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Mistress Or Legal Wife Which Would You Choose

Legal wife vs kabit Confused Pwede bang dalawa

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#1 mikomd

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Posted 09 April 2016 - 11:50 PM

Mga ladies and gent, need your opinion regarding this matters of the heart. Thanks so much

#2 Dierdegarrde

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Posted 10 April 2016 - 01:06 AM

Piliin mo kung sino yung mas matimbang sa puso mo. Hindi ka naman manlalamig kung may pinagiinitan kang bago di ba.



#3 p-colossus

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Posted 10 April 2016 - 01:40 AM

I'll just repost what I wrote from the other thread.

What if you are already married, then found someone better in all aspects with the one you are married with and that some also reciprocates that love. Would you still follow your heart?


So just to clear this out: you're a man and you're married. You met someone that you think you're very compatible with. Now you want to leave your marriage to pursue something more with this somebody. Is that right?

To answer your question, if you think being with that someone will make you happy in the long run, then go for it. It's your life. You get to choose your own happiness.

But unfortunately, you don't get to choose your casualties.

Like my previous post, there are some things that you need to think over. These are the ones at the top of my head:

1.) You need to make sure that this will grant you long term happiness. Like decades from now. Do you still see yourself being with this person? Do you see yourself still being happy with her? More importantly, do you see her still being happy with you?

2.) You need to live with the fact that you chose to leave your wife behind, just because you found someone "better" in all aspects. I'm not sure how your relationship is with your wife, if you have children etc. But I can tell you that (usually) if a woman has given herself to you in marriage, and you decide to leave her just because you found someone more attuned to your disposition, it will affect her negatively. Her self-esteem will go down. It will take her a while to recover. You, on the other hand, have, in a way, already moved on. You have someone new to love and to cherish now.

3.) You need to be willing to sacrifice. At the expense of possibly hurting those around you. At the expense of your reputation. You need to make sure if this really is worth going through.

It seems to me that you asking for advice means that something is already making you hesitate. I don't know what that is but I doubt anything we tell you can significantly influence what your heart really wants. I'm not sure if you want to be encouraged our discouraged. But if you're hesitating, that already means something.

I would suggest for you to think things through. On your own, and really reflect on everything. Find out if you're willing to sacrifice for this, and make sure whoever it is you're devoted to is worthy.

Most importantly, make sure that whatever decision you make will make you happy. Make sure that attaining this happiness for you is so important that it worthy of every ounce of effort you're willing to put in.

Have a good night.
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#4 coffeeholic

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Posted 10 April 2016 - 08:09 AM

There should have been no choice here... You should have separated from your wife if you were unhappy Na pala. I agree with the previous poster, you don't know the effect/devastation you are putting her/your family in. Your happiness at the expense of hurting those who care and love you... Kasi Ikaw yun naka hanap Na... Ikaw yung may choice... Ikaw yung naninigurado...

#5 glut_func

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Posted 10 April 2016 - 04:00 PM

di na dapat tinatanong to... obviously mas pinipili mo si mistress. kasi kung masaya ka na dun sa una, hindi ka na hahanap ng iba. 



#6 CirocBoy

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 08:51 AM

This wouldn't even be a conversation if you really love your legal wife, so I say go with the mistress

#7 Edmund Dantes

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 09:54 AM

Well

 

Lahat naman dito nasabi na. Eto na lang dadagdag ko.

 

Simple lang naman kasi problema eh. Kung di ka na masaya at tingin mo hindi ka na nagiging mabuting tao sa kinakasama mo, eh di hiwalayan mo ng maayos. Make clear terms. Leave the person with a bit of dignity. Then do what you want. Para sakin, affairs are for cowards. Ayaw mo na pala, eh di panindigan mo at hiwalayan mo.

 

Second, I do not believe that we should always pursue things that makes us happy. Happiness is not a gauge kung tama o mali ginagawa mo. At minsan kelangan isakripisyo natin mga bagay na nagpapasaya satin para sa huli yun tama ang mangingibabaw. Yan kasi ang hirap, basta masaya tayo, blurred na yun line ng right and wrong. Pilit natin lolokohin sarili natin na tuwid ang isang bagay na kitang kita namang baluktot.

 

Ang happiness, parang pera din yan eh. You can be blissfully happy and feel you got everything you want doing something dishonest. Or you can be a little happy and at the same time feel something is missing. Pero huwag ka, ang lahat ng utang ay may kabayaran. Life is not fair but it is just. The devil has a way of collecting. Umutang ka ng kaligayahan sa maling paraan, malaking interes sisingilin nyan sayo. Isipin mo, si Napoles siguro nung di pa sya nabubuko naguumapaw din kaligayahan nya. Pero ngayon na nakakulong sya at buong pamilya nya minumura ng tao, malamang nagiisip sya ngayon kung worth it ba ginawa nya.

 

Sana makinig yun mga dapat habang di pa huli lahat.


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#8 27whims

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 10:10 AM

To answer your question, if you think being with that someone will make you happy in the long run, then go for it. It's your life. You get to choose your own happiness. 

But unfortunately, you don't get to choose your casualties. 

 

 

very valid point by DiabolikRuki



#9 Edmund Dantes

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 10:12 AM

Yeah yun nga, hindi mo talaga pwede piliin mga taong masasaktan mo sa huli



#10 drjeckyll

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 01:43 PM

I'll just repost what I wrote from the other thread.


So just to clear this out: you're a man and you're married. You met someone that you think you're very compatible with. Now you want to leave your marriage to pursue something more with this somebody. Is that right?

To answer your question, if you think being with that someone will make you happy in the long run, then go for it. It's your life. You get to choose your own happiness.

But unfortunately, you don't get to choose your casualties.

Like my previous post, there are some things that you need to think over. These are the ones at the top of my head:

1.) You need to make sure that this will grant you long term happiness. Like decades from now. Do you still see yourself being with this person? Do you see yourself still being happy with her? More importantly, do you see her still being happy with you?

2.) You need to live with the fact that you chose to leave your wife behind, just because you found someone "better" in all aspects. I'm not sure how your relationship is with your wife, if you have children etc. But I can tell you that (usually) if a woman has given herself to you in marriage, and you decide to leave her just because you found someone more attuned to your disposition, it will affect her negatively. Her self-esteem will go down. It will take her a while to recover. You, on the other hand, have, in a way, already moved on. You have someone new to love and to cherish now.

3.) You need to be willing to sacrifice. At the expense of possibly hurting those around you. At the expense of your reputation. You need to make sure if this really is worth going through.

It seems to me that you asking for advice means that something is already making you hesitate. I don't know what that is but I doubt anything we tell you can significantly influence what your heart really wants. I'm not sure if you want to be encouraged our discouraged. But if you're hesitating, that already means something.

I would suggest for you to think things through. On your own, and really reflect on everything. Find out if you're willing to sacrifice for this, and make sure whoever it is you're devoted to is worthy.

Most importantly, make sure that whatever decision you make will make you happy. Make sure that attaining this happiness for you is so important that it worthy of every ounce of effort you're willing to put in.

Have a good night.

good points sir



#11 5tormtrooper

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 03:19 PM

if it was me, i'd i say stick with the wife... there was a reason you married her, this feeling you're feeling for your mistress, was probably the same feeling you had when you asked your wife to marry you. you were smitten, deeply in love, and inseparable. and then years down the line, life happens and you experience the same magical thing again but with a different person. 

 

it's not your fault, people change, feelings change, but if your mistress guarantees you a lifetime of happiness. go for it. but in life there are no guarantees. so choose wisely. 

 

marriage is indeed hard work. but that's the beauty in it. when the hot sex is gone, the kids are living their lives with families of their own, you're stuck with your wife who is sagging everywhere and you're balding and can't even sustain a morning erection. at the end of the day, when you're old and grey, it would be nice to look back and say "i stuck with you through thick or thin, there were some close calls, but i still decided to love you, even when i think i don't feel it anymore, even if i don't feel it from you anymore. i stuck with you because many years back i made a promise to you and to your parents, to our kids, and to our foolish selves, that when the storm comes, we will weather it.

 

sorry kakapanood ko lang kasi ng "the notebook"  :rolleyes:


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#12 chances_f

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 03:31 PM

For the first time yesterday, napanood ko yung kina Bea at John Lloyd, yung kerida siya. Di ko kaya mag ala-Hilda Koronel, but I liked how the movie ended.



#13 Edmund Dantes

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 06:01 PM

if it was me, i'd i say stick with the wife... there was a reason you married her, this feeling you're feeling for your mistress, was probably the same feeling you had when you asked your wife to marry you. you were smitten, deeply in love, and inseparable. and then years down the line, life happens and you experience the same magical thing again but with a different person. 

 

it's not your fault, people change, feelings change, but if your mistress guarantees you a lifetime of happiness. go for it. but in life there are no guarantees. so choose wisely. 

 

marriage is indeed hard work. but that's the beauty in it. when the hot sex is gone, the kids are living their lives with families of their own, you're stuck with your wife who is sagging everywhere and you're balding and can't even sustain a morning erection. at the end of the day, when you're old and grey, it would be nice to look back and say "i stuck with you through thick or thin, there were some close calls, but i still decided to love you, even when i think i don't feel it anymore, even if i don't feel it from you anymore. i stuck with you because many years back i made a promise to you and to your parents, to our kids, and to our foolish selves, that when the storm comes, we will weather it.

 

sorry kakapanood ko lang kasi ng "the notebook"  :rolleyes:

 

Let me add, na lahat naman siguro ng married couples dumadating sa point na lumalabnaw passion nila sa isat isa. It is normal. But hindi naman ibig sabihin komo nawala eh di na babalik, kaya hahanapin mo na lang ito sa ibang tao,

 

Ang passion nawawala at bumabalik. Pero ang tiwala pag nasira, parang baso yan na nabasag. Hindi na ulit maayos tulad ng dati. Pagdikitdikitin mo man, masusugatan ka lang at di mo naman maibabalik pa sa dating ayos.

 

Kaya magisip mabuti


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#14 IDGAF

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Posted 11 April 2016 - 07:00 PM

mistress of course. 

 

mistress will not happen if it werent for the LEGAL WIFE in the first place



#15 slugg

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Posted 12 April 2016 - 12:47 AM

Legal wife of course. Because she's the person who'm you've exchanged vows with.

 

So literal, kahit na guguho na ang mundo, babalik sa terminator si arnold schwarzenegger, or maging presidente si jejomar binay, dapat mong pangatawanan ang commitment mo sa kanya.


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#16 Fanface

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Posted 13 April 2016 - 01:40 AM

file an annulment then follow ur heart. 


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#17 gyros

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Posted 13 April 2016 - 05:50 AM

when the mistress becomes the wife you will repeat the cycle and get a new mistress....it is a vicious cycle....

 

iba ang dating ng mistress...mas gusto lagi yung bago...yung IBA



#18 Mr. Anderson

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Posted 13 April 2016 - 06:51 AM

Choose the sexier one.

#19 pendongpeace

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Posted 13 April 2016 - 11:33 AM

kung kaya mo, keep them both :) may steady uwian ka tapos may on-the-side.. just my two cents. 



#20 sOin2you

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Posted 13 April 2016 - 12:30 PM

Eh yung bago mo bang nahanap gusto na din kayo maging steady and settle down eventually?




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