Jump to content


Photo

What Women Want That They DoníT Tell You

Dating Self-confidence Personality Development Psychology

  • Please log in to reply
65 replies to this topic

#1 FleurDeLune

FleurDeLune

    The Lightworker

  • Moderator
  • 5,175 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 28 May 2017 - 11:56 PM

Let’s get back to basic, guys. Supposing you're not aware of any overture in the list yet. Or maybe if you're lucky enough, you did experience and surpassed any awkwardness, which might have resulted to undesirable savoir-faire, while you were still in the early stage of "getting-to- know" her / him. Having said that, I want you to share your experience in this thread (if there's any, that is). Thank you and have fun.

 

It isn’t your imagination. 

 

We women don’t always tell you exactly what we want.

Even though we won’t always spell out exactly what we want from you, as sometimes we don’t even realize what we want at first, that doesn’t mean you have to stay in the dark.

 

There’s a linear, logical way to shed light on what women want when it comes to approaching, flirting, and getting a woman’s number.

 

Today, I’m going to share with you how to essentially read a woman’s mind in these crucial areas so you can know what she wants, without her actually saying it to you.

 

There are four things you should never expect a woman to tell you. Might she tell you? Sure, but if you expect it, you’re shorting her and yourself a potentially great connection.

Don’t expect a woman to say, “Approach me now.”

Even if she wants it, she’s not likely to go over and tell you.

 

Does she want to be approached by everyone? No, only by men she feels at least comfortable around, if not attracted to. As long as you’re chill, that’s you! Even if she’s not attracted to you, and even if she has a boyfriend, she’ll still be flattered.

 

Here’s how to approach her and make sure it lands the right way.

Go with an attitude of, “I’m just going to say ‘hi.’ Whatever happens is great. If she responds negatively, then either (A) she’s not as nice as she looks, ( B) she’s having a bad night, or © I came off wrong because I’m still learning how to approach well.”

That’s all. Those are the three options. Notice that not one of those is, “Oh, I guess I’m inherently unattractive!”

 

None of those three options is deeply personal. The first is about her, the second is situational, and the third is about skill-level, which is always improvable.

A great example of this kind of approach is when one client of mine was out with friends at a club recently and saw a group of girls dancing. He noticed one he felt especially attracted to and said to his friend, “I’m going to go talk to her.”

 

His friend said, “Girls in groups don’t like that. You’ll be bothering her.”

What? No. Not a helpful modus operandi. Happily, my client wasn’t fazed. He remembered what we worked on, and he said to his friend, “Well, I’ll go over there and find out!”

Total badass.

 

He approached her, and she was into him. She broke away from her friend group, and they had an amazing night together. She was even in town for a little while, and they ended up seeing each other several times!

Don’t expect a woman to tell you HOW to approach.

Instead, you can do what my awesome client did:

 

Before you walk out of the house, remember why you’re attractive. Feel good about yourself by reflecting on times women were warm and responsive to you. Remember why women are attracted to you, the compliments they’ve given you.

 

Dress well, and look good. The better you can look before you walk out the door, the more attractive you look and feel. Wear a crisp collared shirt that fits you well. Be clean, well-groomed,

and smell good. These are very basic things that women notice a LOT, so pay close attention there.

 

Warm up. Be generally social before talking to a woman you’re attracted to. Talk to other people like your friends, the bartender, and maybe a dude at the bar. This way, when you do approach, you’re warmed up already.

 

See who you naturally feel drawn to. When you get to your venue, notice who you feel attracted to. Notice that your attraction is not just sexual towards physical looks alone. Your attraction to her is also to her vibe, as her personality naturally shows through her appearance in what she’s wearing and her facial expression. Be present to that. This helps you know that you are not being creepy.

 

Position yourself closer to her in the room. By positioning yourself closer to her before approaching, you’re not making a direct beeline. Because you’re already nearby and you’ve been talking with other folks, it looks and feels more natural for both of you.

 

As you approach, be open. Be open and curious to see how things unfold. This is a consistent point my most successful clients follow. Don’t expect anything; just be open to whatever you find as the dynamic begins. You are there to see what happens. You can think of yourself as a detective who’s gathering clues about her and how she feels.

 

Say something relevant. If it’s a dancing venue, you could ask her to dance. If not, you could say something about the environment, asking her how she knows the host, mentioning something about what she’s drinking. Start talking like you know her, something short and laid back.

If you want to be more intense, you can compliment her. As long as you steer clear of complimenting her boobs or ass directly, it will come across well.

Don’t expect a woman to tell you, “I like you being here,” or, “I want you to leave.”

To know this, you must read her well. Ask yourself based on her body language, “Does she want me to stay or go? For that matter, do I like her? Do I want to stay or go?”

 

Watch her body language. Read her body language during her conversation. Her body will tell you whether she is open to you or not. Is her torso opening towards you or closed off from you? Is she relaxed or tense? Is she breathing deeply or holding her breath?

 

The former in all these cases are signs she wants more of you, and the latter are signs she’s uncomfortable and not into it.

Whatever feedback you get isn’t personal. It’s just information on how well you’ve read her, how developed you are in that particular skill at this point in time.

 

Respond accordingly. If she’s not into talking with you after a few minutes, you can say pleasantly, “Hey, it was great talking to you. Enjoy your night!”

If it wasn’t a long conversation at all, then you can tell her in a laid-back way, “Enjoy your night!”

I’ve had clients who had women so surprised that they were so chill about it, that the women changed their minds when my clients got up to leave and said, “Wait, don’t go!”

Don’t expect a woman to say, “Get my number now.”

If you are having a great connection, incorporating flirtatious touch, and there is no mention of a boyfriend, she wants you to get her number. She won’t say, “Ask for my number now.”

She wants you to get it. Here’s how:

 

Plant a seed of seeing her again. While you’re talking, mention seeing her again. If you’re talking about a venue already, you can say, “It would be fun to take you there!”

Planting a seed warms her up to the idea.

 

Get her number. When you get her number, pull out your phone as you’re in conversation with her, and say, “Hey, let me get your number.”

 

Then open your phone to the text screen and hand her the phone.

By doing that, you’re taking care of it. If she doesn’t want to give you her number, she won’t. If you don’t offer, though, you’ll never know.

 

When you’re aware of these things that women want but won’t tell you, everything gets easier.

Instead of feeling presumptuous, you know that as long as you’re getting warm vibes and responsiveness from her, you’re actually doing exactly what she likes.

It’s a win-win, and it eliminates drama of wondering whether you should do this or that, going back and forth in your mind.

 

Knowing what to do and what to look for means you will finally be able to connect with women in a way we want to be connected with, and you will be handsomely rewarded for it.

 

Source: www.nicknotas.com

 



#2 GM_Marty

GM_Marty

    Cutie

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 228 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 29 May 2017 - 11:56 AM

I agree to some of this. Tho some girls are vocal and some arent. It boils down on how guys would initiate things regardless :)
  • FleurDeLune likes this

#3 Ephemeral

Ephemeral

    It doesn't have to be forever...

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 352 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 29 May 2017 - 12:38 PM

This is actually a good read for those who are dating women who are too shy to say what they want or think that men are mind-readers.

 

Let us assumed that you are.

 

I think the first step to understanding these kind of women is to LISTEN bold and CAPITALIZED. And no, not in the polite nodding-head-while-looking-at-her-boobs-and-mentally-undressing-her kind of way, which you have been doing since you discovered porn. Listen to everything she says with words and behind the words (aka body language). Non-verbal cues are the universal language of the soul. Understanding what they really mean can determine whether she likes you enough to say yes to a dinner date, a kiss, eventually charm her pants off, or meet her parents.

 

OK so, here are some personal "wants" that some women aren't telling you (at some point in my life I've been this kind of woman). 

 

We want compliments but don't overdo it. Of course, we take essential care of our physical appearance, we studied for a presentation, we are nice to our family and friends. We don't want you to put us on a pedestal but be sincere and subtle. We want to know that you appreciate what we do.

 

We want you to look good for us. Don't get me wrong, I support the "be who you are" and "inner beauty lasts longer" banalities. We don't want a Brad Pitt but please, do wear pants on the first date, comb that hair,  or trim that beard. Put some effort.

 

I will consider dating you if you are earning for a living. Yes, its called adulting. i have a  job and I spend money for my own or my family. I'm not about to adopt you. Money isn't everything and you don't have to be filthy rich but at least be able pay for your own coffee.

 

We want you to be sweet on special occasions. Flowers on first date? Not bad. Trying to be a cutie patootie on our first monthsary? Awww, you remembered. Additional makeout points LOL

 

Chivalry is still not dead. I don't want to be Tits McGee and womansplain things to you. I'm sure you know that women love to be on equal footing with men but opening that door, or making sure I sit first, or asking for my permission if I want to go to a certain place is so endearing! It makes us feel valued as a human being even though we sure hell can do those on our own. 

 

That's it for now.


  • FleurDeLune and Sickretwo like this

#4 sapphy

sapphy

    Chaser

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 89 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 30 May 2017 - 02:18 AM

*nods nods* i especially need these tips for my first date. keep 'em coming! my problem is more of HOW to initiate a date when we're still facebook msging than how to approach a girl (at a bar) because i dont go to bars.. :( it actually feels weird.. :(



#5 M4rc0

M4rc0

    Chaser

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 63 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 31 May 2017 - 10:51 AM

depends on the woman



#6 hustleryehey

hustleryehey

    Chaser

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 62 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 31 May 2017 - 08:03 PM

riiight



#7 *Jessie*

*Jessie*

    The friendzoner and friendzonee

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 843 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:Bursting bubbles

Posted 01 June 2017 - 01:14 AM

1. We love to be wooed. Don't just play safe. Play hard. That is the problem with this digital age. All is easy. Even sex is digital. We lose the value of playing the long game and building human connections. We love to feel that your focus is just boxed on us. Don't play safe. Some can sense if you are not really investing.

2. We love men with a plan. Not boys who keep on waiting for the right moment.We love it when u plan certain occasions but most importantly, we love it when you have long term plans. It is important for us to see that a man has vision for his future and not just going with the flow.

3. We love men who are fit or at least physically healthy. When we first met you as fit and lean, then you gradually get fat during the relationship, we understand it is cute as this ie like the couple kind of thing where you dine out most of the time and all ur bonding times are usually on eating. But we'd still love it if you keep your shape in check. After all,a man who can carry us in his arms is an attractive man.

4. Stop talking too much. Yes, we love it when our man is open to us during his times when he feels drained but please, keep it moderate, make your point and stop blabbering too much about it.

5. We love men who can spend for us not because we are gold diggers and users but we love it when a man can provide. We feel pampered and loved. We love to be treated like a princess but most of us dismiss the idea because we have this mentality that it is "too much to ask".

6. We love a man who loves to go down. There is nothing more pleasing than a man who makes us feel desirable by going down a loooooot. Not all girls will tell you they want you to go down. So go down a lot.

7. We love a man who can hold it longer. We finish a lot longer than you do. So learn to hold it and keep us really satisfied. Most of the time, you will know that your girl is satisfied is when either she asks you if you are not near yet or she keeps getting so clingy and sweet with you after doing it and while you're resting.
  • Tolonges and FleurDeLune like this

#8 LoveYUI

LoveYUI

    Experienced

  • (03) Newbie
  • PipPipPip
  • 35 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 01 June 2017 - 02:36 AM

kung ano gagawin nya para hindi ka na maghanap ng iba :D

#9 eve

eve

    Cutie

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 284 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 01 June 2017 - 11:19 AM

Totally worth scrolling for. :-)

Edited by eve, 01 June 2017 - 11:21 AM.


#10 jason hong

jason hong

    Cutie

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 205 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 01 June 2017 - 12:01 PM

nice topic....learning



#11 Freddie C.

Freddie C.

    God of Lust

  • (12) Mega Poster
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,629 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:sa gitna ng traffic

Posted 02 June 2017 - 04:31 AM

human nature naman that all people want S.X at one point or the other pero our culture does not look at open discussion nor admission that they want that. you can just read the body language to find out and to find our if he/she wants it with you. 


generally,girls are naturally gold diggers(1 out of 200 lang yata ang hindi).Men are generally only after the looks. We are all shallow. Lets admit it. Men will not care if you dont have a car nor a place as long as youre hot. Dealbreaker ang cars and own place for girls if you want to f#&k them. Stop with the personality/ambition bullshit ,go straight to the pont, girls want a guy who can provide and is financially stable(has a car and place and decent job/business)

kaya pala madaming magandang babaeng pumapatol sa mga to be blunt pangit pero may pera. too bad wala ako pera. konti lang meron. kulang ako sa pogi points kung baga


Edited by Freddie Crooger, 02 June 2017 - 04:32 AM.


#12 edma

edma

    Hottie

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 336 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Singapore
  • Interests:12% per anum.. interest daw eh.

Posted 02 June 2017 - 02:07 PM

ganda ng topic.. gusto ko rin mag share ng marami.. 



#13 miss_krista@nps

miss_krista@nps

    Looker

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 177 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 02 June 2017 - 11:21 PM

sincerity . love. affection

#14 FleurDeLune

FleurDeLune

    The Lightworker

  • Moderator
  • 5,175 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 03 June 2017 - 11:21 AM

generally,girls are naturally gold diggers(1 out of 200 lang yata ang hindi).Men are generally only after the looks. We are all shallow. Lets admit it. Men will not care if you dont have a car nor a place as long as youre hot. Dealbreaker ang cars and own place for girls if you want to f#&k them. Stop with the personality/ambition bullshit ,go straight to the pont, girls want a guy who can provide and is financially stable(has a car and place and decent job/business)

 

You have to expound the highlighted phrase if you do not want this post of yours be removed. I will give you 24 hrs for this.



#15 theoneandonlymistressmia

theoneandonlymistressmia

    Libertine

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 876 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Marikina
  • Interests:Massage

Posted 04 June 2017 - 07:56 AM

generally,girls are naturally gold diggers(1 out of 200 lang yata ang hindi).Men are generally only after the looks. We are all shallow. Lets admit it. Men will not care if you dont have a car nor a place as long as youre hot. Dealbreaker ang cars and own place for girls if you want to f#&k them. Stop with the personality/ambition bullshit ,go straight to the pont, girls want a guy who can provide and is financially stable(has a car and place and decent job/business)


It's not that women are gold diggers. But some women want men who are responsible enough to provide for their future. Bakit kami kukuha ng bato na ipupukpok sa ulo namin? We want security instead of boy who only work because they are broke. Some women want someone with dream and ambition not someone who is contented with low to average pay cheques. Remember the saying love is not enough? Its true.

As for my case, my husband works for me. Wag mong lahatin. Nowadays may mas pakinabang pa mga babae kesa sa mga lalaki. Sorry to say that.
  • FleurDeLune likes this

#16 theoneandonlymistressmia

theoneandonlymistressmia

    Libertine

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 876 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Marikina
  • Interests:Massage

Posted 05 June 2017 - 07:39 PM

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because Ive become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and thats why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience. _ Meryl Streep quoted it as words she lives by!
Update: originally written by José Micard Teixeira.

Advertisements
  • FleurDeLune and Sickretwo like this

#17 GM_Marty

GM_Marty

    Cutie

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 228 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 06 June 2017 - 10:55 AM

theres only few girls who likes a guy and not his pockets.. :) pretty rare nowadays



#18 jojo67

jojo67

    Chaser

  • (04) Casual
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 98 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 06 June 2017 - 02:55 PM

from my experience. i am 47 yr old already. i studied in a very good university. we came from a relatively poor family, i worked hard during my school days while courting cute girls in the university. 

I dont agree with the statement na generally gold diggers mga girls. while i was still studying wala akong pera. kaya ko lang magpa jollibee hehe. nililigawan ko was a 8 to 8.5 smart and rich sya. we ended becoming bf/gf sya pa gumagastos and parate ako invite nya sa mga family affairs nila being held in phil plaza o other 5 star hotel o resto. di ako masyado gusto ng kuya and father hehe. 

tool ko lang before sa panliligaw ko is kapalan lang ng mukha and lots of time spent with her. effort lang talaga kaso we eventually parted ways and niligawan sya ng friend ko na mayaman and sila naging mag asawa.

i am now i think a successful businessman. i am married to my beautiful wife also. i have a beautiful big hse in one of the posh subd near robinson galleria. di ko na kaya ligawan style dati pera pera na gamit ko rega regalo na kasi i dont have time and cant be seen with the girl in public.

I think younger girls kaya daanin sa ligawang breezy basta presentable and neat ka and madami ka time and load. pero kayang mautakan ang younger women using flashing of wealth basta never be a dick

if older women they use more of their heads rather than heart.


  • 27whims and FleurDeLune like this

#19 Deadinside

Deadinside

    Cutie

  • (05) Regular
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 212 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Makati City

Posted 06 June 2017 - 02:56 PM

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because Ive become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and thats why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience. _ Meryl Streep quoted it as words she lives by!
Update: originally written by José Micard Teixeira.
Advertisements


Worth to read :)

theres only few girls who likes a guy and not his pockets.. :) pretty rare nowadays


Yes, bihera nalang talaga yun mga babae ng ganun sa panahon more of them sobrang practical yun iba Wala na sa lugar.. basta pera goo na agad! :(

#20 FleurDeLune

FleurDeLune

    The Lightworker

  • Moderator
  • 5,175 posts
  • Gender:Female

Posted 06 June 2017 - 03:07 PM

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because Ive become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and thats why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience. _ Meryl Streep quoted it as words she lives by!
Update: originally written by José Micard Teixeira.

Advertisements

 

...which is a timely reflection.
 
Try to search this post on google / yahoo and the search will lead you to "What Women Want That They Don't Tell You", Page 2, Matters of the Heart, ManilaTonight.com.  ;)






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Dating, Self-confidence, Personality Development, Psychology

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users