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#1 Hide in Bush

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Posted 11 May 2018 - 09:26 AM

I've been a lurker here since forever. I've been around since 2007 I think through a co-worker. I've only been active on the spa threads and looking up FRs and sex techniques.

 

I've thought of creating a thread here where I can dump all things in my head (both wholesome and not wholesome). It's tough when you really can't share to anyone open minded enough to listen to your ramblings.

 

So, moving forward, I'll do my best to be active on the boards. I realized after chatting with some of y'all, you're all not about sex and s@%t. You guys actually make sense when it is appropriate.

 

That's all for now. Gotta get back to work :)



#2 glyr

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 02:19 AM

We need that from time to time. Our thoughts and "waste thoughts" needs an outlet to be purged else you may and can do some not so great things or find yourself in sticky situations. Good for you.



#3 misteryoso168

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 02:37 AM

Agree bud

#4 Hide in Bush

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 11:29 PM

We need that from time to time. Our thoughts and "waste thoughts" needs an outlet to be purged else you may and can do some not so great things or find yourself in sticky situations. Good for you.

 

 

Hey, thanks for the visit man.


When I'm going through episodes of depression, I found it useful to write down what's in my head. It acts as a release somehow and helps me get over with whatever's bothering me. 


Agree bud

 

 

Yo, thanks!

I've been busy this weekend. I noticed that if I'm idle, my mind goes full on hyper active and I keep thinking of the cringe worthy stuff I did when I was younger. It f#&ks up my head thinking of it so I try to keep busy.



#5 Hide in Bush

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 11:33 PM

RAMBLE #1:

 

So basically my weekend was kind uneventful but productive nonetheless. Played basketball and video games with friends and finally got my butt off my couch to start reading. Admittedly, these aren't those self help books for enlightenment; it's "Ready Player One." Loved the story; kind disappointed that the movies go into detail on what's in the book.

 

Looking forward to a shortened work week and I pray I have enough motivation to make myself useful.


Edited by Hide in Bush, 14 May 2018 - 11:39 PM.

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#6 glyr

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Posted 14 May 2018 - 11:55 PM

Hey, thanks for the visit man.
When I'm going through episodes of depression, I found it useful to write down what's in my head. It acts as a release somehow and helps me get over with whatever's bothering me.


I usually read a book. I did write before but looking back I became afraid of what's inside my head. I'm still in the procees of changing the way I think even if everything around is bleak (I apologise for being cynical).

Atleast, as you've said, it's a short work week. We can definitely look forward to that. 👌

Edited by glyr, 15 May 2018 - 12:00 AM.


#7 Hide in Bush

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 09:32 AM

RAMBLE #2:

Why am I not happy?

 

Actually, I don't really know. If anyone here knew me in real life they would say I have very decent life that people on the streets would take if they had the chance and I totally agree.

 

Why am I not happy?

 

Maybe it's because I'm envious? Jealous of the people who are doing something that they are passionate about while I'm doing something I'm not really fond of but it helps get food on the table and pay the bills?

 

Why am I not happy?

 

I'm not really sure to be honest. I just try to keep busy all the time so that I won't even think about it. It's tough when people compare you to others when you know for a fact you are unique. I believe people who look at me think that I'm a made man, an extrovert but really it's all a facade.

 

Why am I not happy?

 

I hope I eventually figure it out. Getting out of the bed and preparing for work is so dreadful. I guess it's because I'm doing too much for someone else' benefit and not for mine? Maybe, but I have to and don't really have a choice. 

Why am I not happy?

Maybe I have a perverted idea on what I consider happy? Most of the time I'm content with what I have, but then I compare what I have with what others have which is bad on my part.

Why am I not happy?

 

I miss my friends. Since we're all at our tito and tita phase, we've all been busy with something. I just hope I figure out my life's calling someday before it's too late.

Too much drama for now. Time to get busy :)



#8 bonkeroo

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Posted 21 May 2018 - 04:26 AM

Hi HIB! I'll call you HIB :)

Happy to have stumbled upon your thread. I think we're in the same age range, because I'm having same sentiments about life right now.

I would suggest Saul Bellow's Herzog for your next read. Keep on getting busy and you'll eventually stumble on happiness. 



#9 deepheavythoughts

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Posted 21 May 2018 - 01:38 PM

I like this Thread let me if i may...

 

Why am I not happy?

 

Maybe because I feel like I'm under utilize...

 

Why am I not happy?

 

From time to time I get very depressed and don't know where to put it all.

 

Why am I not Happy?

 

Because I wake up everyday to the same scenario and It's really giving me a hard time....



#10 Hide in Bush

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Posted 22 May 2018 - 08:13 AM

Hi HIB! I'll call you HIB :)

Happy to have stumbled upon your thread. I think we're in the same age range, because I'm having same sentiments about life right now.

I would suggest Saul Bellow's Herzog for your next read. Keep on getting busy and you'll eventually stumble on happiness. 

 

 

Hey there!

I'm 36 years old; I'm guessing you're younger. I read the Wikipedia TL;DR of Herzog and it seems really heavy and depressing :( it also isn't available in National Bookstore nor Fully Booked. Where did you get your copy?


EDIT: Nice Wukong Avatar btw.


Edited by Hide in Bush, 22 May 2018 - 08:14 AM.

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#11 Hide in Bush

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Posted 22 May 2018 - 08:30 AM

I like this Thread let me if i may...

 

Why am I not happy?

 

Maybe because I feel like I'm under utilize...

 

Why am I not happy?

 

From time to time I get very depressed and don't know where to put it all.

 

Why am I not Happy?

 

Because I wake up everyday to the same scenario and It's really giving me a hard time....

 

 

Hey man, thanks for posting!

 

I'm not sure what you do for a living but how do you feel you are under utilize? I'm somewhat the same because I feel like I would flourish more in the eSports/Video Game/Sports in general which is non-existent or under-developed in the Philippines. I've been part of these industries as a participant and as an organizer and it feels exhilarating that I want it to be my profession but alas I'm little too late.

 

I too get depressed at times but thankfully enough, it's not to the point I would k*ll myself. It's just a challenge to get up in the morning and face people. I think social media destroyed me because I can easily see people having a good time and tend to compare my life to theirs. I'm not sure what's causing your depression, but just so you know, you have a brother here going through the same thing. We'll pull through man.

About waking up to the same scenario, I feel you. We can easily change our routine but sometimes it takes time and money for it to change. What I've done is take baby steps towards adding variety to my day. So far, I've started coming to work early. My work starts at 8:30 AM and I'm already here by 7:30 AM. In a corny way, it helps me feel accomplished already. To quote Arnold Schwarzenegger:

 

Look for small victories and build on that. Each small victory, even if it is just getting up 5 minutes earlier, gives you confidence. You realize that these little victories make you feel great, and you keep going. You realize that being paralyzed by fear of failure is worse than failure.


#12 Hide in Bush

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Posted 22 May 2018 - 08:34 AM

RAMBLE #3:

 

I had a "staycation" last weekend but it's odd that I feel exhausted. I'm actually looking forward to the weekend for an activity I actually like doing and I know it's going to be fun. 

 

I've been trying to stay positive amids my battle with depression. I even plan to having Zumba in my living room. I know it would be funny to see an overweight, 36 year old dude dancing in his living room but I feel like it's much more fun compared to running and lifting weights. Plus, I think it would be a bonus for me when I casually drop that I enjoy Zumba to the titas who join the weekly Zumba sessions at our area :P



#13 bonkeroo

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Posted 22 May 2018 - 03:27 PM

 

 

Hey there!

I'm 36 years old; I'm guessing you're younger. I read the Wikipedia TL;DR of Herzog and it seems really heavy and depressing :( it also isn't available in National Bookstore nor Fully Booked. Where did you get your copy?


EDIT: Nice Wukong Avatar btw.

 

I'm in my entering the thirties stage :) Herzog's ending is well worth it, when I was reading that, my depression stage has been uplifted although not quite removed totally in my life. I guess the book carries you to that heavy journey then gives you that satisfying reward/answer at the end.

I actually got mine in National Bookstore at the classic aisle, last copy grabbed as soon as I've locked my eyes on it. If I remember correctly, I've been looking for it for months before finally sa NB lang pala meron. 

I guess you play MOBA games too! xD

Another book suggestion: Horns by Joe Hill (Stephen King's son)



#14 Hide in Bush

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Posted 23 May 2018 - 10:33 AM

 
I'm in my entering the thirties stage :) Herzog's ending is well worth it, when I was reading that, my depression stage has been uplifted although not quite removed totally in my life. I guess the book carries you to that heavy journey then gives you that satisfying reward/answer at the end.

I actually got mine in National Bookstore at the classic aisle, last copy grabbed as soon as I've locked my eyes on it. If I remember correctly, I've been looking for it for months before finally sa NB lang pala meron. 

I guess you play MOBA games too! xD

Another book suggestion: Horns by Joe Hill (Stephen King's son)


Yep I play MOBAs to reset my brain from all thr craziness of life. Thanks for the book suggestions. Order ko na lang from NBS para sureball may copy hehe

Edited by Hide in Bush, 23 May 2018 - 10:33 AM.


#15 Hide in Bush

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Posted 24 May 2018 - 10:18 AM

RAMBLE #4:

Someone is asking me to be more productive at night; he tells me that just relegating time at home as resting time is for poor people. In a way, he is right but I'm having trouble being productive at home in terms of work especially if there is nothing worth to be busy for. With the 24 hours everyone is given, I spend around 12 hours a day outside of my house for work; SUPPOSEDLY 8 hours for sleep but in reality it's only 6 hours which leaves me with 6 hours to do whatever I want. Sounds excessive for some but work is the last thing on my mind once I get home.

 

Right now, I'm just trying to get excited with my monotonous day. Looking for the small things that would make it different.

(Okay, my mind went blank. I'll just continue this later).



#16 bonkeroo

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Posted 26 May 2018 - 06:14 PM

Depends on your body, but to see what fits you, you need to try. Whoever told you that is right! Gary Vaynerchuk mentality!
And good for you that work mode is cancelled out when you're home. Can't seem to do that since my work requires me to think of it even outside of work hours.

I was aiming for 3-4 hrs. sleep, turns out di ko kaya, nagkakasakit ako. So I adjusted, 6-8 hrs. is the rest length for me.

Have fun maximizing that 6 hours you got! Lessen the moba, I only have Smite to play, got my avatar from that game too.



#17 nila

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Posted 27 May 2018 - 07:54 AM

 
 
This sexy and independent escort girl from Marseille will give you pleasure and an unforgettable night

Edited by nila, 27 May 2018 - 07:54 AM.


#18 Hide in Bush

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 11:51 AM

Depends on your body, but to see what fits you, you need to try. Whoever told you that is right! Gary Vaynerchuk mentality!
And good for you that work mode is cancelled out when you're home. Can't seem to do that since my work requires me to think of it even outside of work hours.

I was aiming for 3-4 hrs. sleep, turns out di ko kaya, nagkakasakit ako. So I adjusted, 6-8 hrs. is the rest length for me.

Have fun maximizing that 6 hours you got! Lessen the moba, I only have Smite to play, got my avatar from that game too.

 

 

I guess I'll only get to focus on work while I'm at home is when I'm working for a side project of mine that I'm really passionate about. My normal routine when I get home is to pick my wife from work, eat dinner with her, give her a massage to help her sleep, then play 1-2 games of League of Legends then bed time. Really routinary but since I haven't lost my mind yet, then maybe it's okay.



#19 Hide in Bush

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 11:54 AM

RAMBLE #5:

 

Last weekend was a blast. No partying BUT at least it breaks the routine of the daily grind. I just wished I prepared for it financially, but at least I made the most of what I had.

Hopefully the inspiration carries over to the work week where toxicity is constantly present. Hope whoever is reading this gets to have an awesome week as well.



#20 deepheavythoughts

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 01:48 PM

Last week was some what an achievement got busy for 3 days still got frustrated with things that i cannot control had a drinking session with a buddy and met some new peeps, then suddenly It's Monday again, fighting myself to get away through may usual routine....







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