met someone na more interesting (rich, gwapo, mas well endowed) - if that rocks your boat di ba? I'm just thankful na minahal mo ako. gusto ko maging close pa din tayo pero kung ayaw ng girl -wag pilitin...

Does love need defintion? Magmahal ka ng tunay puro kapalit ang gusto kasi eh.

#42 iwalkalone

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Posted 13 March 2007 - 01:26 PM

ms. iwalk :) I do know what I'm saying. Yung unreciprocated love, I know about it. Nagmahal nga ako sa isa na may mahal na iba eh. Wala nga lang kaming relationship. Coz one way lang, pero at the time payag akong maging #2 bf. Kc ayaw nya give up #1 eh.


alam mo naman palaaah...naranasan mo naman palaaaah....e bat gagawin mo pa sa ibaaah????

Pagtinanong nya ako, eh di mag-fubu kami. Kung sabihin nya mahal nya ako, mahal ko din siya. I really care naman. Ganun ba magmahal? Dapat may kapalit? Do you think that's right?

sasabihin mo FUBU kayo?...talaga lang huh :D kung ganun ba magmahal dapat may kapalit?...oo natural pag mahal ka ng tao...dapat mahal mo din sya...kung di mo sya mahal wag mo syang pakialaman...ganun lang yon.

Mahirap nga pero that's how love is. My love used to be selfish din before. Kasi puro kapalit puro kailangan tumbasan.

so ngayun ang ibig mong sabihin...ikaw pa ngayon yung nagmamahal pero di naghihintay na mahalin? i don't think so...mag co-contrdict yan sa mga una mong sinabi.... gaya ng sabi ko...yung pagtulong sa FUBU mo is not enough proof para masabi mong mahal mo nga sya talaga..bakit kamo...kase yung pagtulong na yun sa FUBU...may kapalit din naman yun...she pleases you and all.... o edi may kapalit din mga binibigay mo. Diba di mo ma commit ang heart mo sa kanya...o kahit mabigyan man lang ng disenteng title ang relationship nyo?....pano mo masasabing nasusuklian mo yung pagmamahal nung babae sayo...e samantalang ...di naman nabibili ng pera ang pagmamahal...di yon katumbas ng kahit ano pang materyal na bagay. Therefore...bakit mo minemaintain ang FUBU mo kahit alam mo nang mahal ka nya at nasasaktan sya dahil gusto nyang mahalin mo sya...pero di mo naman talaga kaya...bakit? di ba yan ang selfishness? and you actually believe na....ang kapalit ng hinihinging pagmamahal ay ang bigyan sya ng mga kailangan nya? hah!

Kunwari may mahal ka, tumulong give time, effort, money, feelings etc when she needed it. Tapos di nya tinatapatan. Anong gagawin mo? Nagbigay ka eh that's love. Yung loving back, hindi dapat condition...

okey....so....tuloy tuloy mo pa rin bang gagawin yan kahit di naman nya tinatapatan?....for a certain time siguro ...pero yung di mo tatantanan....i doubt....di ka kaya mag mukhang obsessed at baliw na nun? :rolleyes:

ex ko ngayon nasa ibang bansa, borrowed money to help out her family. i gave kc meron ako to give at the time. Ngayon ni hindi ko alam pano kontact to get my money... (example lang ito). mahal ko sya, tinulungan ko sya. sya na bahala kung lolokohin nya ako.

oh yes...pero nag iisip karin ngayon how to get your money back...or if that's not your case...halimbawang mamaya...tumawag ulit sya sayo...nanghiram ulit...pahihiramin mo pa?...tas mag di-disappear sya ulit...tas isang araw ulit habang nasa CR ka tumawag nanaman...hihiram nanaman...ano?...ganun ka ba talaga? Sheeezh...get real. anyways...papuntang Cubao na ata tong tinatahak ng discussion natin... <_< parang di para dito tong sinasabi mo...dapat to sa...
Is it really love or is it Plain Insane?


Kunwari ako bf or fubu mo at the time, you met someone na more interesting (rich, gwapo, mas well endowed) - if that rocks your boat di ba? I'm just thankful na minahal mo ako. gusto ko maging close pa din tayo pero kung ayaw ng girl -wag pilitin...

Does love need defintion? Magmahal ka ng tunay puro kapalit ang gusto kasi eh.


sorry ...di para sakin yang tanong mo....ako po ay faithful...one man woman...loyal..trustworthy..uto-uto...martyr..ako yung tipo na nag mumukmok lang sa bahay at nag aantay ng tawag ng labs ko....pag nakipag affair ako..sa isa lang talaga...ni indi ako nakikipag date...wutever...at di ako nagkakainteres sa iba while i'm in a relationship. Hokey na?

P.S. Pag nagmahal ka ng tunay...natural lang na wala ng iba pang mas tatamis na kapalit dun kundi ang mahalin ka rin ng minamahal mo.... yun lang ang tamang kapalit ng pagmamahal...pagmamahal din...hindi half-baked na pag mamahal...hindi libreng toma o pulutan...hindi pera...hindi shopping...at kung ano-ano pa. malapit na akong mainis kaya sana itaktak mo sa ulo mo yan. hokeeeey?


Edited by iwalkalone, 13 March 2007 - 01:27 PM.


#43 friendly0603

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Posted 13 March 2007 - 01:49 PM

kaya nga po to each his own :) very focal tayo about our points of view.

alam mo naman palaaah...naranasan mo naman palaaaah....e bat gagawin mo pa sa ibaaah????

meron bang mali sa magmahal ng walang kapalit? Kaya nga kahit nasasaktan ka tanggap mo pa din, kasi masaya ka pa rin kahit papa-ano. Parang pag gf mo na bawal dahil strict ang parents. so secret relationship mo, kahit gusto mo ipagsigawan mo sa mundo pretend ka lang. it's still better than nothing.

sasabihin mo FUBU kayo?...talaga lang huh kung ganun ba magmahal dapat may kapalit?...oo natural pag mahal ka ng tao...dapat mahal mo din sya...kung di mo sya mahal wag mo syang pakialaman...ganun lang yon.


Yes, if this is our relationship - then fubu lang. Do you love your parents, siblings? Meron ba dapat kapalit yun? mahal ka nila no matter what? Hindi natural yung may kapalit.

okey....so....tuloy tuloy mo pa rin bang gagawin yan kahit di naman nya tinatapatan?....for a certain time siguro ...pero yung di mo tatantanan....i doubt....di ka kaya mag mukhang obsessed at baliw na nun?

yes, it's been going on for quite some time. wag mo na tanong how long? basta nand2 ako if she needs me.

oh yes...pero nag iisip karin ngayon how to get your money back...or if that's not your case...halimbawang mamaya...tumawag ulit sya sayo...nanghiram ulit...pahihiramin mo pa?...tas mag di-disappear sya ulit...tas isang araw ulit habang nasa CR ka tumawag nanaman...hihiram nanaman...ano?...ganun ka ba talaga? Sheeezh...get real. anyways...papuntang Cubao na ata tong tinatahak ng discussion natin... parang di para dito tong sinasabi mo...dapat to sa...
Is it really love or is it Plain Insane?

siyempre natural na isipin yun dahil pinaghirapan mo naman yun and it was a loan not a gift. if you are special to me, pagbibigyan kita. wag mo lang ako lolokohin. ganun din naman ako sa friends ko eh.

she pleases you and all

you always use sex as kapalit. di ba puwede naman makuha yan sa iba sa may bayad directly for that? if that's what the guy wants. Guys can pay for that.

we have different views/experiences. This makes me happy. That makes you happy. -- Kanina ko pa sinasabi good for you....

Di kita papakialaman....

Edited by friendly0603, 13 March 2007 - 01:50 PM.


#44 iwalkalone

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Posted 13 March 2007 - 02:36 PM

kaya nga po to each his own :) very focal tayo about our points of view.
meron bang mali sa magmahal ng walang kapalit? Kaya nga kahit nasasaktan ka tanggap mo pa din, kasi masaya ka pa rin kahit papa-ano. Parang pag gf mo na bawal dahil strict ang parents. so secret relationship mo, kahit gusto mo ipagsigawan mo sa mundo pretend ka lang. it's still better than nothing.


sa totoo lang you're out of line...Friends with benefits ang topic dito... pano napasok gf? at ex mo na inuutangan ka? *haiz

Yes, if this is our relationship - then fubu lang.

well i don't know about you...some guys won't really admit to that...masyado namang brutal kase yun pag nagtanong na yung FUBU mo kung mag ano ba kayo....some guys would rather say...friends...or activity partner..lover...basta hindi girl-friend.


Do you love your parents, siblings? Meron ba dapat kapalit yun? mahal ka nila no matter what? Hindi natural yung may kapalit.
yes, it's been going on for quite some time. wag mo na tanong how long? basta nand2 ako if she needs me.
siyempre natural na isipin yun dahil pinaghirapan mo naman yun and it was a loan not a gift. if you are special to me, pagbibigyan kita. wag mo lang ako lolokohin. ganun din naman ako sa friends ko eh.

out of line.

you always use sex as kapalit. di ba puwede naman makuha yan sa iba sa may bayad directly for that? if that's what the guy wants. Guys can pay for that.

exactly so why get a FUBU?

we have different views/experiences. This makes me happy. That makes you happy. -- Kanina ko pa sinasabi good for you....

what? what's good about what? yung natauhan na ko? howell...had my share.

Di kita papakialaman....

haay salamat. :flowers:



#45 friendly0603

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Posted 13 March 2007 - 03:01 PM

sa totoo lang you're out of line...Friends with benefits ang topic dito... pano napasok gf? at ex mo na inuutangan ka? *haiz

paano napasok ang gf? i said parang gf? :D Yung ex- kaya nga ex, fubu na lang after naging ex .... :D

well i don't know about you...some guys won't really admit to that...masyado namang brutal kase yun pag nagtanong na yung FUBU mo kung mag ano ba kayo....some guys would rather say...friends...or activity partner..lover...basta hindi girl-friend.

whatever way you say it, fubu pa din ang meaning ng guy dun.

exactly so why get a FUBU?

coz you do more than that. if i was a guy na totally after just sex lang. then i'd go for that the payment thing. kaso sometimes it's like a really good friend with sex as a topping or extra.

what? what's good about what? yung natauhan na ko? howell...had my share.

I said good for you that yan ang view mo.

Thank you din... (sinagot ko lang yung mga tanong mo para di open-ended). i'd rather have short happy moments.

PEACE!!!

To the thread starter, basta decide for yourself. Dont worry be happy. :) Sa akin basta masaya kayo, no need to define what you are. These are just labels. Look at Gretchen/Kris/etc.

Edited by friendly0603, 13 March 2007 - 03:03 PM.


#46 iwalkalone

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Posted 13 March 2007 - 07:54 PM

coz you do more than that. if i was a guy na totally after just sex lang. then i'd go for that the payment thing. kaso sometimes it's like a really good friend with sex as a topping or extra.

.





did you know na pwede mo ring magawa lahat yan sa isang MPA or GRO?..pwede ding manood ng sine...gimmick...motel...kahit ano........basta ba may budget tuwing jokard nyo..( may extra charge nga lang pag lumagpas sa half day :P ) .atleast no strings attached. yun ang totoong magandang "deal"

yun ang fair...yun ang klarong klaro sa babae.....mas maiiwasan dun ang ma develop feelings nung babae...

alam mo kase...once na develop na yung feelings nung ka FUBU mo at di mo mareciprocate yon...you may not be aware...pero sinisira mo sya...lahat-lahat...imagine...binigay nya sayo lahat...tingin mo wala syang inaaasahan dun na baka sakali mahalin mo din sya dahil sa pinapakita nya sayo?... *haiz...bakit ba hindi nyo maintindihan to? :cry:

Edited by iwalkalone, 13 March 2007 - 07:59 PM.


#47 friendly0603

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 08:16 AM

this i found really funny. So you want guys to pay for an MPA/GRO to do other stuff. I don't think you actually pay for those unless you really have no friends. Will you pay for a guy to watch a movie with you just so you don't develop feelings? (maybe you will) - this is not financially sound idea though. if you're paying for something, i don't think meron ma-dedevelop talaga though this still happens (sa mga guys/MPAs).

we won't understand kasi this is not how our mind works. Di namin intention na masira kayo. What is lahat ba?

Lagi kasi kayo nag-focus dun sa negative. Meron nagsabi sa akin nito "ayaw nya kami mag-meet kasi maghihiwalay kami at the end of the day".

So the point/value of being happy spending time with me is not equal to
the heartache of separation. So it's not better wag magkita para walang hiwalayan or heartache. Ako, I'd rather focus on the happiness side than preventing anything from hurting you.

Kung iiwasan mo lahat that could hurt you, then nothing will make you happy too. Parang "Nemo", ayaw ng tatay na masaktan anak nya kaya ayaw niya itong maka-experience ng buhay.

Ayaw ko din masaktan ulit dati, pero I still love kasi nothing will happen. Di ako ma-hurt pero di din ako masaya. If that's what you want, then do that. I learned to try instead of not trying. if you always put a wall, hanggang dun lang relationship mo.

Kung takot ka mahulog sa bike, wag ka mag-bike. (just an analogy)

I even thought of ma-hurt ko lang kung sino ang partner ko coz I stil love someone else, pero yung prospective partners ko niloko lang ng kung sinu-sino. Iningatan ko sila pero ginago lang din. Di sana na-experience ko being with them rather than not and pareho kami nagkaroon ng magandang experience.

#48 iwalkalone

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 11:40 AM

So the point/value of being happy spending time with me is not equal to
the heartache of separation.




YES!!! YESSS!!! ...nakuha mo rin! :rolleyes:

isang tanong na lang...so may FUBU ka...na inlove sayo...sabi nya mahal ka na nya...sabi mo kanina...sasabihin mo...mahal mo rin sya...(pero sa isip mo...ibang klaseng pag mamahal lang...tama?...indi yung love na hinihingi nya...and you expect her to settle for that..kase yun lang talaga eh...right?)
so ganito... humihingi na ngayon ng commitment yung FUBU mo gusto nya magkaron na ng title relationship nyo...kase nga naman di naman yata mapagmamalaki yung...pag may nagtanong sa kanya..."Huy mag ano na ba kayo?....ang isasagot ba nya "eh mag FUBU kame...hehe :blush: "...o kaya.."eh...Friends kame with benefits...hehe :blush: "...ampanget naman diba?...so yun nga gusto nya maging official BF - GF na kayo.....anong gagawin mo...? please be honest hokey?


btw. this thing you mentioned on what a FUBU is ...... sometimes it's like a really good friend with sex as a topping or extra it's quite disturbing...cus i don't think you should really be f#&king your friends....you f#&k prostitutes (you pay)...you f#&k your lover (cus of love)..... you f#&k people just for the heck of f#&king...that is quite perverted...ewan ha...sakin lang.

Edited by iwalkalone, 14 March 2007 - 11:49 AM.


#49 b_9904

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 03:18 PM

^when a fubu demands something... expect that she will lose everything. she wont get the guy even...

anyway, you could DO a friend. it is not perverted. it is normal... tawag ng laman yan

#50 iwalkalone

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 03:33 PM

^when a fubu demands something... expect that she will lose everything. she wont get the guy even...



very honest.....thank you :)



anyway, you could DO a friend. it is not perverted. it is normal... tawag ng laman yan

you shouldn't f#&k your friends.
friends are friends...
you can't be real friends with someone...*hay tagalugin ko na nga! nahihirapan na ko mag ingles bah!:P
... with someone na kaya mong ilagay sa line yung faith nya sayo...yung tiwala nya...yung alam mong posibleng masasaktan mo sya in the end...

di mo gagawin yun sa kaibigan...diba? :blink:



#51 capt KK

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 03:41 PM

Friends with Benefits??? pretty girls from the south (d dirty south) pm me, can we be friends :)

#52 Waterbearer

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 04:00 PM

Friends with benefits? I know some friends with benefits....For as long as you are both single and available and having a lot of fun doing it....i don't see anything wrong.....now if one of you demands commitment.....then stop. Sex is sex.....Walang na-agrabyado dito.....you both use each other....

Usong uso sa mga kabataan ito ngayon.....kahit hindi magsyota....pagnaimpluwensyahan ng alak....kaboom....instant FUBU....after that, parang walang nangyari.......next time ulit. Im not saying its right for minors to engage in sex....im just saying that the only permanent thing in this world is change....times change.

Edited by Waterbearer, 14 March 2007 - 04:14 PM.


#53 THUG

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 04:01 PM

pag friend, friend lang..walang attraction yun e..

i disagree that you could f#&k a long time friend.. parang di ako at ease dun.. kakailang.. its like im f#&king a close relative like a cousin..

---

although i had a friend with benefit.. pero we started with sex . not as mere friends.. we had sex first, then became friends.. its difficult when you start as friends then have sex..

#54 friendly0603

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 04:17 PM

did you watch "when harry met sally" - meron pa ring normal attraction sa friends kaya men and women can't really be friends. - their opinion.

did you watch "dawson's creek"? lipat-lipat ng gf within the group. meron ba complain? mas masaya ka pa nga dahil masaya na sya ngayon with a friend that you trust.

Dito lang sa pinas gusto na hindi kilala ang ka-sex or gf/bf mo para you can hate them afterwards if it doesn't work out.

Actually mas ok pa nga dapat if ur friends and you do it, you trust this person na walang sakit na ihahawa ka. or someone na hindi kiss and tell. Kesa kung sinong tao dya na you dont know past history etc. kaya nagkakaroon ng mga scandals eh. :)

like i said i avoided this at first kasi mahirap nga pag friend mo tapos it doesn't work out, nagiging awkward pero i think it's better to have experienced that relationship than not and always wondering. you preserved the friendship but at the end sometimes those friends still leave you anyway.

people always equate sex with a dirty deed, sa akin hindi. it's something special that you can share.

it is also something dirty if you use it in another context. I dont judge those that do that.

#55 Waterbearer

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 04:22 PM

para namang sa MTC hindi nangyayari itoh susme :lol:

Edited by Waterbearer, 14 March 2007 - 04:36 PM.


#56 THUG

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 04:33 PM

did you watch "when harry met sally" - meron pa ring normal attraction sa friends kaya men and women can't really be friends. - their opinion.

did you watch "dawson's creek"? lipat-lipat ng gf within the group. meron ba complain? mas masaya ka pa nga dahil masaya na sya ngayon with a friend that you trust.

Dito lang sa pinas gusto na hindi kilala ang ka-sex or gf/bf mo para you can hate them afterwards if it doesn't work out.

Actually mas ok pa nga dapat if ur friends and you do it, you trust this person na walang sakit na ihahawa ka. or someone na hindi kiss and tell. Kesa kung sinong tao dya na you dont know past history etc. kaya nagkakaroon ng mga scandals eh. :)

like i said i avoided this at first kasi mahirap nga pag friend mo tapos it doesn't work out, nagiging awkward pero i think it's better to have experienced that relationship than not and always wondering. you preserved the friendship but at the end sometimes those friends still leave you anyway.

people always equate sex with a dirty deed, sa akin hindi. it's something special that you can share.

it is also something dirty if you use it in another context. I dont judge those that do that.



mahirap kase aside sa inyo marami kayong connection with other friends..like friends mo na din mga friends nya.. and friends nya din mga friends mo.. kakahiya pag mali yung approach mo or it did not work out.. sira ka sa mga ibang kaibigan mo.. :thumbsdownsmiley:

at syempre ganun din sa part nun girl.. baka mabansagan pa syang pokpok, nympho, at maduming babae ng mga friends nya at friends ng guy.. kakahiya yun..

#57 b_9904

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 05:06 PM

iwalkalone:

You do it to a fridn kasi GUSTO din ng friend mo na matikaman ka.

ist conensual... nothing is wrong about that.

buti sana if ni-rape mo yung gril.

#58 iwalkalone

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 05:24 PM

mahirap kase aside sa inyo marami kayong connection with other friends..like friends mo na din mga friends nya.. and friends nya din mga friends mo.. kakahiya pag mali yung approach mo or it did not work out.. sira ka sa mga ibang kaibigan mo.. :thumbsdownsmiley:

at syempre ganun din sa part nun girl.. baka mabansagan pa syang pokpok, nympho, at maduming babae ng mga friends nya at friends ng guy.. kakahiya yun..


abah tingnan mo nga naman yan...may mga bagay din palang mag aagree tayo :blink: :D

iwalkalone:

You do it to a fridn kasi GUSTO din ng friend mo na matikaman ka.

ist conensual... nothing is wrong about that.

buti sana if ni-rape mo yung gril.


yeah ok lang nga kung sana ganun talaga kalinaw ang lahat..(at kung gusto ko lang din sana syang tikman)....sana nga kung sasabihin sayo upfront..."Gusto lang kase kitang matikman"....edi sana nakapag disappearing act agad ako...but that's not the case...*hays... and he didn't even mention the "F" word! :grr: (FUBU) :P

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 05:37 PM

YES!!! YESSS!!! ...nakuha mo rin! :rolleyes:

isang tanong na lang...so may FUBU ka...na inlove sayo...sabi nya mahal ka na nya...sabi mo kanina...sasabihin mo...mahal mo rin sya...(pero sa isip mo...ibang klaseng pag mamahal lang...tama?...indi yung love na hinihingi nya...and you expect her to settle for that..kase yun lang talaga eh...right?)
so ganito... humihingi na ngayon ng commitment yung FUBU mo gusto nya magkaron na ng title relationship nyo...kase nga naman di naman yata mapagmamalaki yung...pag may nagtanong sa kanya..."Huy mag ano na ba kayo?....ang isasagot ba nya "eh mag FUBU kame...hehe :blush: "...o kaya.."eh...Friends kame with benefits...hehe :blush: "...ampanget naman diba?...so yun nga gusto nya maging official BF - GF na kayo.....anong gagawin mo...? please be honest hokey?
btw. this thing you mentioned on what a FUBU is ...... sometimes it's like a really good friend with sex as a topping or extra it's quite disturbing...cus i don't think you should really be f#&king your friends....you f#&k prostitutes (you pay)...you f#&k your lover (cus of love)..... you f#&k people just for the heck of f#&king...that is quite perverted...ewan ha...sakin lang.


iwa,

fubus are two adults consenting to have sex. and that is all you wanted from each other in the first place. in due time, maybe they'll become real friends, maybe they wont. and you dont to announce to the world that you're fubus anyway. so what's the big deal!?

#60 b_9904

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Posted 14 March 2007 - 05:51 PM

yeah ok lang nga kung sana ganun talaga kalinaw ang lahat..(at kung gusto ko lang din sana syang tikman)....sana nga kung sasabihin sayo upfront..."Gusto lang kase kitang matikman"....edi sana nakapag disappearing act agad ako...but that's not the case...*hays... and he didn't even mention the "F" word! :grr: (FUBU) :P


in that sense... he is not a friend. he used you and you allowed him to use you.




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