How Do Filipinos View Balikbayans?

[mtv]

i believe that stereotyping is a common mistake that can occur when judging balikbayans. In the ealier post there is the word "arrogance"... well indeed there is thin line between that word with confidence and being assertive.. but totally different concepts and meanings.

[mandapong]

It's not those who grew up abroad (such as yourself)  who really get on our nerves, but those who grew up in the Philippines then come back and act like they own the world, just because they've become US citizens (or British or whatever).  "Walang ganyan sa States!"  That sort of thing.  Some spend several years abroad and come back with an American or British accent.  Hell.  The current California governer has been living in the US for so long, but he still speaks the way he did decades ago.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

i quite disagree with the accent thingy there, maybe it's because this is the first thing you would notice, but really, when you speak abroad, you really have to change your accent lest they wouldnt understand you.

 

but inherently, they are still the same person kahit ano mang accent yan, ,,, kung magbago man ang tingin nila sa pinas

at sa pinoy, and begin to look down at people here when they get back, then they are inherently still that one dumb, white *ss lick'n sons of their mothers who didn't bring them up properly kind of person

[mandapong]

If by nature mayabang at reklamador talaga sila, bad trip talaga yan kahit nasaan pa sila. much irritating lang kapag bumisita sila sa pinas at panay ang reklamo at pilit kinukumpara sa bagong bansa na nila.  ang kadalasang reklamo nyan are mga obvious points like economic development, corruption, at infrastructure knowing na medyo inferior nga ang sitwasyon ng pinas.

 

But the point is, kung gusto mong baguhin ang pinas, bumalik ka at dito mo ibuhos ang galing mo.  Hayaan mong pinas ang makinabang ng contribution mo sa ekonomiya at hindi ang ibang bansa.  Otherwise, quiet na lang.

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

tama ka pre, bayaan mo sila dun, we don't need them here either

[Guest khoki]

A very interesting thread, I recently visited pinas and unconsciously found myself still speaking english while in the malls...we got used to this because abroad you have to speak in english and speak it the way they do, otherwise they wouldn't be able understand you. This serves as a guideline for us what to do and what not to do while in pinas, hope some other input are comming.

[murusame]

When I came back 3 years ago I was treated fairly and I love the Philippines very much that I am contemplating in going back for good. As far as balibayan are concerned some pinoys here in Toronto act as if they are better than others the moment they come here. Kakausapin mo ng tagalog and they will speak to you in english kahit very strong yung accent. There was this girl who said she forgot how to speak tagalog and I asked here how long hasa she been in Canada, she said 6 months eh p*tang in mo sabi ko (sorry for the foul language) dapat ba akong maniwala na nakalimutan mo na magtagalog? It's just sad how some pinoys give a balik bayans a bad name.

 

Peace and sorry for the foul language I just had to say it.

[MentalQ]

Its really not fair to generalize; some are good guys and some are ... (please supply the appropriate noun).

For me, what I can never appreciate (even if, by and large, there was no malice intended; as mentioned, they were just creatures of their environment) is the undertone of "how could you people live like this/tolerate that/find it acceptable!" Worse than perceived arrogance is the annoying feel of condecension or the sense that they were probably the only ones or the first one to notice that things are wrong.

Re accents and language - My American secretary from way back could tell if the person I was talking to on the phone is a Filipino or of a different race. She said I tended to roll my r's and enunciate my o's clearly when speaking to a Filipino. She also says that my conversations with a Filipino tends to have 60 percent English phrases in them.

[boomouse]

i can only speak for myself.  the 1st time i went back to the PI in 1999....i was appalled.  i complained alot and wanted to get out.  thats because i expected things to happen the way things happen in the US.  since then, ive become less judgemental and just tried to experience things how they are.  i could see how filipinos might have thought i was being stuck up being in the situation i was when i first came to the PI.  so for me....i think some of "arrogance" came from expecting things to look, feel, and things to happen like in the states.  thus my attitude was poor.  but i learned from the cliche, "when in rome, do as the romans.  ive appreciated more things that are positives of the PI.  now i love the place.  i go to the PI twice a year just to vacation.

 

so maybe for some people....their arrogance could stem from being frustrated.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

The fact that you use the abbrev "PI" to refer to my country already betrays the bias that you grew up with. Don't you know that "PI" is a pejorative? It is a drawback to the days when the great white American colonizers considered the Philippine Islands as a backwater hardship posting.

 

Balikbayans are the result of darwinian selection. They could not take the environment (political, economic, cultural) of the mother country and decided that they had better move to a different (I don't know about better) place else they perish becuase they are not equipped with the right survival skills.

 

And then, when they feel that they have somehow managed to establish themselves in their refuge countries, they troop back to my country as if to validate their decision to leave by bitching and complaining about how we prefer to do things. They forget that they couln't really cut it in this country in the first place--that is why they left.

 

I lived abroad for close to a decade but I turned my back on the foreign exchange, the nice cars, the cool shops because:

 

1. I wanted to live in a big house that I did not have to clean, with a big yard that I did not have to sweep and tend, eat any kind of food I want without having to cook it myself, take as many showers as I want and as many changes of clothes I want without having to wash and iron them myself. For these, I could afford to hire househelp which even with the optional social security and health insurance, is still affordable.

 

2. When I step out to the garage the cars will always be washed and waxed and vacuumed.

 

3. I, my wife, and my kids can decide to go anywhere in the car without having to drive themselves if they do not want to drive.

 

4. I can eat as well as what Americans eat if I choose to and yet I know where to buy the best lechon, inihaw na bangus, talaba, and sinigang na maliputo that even the most resourceful balikbayan would have a hard time finding in the country he has ran off to.

 

5. My kids go to nice schools, pass the UP entrance exams with no problem and act responsibly. They keep their word on our deadline agreements and don't answer back the way I have personally seen American kids do and threaten to call "911".

 

6. When I get home, I ask for slippers, newspaper, and coffee and they appear by my side.

 

7. Where is no snow to shovel, no yard to mow, no leaves to rake because what little needed to be done is being done by someone else.

 

8. My wife does not have to work to provide supplementary income. She does not get stressed by having to do housework either. When I get home or meet her somewhere after work, she looks 15 years younger than her cousins who hied off to the land of milk and honey where you do all the work.

 

Some of you may thinkI inherited all to these. No. I am a product of the Philippine Public School system. Toro Hills Elementary School in Project 8, QC, Quezon City Science High School, and UP. In college I was a working student. I worked my way through. No one said it was easy, but I achieved the Philippine dream and I tell you, it is a lot better than the American dream because it is so much better to be comfortable around your own kind.

[murusame]

Amen to that.

[boomouse]

i actually have a theory regarding why some of the wealthier filipinos have some sort of animosity towards balikbayans.  they are so used to acting so high and mighty they cant stand it when balikbayans dont care about their status and treat them no different than anybody else.  for me i treat everyone the same no matter their social status....but some rich filipinos think theyre better than others.  im not saying everyone is like this.....just some.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

First, can we all cut referring to the Republic of the Philippines as the "PI"? "PI" is a purely colonial label applicable only to when we were a colony of the US. Unless to have a direct intent to demean the Philippines, then "Philippines" will do nicely. More syllables, I know but that should not be hard to learn. After all, you guys won't let yourselves be caught using "nigger" instead of "african american" in your mother country.

 

Second, I will admit that I count myself as belonging to the group of better off Filipinos that you just might consider wealthy although I do not know if you are using Philippine or US terms of reference. But please define "high and mighty". Personally, when I encounter a balikbayan on the street I do not feel any animosity towards him or her. The "outre" fashion sense may strike me as droll and cause me to label it as "redneck baroque" or something in my mind but I certainly would not go out of my way to demonstrate any overt reaction to the esthetic affront. Of course, neither would I go out of my way to smile and make them feel welcome.

 

Balikbayan relatives however will remain relatives irrespective of where they come from and how they look. I will keep my opinions to myself but will certainly draw the line when any of my family tries to emulate their accent, attitude, or (shudder) fashion sense.

 

This my country, I live here, I pay my taxes here, therefore, I will choose how I wish to behave in this country as I think befits the people I interact with. If they happen to be foreigners (or balikbayans--no difference) and they don't like it, they are free to leave--which is exactly how they would feel had I been in their country and our roles were reversed.

 

Therefore, while I do not feel it is right or proper for me to behave as if I were better or superior to other Filipinos, I see no problem in behaving differently towards foreigners who deserve the treatment. Because certainly, if they behave that way in YOUR country think about how they might behave when you are in THEIR country. If they can't stand it, they can always leave. That si why they are balikbayans in the first place.

[jt2003]

Folks, I don't want to argue. But let's not make a big thing out of the use of PI. It's simply a nostalgic term for those of us who are old enough to remember a time when our country was still among the top nations in Asia. It was well in use in the 50s and 60s, and in informal discussions it's still nice to use. And yes, I love our wonderful PI.

[black cat]

Depends on how they behave. If they behave as if they were an alien.. then, I treat them as if they were an alien. Otherwise, I treat them the way I treat most people.

 

On the arrogance thing.. I don't think it's arrogance nor frustration.. it's more of they just want the environment to adapt to them instead of them adapting to the environment. :hypocritesmiley:

[mach10]

So why does everybody I know back there wanna ditch PI and go somewhere else? I wonder why there are so many nursing students? And do you all know how many mail-order brides are out on the net trying to score to they can jam out of PI? Balikbayans are not the only ones complaining. Everytime I go back there, it seemed like people are always whining about the same exact sh!t the balikbayans whine about. Traffic, pollution, no jobs, the gov't sucks, it's scorching hot, PAL is always late...sh!t like that. Unless you're livin the high life like Boomouse...life can suck hard back there.

[Guest Leviticus]

So why does everybody I know back there wanna ditch PI and go somewhere else?  I wonder why there are so many nursing students?  And do you all know how many mail-order brides are out on the net trying to score to they can jam out of PI?  Balikbayans are not the only ones complaining.    Everytime I go back there, it seemed like people are always whining about the same exact sh!t the balikbayans whine about.    Traffic, pollution, no jobs, the gov't sucks, it's scorching hot, PAL is always late...sh!t like that.  Unless you're livin the high life like Boomouse...life can suck hard back there.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are plenty of reasons, general or personal. Mostly it is because of circumstantial or situational.

 

The most popular answer to your question why there are so many wanting to leave the country is "Mahirap ang buhay dito" and "Job opportunities".

 

There is also the colonial mentality. Since bata pa ang idea that life outside of the Philippines is better than living here is instilled so naturally the biggest achievement that is percieved is to get out of the country.

 

Sadly, I know of one mother that wants her daughters to be japayukis because nagseselos siya with her neighbours and other kamaganaks who have been japayukis and now umaasenso. The sad part is ayaw magwork ng mother and gusto na lang magpasocial and other stuff.

 

Rampant din ang news about families being torn apart because nagkakaroon ng 2nd (even 3rd) families abroad ang mga OFWs.

 

About the mailorder brides naman, same thing: To get out of the Philippines para masustentuhan ang mga pamilya. I can't really imagine the sacrifice these guys who chose to be mail order brides.

 

Other reasons are: to escape prosecution, to begin a clean slate, because nandyan na ang family nya, etc.

 

The most prevailant reason kaya gusto umalis ng Philippines is better opportunity.

 

I am from the provinces who transfererred to here in Manila. Dito na ako sa Manila nagwowork. Sa start it was a big culture change sa akin; within the Philippines pa ako ah. People here in Manila have it sooo good interms of economics and opportunity. Here, taken for granted nila ang norms of their lives; a so-so attitude or happy go lucky view of situations. It's a bit hard to describe actually.

 

I have balikbayan relatives (who doesn't these days) who, thankfully, do not do much whining about the social situation here in the Philippines.

 

Balikbayans are given a bad rep*tation because they often say "In the states..." and "wala yan sa states...", etc.

 

Yes, we know the situation looks bad. We are not blind or apathetic to our Philippine's plight.

 

Masama lang ang dating sa amin when balikbayans whine and complain. Lumalabas na "high and mighty" ang mga statements. There was even this one guy that commented that "nasanay lang kayo because you don't know any better, unlike me na nakaexperience here sa states" and even went ahead to say "dyan na kayo sa Pilipinas niyo". Comments like that are relates to the proverbial "breaking the camel's back".

 

Some would point out that its becaue of guilt or selos kaya negative ang tingin namin sa mga balikbayans. Not really. It all boils down to plain irritation; parang dagdag pahirap lang when people start blabbering about the obvious. We know that there is room for improvement when it comes to our system and way of living. We know the problems and other bad things about Philippine soceity, especially our government.

 

Ayan tuloy ang stereotype para sa mga expats and balikbayans are complainers and whiners. All we ak is that tumigil na lang kayo sa complaints ninyo and either makibagay kayo (do as the Romans do) or do something about it. Do you think society would be more accomodating to you when you point out the obvious and complain? No way!

[Mr. Shagwell]

amen

[igol ays]

so some people get irritated at balikbayans who point out what may seem obvious to filipinos; i can accept that...

 

just on this board alone, there are lots of non balikbayan members who point out the same things. all you have to do is look at threads with political and economic themes. question is, do you get irritated by them (non balikbayans) as well?

[jt2003]

so some people get irritated at balikbayans who point out what may seem obvious to filipinos; i can accept that...

 

just on this board alone, there are lots of non balikbayan members who point out the same things. all you have to do is look at threads with political and economic themes. question is, do you get irritated by them (non balikbayans) as well?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Quite frankly, sir eagleyes, no. It's because the criticisms, while the same, come from two different perspectives. One is often colored with derision and condescension (and the thought that the source of criticism can always leave and will actually leave), the other with a sense of helplessness and despair.

 

The same criticism from two parties can come across very differently, depending on where each is coming from.

 

In one instance in the movie "Gridlocked," for instance, the Tim Roth character kept using the "N word," which got him into trouble. So his friend, an African-American (Shupak Takur), told him not to use it. "But you use it all the time," Tim Roth says. Shupak replies, "Yes, but you're not black."

(Words to that effect anyway)

 

I hope you get what I mean.

Edited May 21, 2005 by jt2003

[scott_summers]

actually... theyr not different as us nowadays

[igol ays]

Quite frankly, sir eagleyes, no.  It's because the criticisms, while the same, come from two different perspectives.  One is often colored with derision and condescension (and the thought that the source of criticism can always leave and will actually leave), the other with a sense of helplessness and despair.

 

The same criticism from two parties can come across very differently, depending on where each is coming from.

 

In one instance in the movie "Gridlocked," for instance, the Tim Roth character kept using the "N word," which got him into trouble.  So his friend, an African-American (Shupak Takur), told him not to use it.  "But you use it all the time," Tim Roth says.  Shupak replies, "Yes, but you're not black."

(Words to that effect anyway)

 

I hope you get what I mean.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

fully understand, although there is a little difference. the balikbayan after all is a fellow filipino.

 

after i made the post, i was thinking that instead of the negative reaction, the comment could be taken as an opportunity for a healthy, positive discussion (that is, of course if the balikbayan is able to fully comprehend the different causes of all the ills he/she observes).

Edited May 21, 2005 by eagleyes

[Guest Leviticus]

On a positive note, balikbayans remit their dollars here through their family (if ever) that lives here in the Philippines.

 

Also, they have this "outsider" perspective because of their exposure outside of the country.

 

Balikbayans are also Filipinos, they can whine and complain and stuff along side their fellow countrymen. They are Filipinos, yes, but Filipinos who have the option of leaving the country.

 

To be graphic; there is a big difference between the balikbayan who opts to live and work here as compared to one who is only on vacation (who is gonna leave anyway).

 

Ang labas ng balikbayan who complains ay parang visitor who overstayed their welcome.

 

It is like a guest who was invited to dinner but during the course of dinner all the guest does is complain about the food, the house, the service, etc; of the host. Ginawang restaurant ang bahay ng host :grr:

[12Ten]

I came and spent about a month in the Philippines just recently. I pretty much grew up in the US but always had the urge to go back to my home land and possibly stay for good.

 

I dare not digress, but as a balikbayan, I do believe we are misconstrued. I can assure you that I have nothing against my fellow Filipinos but the main difference is contributed to the diversity in culture, values, lifestyle...etc. For instance, people who are outspoken in the states are considered intellectual and the ones that are not outspoken are considered lame. In the Phillipines, being outspoken is a sign of arrogance.

 

Rather than misjudging the balikbayans, I think we should think twice and consider their experiences in a foreign land. To become sucessful, one needs to fit and adapt in a diversed environment. One of you will be a balikbayan someday, I don't think it would be fair if you are misinterpreted...right?! I thought so! ;-)

[boomouse]

So why does everybody I know back there wanna ditch PI and go somewhere else?  I wonder why there are so many nursing students?  And do you all know how many mail-order brides are out on the net trying to score to they can jam out of PI?  Balikbayans are not the only ones complaining.    Everytime I go back there, it seemed like people are always whining about the same exact sh!t the balikbayans whine about.    Traffic, pollution, no jobs, the gov't sucks, it's scorching hot, PAL is always late...sh!t like that.  Unless you're livin the high life like Boomouse...life can suck hard back there.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

1. You mean why do people in the Philippines want to work abroad? Well...

a. Its not because they lack a means of living in the Philippines but more of because you guys have a shortage of skills available here. You guys don't have enough nurses, so you'll be willing to pay through the nose for foreign labor.

b. Mail order brides? The clueless lotharios who seek them out are willing to pay suit with their money. And mail order brides are really a euphemism for a legal form of the world's oldest profession. Every society has career people in that industry. Especially yours.

c. Ah, when Filipinos complain about their situation that is par for the course. After al they are the ones who have to endure whatever needs to be endured. When psuedo "Flips" called balikbayans complain that is being an impolite guest. You have chosen to leave, then behave like a guest when you visit. After all, you contribute nothing actively to the country. You send money to relatives you say? Coincidental. If the same relatives were living in Timbuktu, you would be sending money there wouldn't you? Charity work and medical missions? I have relatives like those too. They just like to validate their superiority by slumming with what they consider to be under privileged Filipinos. I told them to change their thinking or just bring their charity to the slums of Washington DC or East LA. May mga Filipino din doon.

 

2. Me living the high life? Perhaps. Am I proud of it? Yes! I made it here. I did not have to go around trying to change my ways and adapting to someone elses culture, enduring another society's prejudices to do it. Darn right I'm proud. And you know what? I worked abroad too. But I live on less than a third of what I would be earning in say, Hong Kong where I stayed almost 9 years. And I do not have to work overtime. Nor do I have to work a second job.

 

About life sucking... Gunnar Myrdal, in his 1970s tome "Asian Drama, the Nature and Causes of the Poverty of Nations" said that a peoples perception of how well off they are is not based on how well they meet the basic needs of life but more of what they think they do not have that countries they perceive to be "rich" have. He calls it the International Demonstration Effect. We never thought that escalators were such great devices until media said so for example. Till then, we thought that trudging up and down staircases did the job nicely.

 

If you think that people who leave the Philippines for the land of muggings and drive-by shootings are poor, think again. They are not poor. They are simply dissatisfied with their lot and they blame Philippine society and the system for their inability to help themselves. Sure they do well in their transplanted countries. But that is because they had no choice. Kapit sa patalim ika nga. Too much pride to return home with an empty belly, so the prejudice and condescension from the great white brothers are easier to adjust to.

 

Wag na lang. sa inyo na yan. Diyan kayo, dito kami. You are welcome to visit anytime. But behave like a guest. Hindi na kayo Pinoy. Hanggang dugo na lang ang pagka Pinoy ninyo.

 

You want to rant and rave about my country? Earn the right. Uwi ka dito at pakita mo na mas magaling ka sa amin. Baka mas magaling pa ang survival skills ng taong grasa sa inyo.

[boomouse]

I came and spent about a month in the Philippines just recently.  I pretty much grew up in the US but always had the urge to go back to my home land and possibly stay for good.

 

I dare not digress, but as a balikbayan, I do believe we are misconstrued.  I can assure you that I have nothing against my fellow Filipinos but the main difference is contributed to the diversity in culture, values, lifestyle...etc.  For instance, people who are outspoken in the states are considered intellectual and the ones that are not outspoken are considered lame.  In the Phillipines, being outspoken is a sign of arrogance.

 

Rather than misjudging the balikbayans, I think we should think twice and consider their experiences in a foreign land.  To become sucessful, one needs to fit and adapt in a diversed environment.  One of you will be a balikbayan someday, I don't think it would be fair if you are misinterpreted...right?!  I thought so! ;-)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Why do you lump yourself in with "balikbayans"? If you were born in the US or were raised there from an age too early to make you have memories of the Philippines, you are not a balikbayan. You are an American tourist in the Philippines. You may have brown skin. You may have some Filipino sounding surname. But that does not make you a Filipino. It doesn;t even make you a balikbayan.

 

A balikbayan is an ex-Filipino who has chosen to immigrate to some foreign land and who has found the means (and perhaps the psychological need) to visit the country he left. Up to this point, I brook no quarrel with tourists or balikbayans. But when they complain and compare what they see here against the better system they claim to have "there" then we part ways. That's like me saying that American foreign policy sucks. I have no right to say so and Americans would certianly take umbrage if they heard me.

 

Don't think being critical is the same as being outspoken. We do that here too. You can be outspoken and still act like a proper guest. Which you are. Cross the line and you over extend your welcome.

[boomouse]

Folks, I don't want to argue.  But let's not make a big thing out of the use of PI.  It's simply a nostalgic term for those of us who are old enough to remember a time when our country was still among the top nations in Asia.  It was well in use in the 50s and 60s, and in informal discussions it's still nice to use.  And yes, I love our wonderful PI.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Nostalgia? That is why we have the problems Americans with Filipino blood enjoy ranting about. Things have changed. You can certianly us "PI" (in my colloquial lexicon it is an abbrev for a favorite street expression that refers to the kind of mother some people might have) whenever you converse with your ilk.

 

In public, with 21st century Filipinos in the Philippines? That's like using the "N" word when you do not have the skin color to give you the right to use it. It is a pejorative, a put down, a drawback to the days when the Philippines was seen as a colonial backwater, when post world war 2 Filipinos still dreamt of a cushy life in the land of milk and honey where the streets are paved with gold for as long as you say yessir to every white man.

 

Go ahead and use PI. You have the freedom to. But Use it within earshot and I invoke my freedom to bite your head off and put you in your place.

[boomouse]

fully understand, although there is a little difference. the balikbayan after all is a fellow filipino.

 

after i made the post, i was thinking that instead of the negative reaction, the comment could be taken as an opportunity for a healthy, positive discussion (that is, of course if the balikbayan is able to fully comprehend the different causes of all the ills he/she observes).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Fellow Filipino? By blood perhaps. But what is a Filipino? You have to earn the right to be one by contributing negatively or positively to Filipino society. If you live elsewhere, pay your taxes elsewhere, contribute your skills elsewhere, abide by some other culture's ways and mores, you cannot possibly be a Filipino anymore.

 

You are, plain and simply, a guest. And that means you have to abide by internationally accepted standards of behavior for guests. You cannot arrogate unto yourself the rights of a Filipno even if these were just argumentative rights.

 

Suppose I shift language and ask you argue your point in Tagalog or the more colloquial Pilipino? Would you still consider yourself Filipino? Even Americans can't argue in English. They argue in AMERICAN. There is a big difference as the British will have you know. Its a good thing the British don't have a balikbayan program.

[igol ays]

well, we certainly know how boomouse views balikbayans

fortunately, a lot of us don't fit his balikbayan "model"

Edited May 26, 2005 by eagleyes