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How Important Is The Sexual History Of Your Partner?


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well, acceptance also falls under effective communication IMO. Like if we do say na sobrang bad ng sexual past ng isa (i.e. loves to f#&k around) but does entail that things ought to be different this time around (probably brought about by maturity over such matters), then, accepting wouldn't be a problem as long as the issue had been addressed accordingly :)

agree naman ako diyan. kelangan ng effective ways of addressing issues. and communication is vital.

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but what about people learning from their past and changing?

 

people change thats true but their values doesnt really change that much and you both should have the same values. odds are you dont. frankly if your were brought up differently your values will be different too.

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people change thats true but their values doesnt really change that much and you both should have the same values. odds are you dont. frankly if your were brought up differently your values will be different too.

if you dont change your values, then you dont change?

 

that sounds a bit confusing. do you mean that people dont really change? or they change short term? or that there are things that change but if it's a core component is does not? or if it does change, the change is not that significant?

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If her history is not affecting our current situation then it's not that important. We will not be partners or committed to each other if her sexual history is affecting us. For example: STDs, crazy f#&k buddies looking for her, ex BFs who wants her in their bed, Ex BFs from which she has a child from and if shes transgender pala. She should be honest enough to tell before committing into a relationship.

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IMHO, the human dna is designed to have only one live sex partner per menstrual cycle.


Having more than one live sex partner can cause the bacteria inside our body to mutate into STD.



Therefore, the sexual history . . .


Doesn't matter - If you have sex with condom.


Very important - If you are into live sex


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I think there are two things to be considered in this discussion:

 

1. The past is an indication of what the future may be;

 

2. There is a possibility of change in every human person.

 

I believe in both. The question now is, how to balance both of these...

 

My most recent ex is a good example. She had so many failed relationships. She had several sexual partners because of these relationships. (That's her explanation. I am not even sure of the sexual relationships she has had because of pure sexual desire.) She is a self-professed hopeless romantic, and, according to her own acceptance, "madali siyang ma-inlove." She admits that her failed relationships are due "to her own fault." She has two kids from two different guys already.

 

From my initial assessment of her, she's a complete failure in my book. She doesn't even deserve to be given a chance, at least for me.

 

BUT, I did give her a chance. Perhaps, I was rather foolish to have done so, breaking my own initial major premises.

 

We stayed on for more than a year. That was something she felt happy about. According to her, I held the longest record among her bfs. She had wanted to bring it to a higher plane, i.e., discuss plans of settling down. But I held back because I felt, she needed to undergo further testing.

 

And this was the test. (I actually shared this in some past threads.) She left for an overseas employment which was to last two years. Before she left, I told her we will discuss matters after she returns from her two year stint. If she can remain steadfast and faithful in her two years of living abroad, I would most willing concretely discuss matters with her.

 

She didn't last for more than three months. She started seeing a middle eastern guy that early. Even in a rather restrictive middle eastern situation, they were checking in hotels and were screwing each other. She denied everything, and made all sorts of alibi why her attitude was changing. I'm glad I found out her escapades early, so I knew she was lying to me.

 

There you have it. A typical example of "a trend" of someone with a past. Notwithstanding, I gave her the chance of proving people can change. Yes, there are people who do change, and I thought, she could be one of them.

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't her case. :(

Edited by jgc813
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Mahirap ata na tanungin na ' psst! May tulo ka ba,boy?'

Di sila aamin. Nakakalalake ata yun.

puwede siguro magpatest muna?

 

di ba pag walang infection, dapat ok na? kung gusto magpasigurado eh di test ulit after 3 or 6 months.

 

yun mahirap makuha yun history of exams.

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I think there are two things to be considered in this discussion:

 

1. The past is an indication of what the future may be;

 

2. There is a possibility of change in every human person.

 

I believe in both. The question now is, how to balance both of these...

 

From my initial assessment of her, she's a complete failure in my book. She doesn't even deserve to be given a chance, at least for me.

 

BUT, I did give her a chance. Perhaps, I was rather foolish to have done so, breaking my own initial major premises.

 

There you have it. A typical example of "a trend" of someone with a past. Notwithstanding, I gave her the chance of proving people can change. Yes, there are people who do change, and I thought, she could be one of them.

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't her case. :(

sorry to hear that.

 

mahirap nga talaga maghanap ng balance.

 

siyempre iisipin mo yun investment mo -- finances, time, effort, emotions.

 

at the same time you want to be fair and give the person a chance.

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A sexually hyperactive person could be an indication of something. One has to see, also, the underlying factors surrounding the sexual hyperactivity. Weighing everything IS, for me, important. I wouldn't like to have a serious relationship with someone who has an unbridled uncontrollable sexual urge related to a psychological problem. Besides, having sex with someone who has had sexual partners, especially, those with multiple sexual partners at one time could raise health/safety issues about him/her.

 

Actually, you don't need several sexual partners in order to acquire/transmit STIs. One partner could be sufficient to spell out a difference. But if it's already possible to get infected by just one, the risk is quadrupled if your partner's sexual history has been record-breaking!

 

I will admit one thing with my recent ex. I had serious reservations about going to bed with her considering she admitted to have had a history of sexual partners. While I knew she was really very inviting because of her history -- practice makes perfect, di ba? And, I saw her as someone who really knew the art of sex -- I was apprehensive about the many "what ifs?"

 

It took some time before we did it. She had always wanted to do it live, but I was always on the safe side, and resorted to using a cd. No penetration whatsoever even for a moment without a cd. Things changed when she underwent a comprehensive check-up, and was declared STI, hepa-B, AIDS/HIV free.

 

That was the physiological part. The psychological aspect was different. She was a hopeless romantic, and was a self-professed "madaling-ma-inlove" kind of a person. Because of that, she easily fell in love after she left the country. After less than three months, nasa kandungan na siya ng iba!

Edited by jgc813
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