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Mistress Or Legal Wife Which Would You Choose


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I'll just repost what I wrote from the other thread.

 

So just to clear this out: you're a man and you're married. You met someone that you think you're very compatible with. Now you want to leave your marriage to pursue something more with this somebody. Is that right?

To answer your question, if you think being with that someone will make you happy in the long run, then go for it. It's your life. You get to choose your own happiness.

But unfortunately, you don't get to choose your casualties.

Like my previous post, there are some things that you need to think over. These are the ones at the top of my head:

1.) You need to make sure that this will grant you long term happiness. Like decades from now. Do you still see yourself being with this person? Do you see yourself still being happy with her? More importantly, do you see her still being happy with you?

2.) You need to live with the fact that you chose to leave your wife behind, just because you found someone "better" in all aspects. I'm not sure how your relationship is with your wife, if you have children etc. But I can tell you that (usually) if a woman has given herself to you in marriage, and you decide to leave her just because you found someone more attuned to your disposition, it will affect her negatively. Her self-esteem will go down. It will take her a while to recover. You, on the other hand, have, in a way, already moved on. You have someone new to love and to cherish now.

3.) You need to be willing to sacrifice. At the expense of possibly hurting those around you. At the expense of your reputation. You need to make sure if this really is worth going through.

It seems to me that you asking for advice means that something is already making you hesitate. I don't know what that is but I doubt anything we tell you can significantly influence what your heart really wants. I'm not sure if you want to be encouraged our discouraged. But if you're hesitating, that already means something.

I would suggest for you to think things through. On your own, and really reflect on everything. Find out if you're willing to sacrifice for this, and make sure whoever it is you're devoted to is worthy.

Most importantly, make sure that whatever decision you make will make you happy. Make sure that attaining this happiness for you is so important that it worthy of every ounce of effort you're willing to put in.

Have a good night.

I agree with this. This situation is something you should have thought of before you made your vows. I would stay with my wife because that is the bond that I placed myself under.

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  • 2 months later...
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In some countries where marriage is a dying tradition, people would go for the mistress, but as I can see they rarely ever get the fullfillment theyre looking for in life. Marriage on the other hand is easily repairable, what people get wrong is once theyre married, they dont need to feel the need to work on their relationship anymore. Para bang porket kinasal na ay tapos na. Dapat mas doble ang effort. The best advice i got from my 92 y/o lolo is happy wife, happy life.

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