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A Complicated Relationship


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As a member of the estrogen-packed species, I kinda feel bad for you Wildswans. I don't wanna pass judgment on your gf's behavior, but I guess the reason why you feel really uncomfortable (read: pissed off) in this relationship is that YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL of it anymore. Meaning, you are insecure, unsure, feeling unloved, distrustful, losing your faith in your manhood everyday. Nothing puts a man down than not being on TOP of things, hehe (anybody who likes having a woman on top's gotta be a man so sure of himself). I'm not being sexist oki? Let's just be honest here.

 

Even if we love the person we are with, that love deminishes when our pride is being trampled on, and it will slowly turn to disgust and later, hatred. You're on your way to feeling the latter, man. The thing with you is, instead of defending your pride, your dignity, you chose to be her doormat. What for? For the sex? For the love that you feel she doesn't feel for you anyway? For not being proud of you? What is your reason for staying with her, man?

 

Okay, let's say that it's LOVE. But real love is supposed to be unconditional, dude. When u love, you don't complain. You Just Love. But you are complaining. You are whining. You are very pissed off now. That's not love anymore.

 

I think, more than love, it's your ego that's talking now, Wildswans. It's taking a really bad beating and you feel powerless and that's what's really eating at you. You're angry 'coz you know she's playing with you and you don't know how to reverse the situation. You feel used and abused and you are still making excuses for that. Man, look at you. You have been reduced to snooping into her friendster account! That's pathetic! Sorry for saying that, but it just is.

 

Man, do you really love her? Or you just feel good at being needed by her? The way I see it, you think that she's a lost child and you've appointed yourself to be her guardian, her savior and you wanna protect her and make her happy. That is commendable. Really. THat's what a real man is supposed to be. WE women are all looking for that kind of man. He's perfect. Almost.

 

But we woman are also turned off by a doormat. Nothing turns our hormones off than a man so desperate for love. I guess, that goes vise versa. THis chick is using u for whatever reason, sex, companionship, as a validation of her beauty, as an emotional crutch, whatever. BUt she is with you coz she needs you somehow.

 

But need is not love.

 

I think you both have problems within yourselves that need troubleshooting. Nevermind her. Mind yourself.

 

I think it's YOU that needs loving badly, Wild. But don't expect it from anybody.

 

LOve yourself, man. Completely. And when you finally do, that's the time you can really love someone else.

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If you backread a bit, I've already contributed to this thread. So let me just sum it up..

 

Don't take this personally Wildswans, but hear me out...

 

 

You are both immature and superficial into this relationship.. she's clueless, and you're clueless..

 

TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT ..

 

You both need to mature first before you can get into a serious relationship.. bugoy pa kayong dalawa

 

Cheers!

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yes funny and correct

 

 

Snooty too.

 

LOL.

 

Anyway... have we scared the threadstarter off?

 

Im sorry for being so blunt dude but ...

 

Some things just have to be said as bluntly as possible.

 

I advocate calling things as I see them - it avoids a whole lot of confusion and misunderstanding in the end.

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A piece of what we call complicated, explained

 

 

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became

lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."

 

They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's

okay. They still date. They still have sex.

 

They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other

but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even

her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

 

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same

barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers

and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting

something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he

hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?

 

Sila kaya?

 

"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me.

 

Parang kami, pero hindi."

 

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie,

have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for

his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous.

 

They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it.

 

He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly

because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her

feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's

doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he

has a girlfriend!

 

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both

mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in

posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.

 

They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na"

but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it

doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am

enjoying this -- whatever it is."

 

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual

understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends.

 

Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the

persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.

 

Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have

admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do

the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo

mag-dyowa.

 

Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

 

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different

reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you

want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons

that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

 

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam.

 

Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang

muna.

 

Testing lang.

 

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy

--may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl

(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala

muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi

naman kayo."

 

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung

naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

 

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang

kasiguraduhan.

 

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman

sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

 

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.

 

Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."

 

Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

 

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that

pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun,

if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

 

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din

ako.

 

No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit,

because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't

ready to commit.

 

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

 

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung

kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag

tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya

ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing,

puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

 

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the

emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang

lugi.

 

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you

can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba

magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in

his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel

jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself.

 

Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

 

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if

he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.

 

Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're

not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang.

 

This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship.

 

Or if there is a relationship at all.

 

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?

 

What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?

 

What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to

find out that he is seeing other girls?

 

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a

disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the

end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka

lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

 

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me,"

hindi "us.

 

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh.

 

Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo

maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be

miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out

eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody

else.

 

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd

end up hurting yourself in the process.

 

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna

isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the

consequences.

 

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process,

kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying

what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships

and wait for the real thing.

 

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a

friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.

 

Magpakasaya ka.

 

Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

 

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.

 

Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero

hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya...

almost, but not quite.

 

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have

received.

 

Hope it works for you - and me

 

 

---source..unsolicited email---

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ARROW: That post was very enlightening, thanks!

 

I just wish that in any relationship, there are no gray areas. Tall order, I know, but come to think of it, it's always communication that's causing all our emotional sufferings. Bakit ang tao hindi na lang maging prangka all the time? Bakit hindi natin masabi ng diretsahan ang feelings natin sa isa't isa?

 

We are social human beings and we are all love junkies. Yup. Kahit mag-deny pa ang iba diyan. We are built that way, to want to be with other humans, the need to interact all the time. We are all capable of loving over and over again. Pero isa pang meron ang tao ay pride o ego. This is the greatest enemy of love and they both reside in us. Kaya nating magmahal ng sobra-sobra at balewala naman actually ang masaktan tayo, basta ba hindi ka lang ginagago. Kapag feeling mo niloloko ka na, umaandar na ang pride, magrerebelde na 'yan. More often than not, tinatalo ng pride ang love.

 

Sa totoo lang, honesty lang naman ang kelangan natin eh. Dapat klaro palagi ang stand point ng bawat isa para walang malalagay sa alanganin. Ako kasi, kapag alam ko kung saan ako nakalugar, matatanggap ko ang anumang desisyon, kahit sobrang sakit basta tapatan lang kami sa isa't isa from the get go. Ang mahirap kapag nagmumukha ka ng tanga, nagbibigay ka ng courtesy at respeto sa kanya kasi nga may pagpapahalaga ka sa feelings niya pero parang he doesn't care. Iyon ang masakit. May pinagsamahan naman kayo kahit papaano, at least naman tratuhin ka bilang kaibigan o kahit na tao na lang. Konting respeto lang naman ang kelangan para magkaintindihan. Iyong iba naman, they'd deliberately lie to you to spare you the pain of knowing the truth. I'd prefer blunt honesty anytime. 'Di bale ng malaman ko ang masakit na katotohanan galing mismo sa taong concerned kaysa malaman ko sa iba later na tinatarantado lang pala niya ako. Doon na nagkakawalaan ng respeto. Imbes na maging magkaibigan na lang kayo in the end, magtatanim ng galit ang injured party.

 

Wild:

 

H'wag mong dibdibin masyado ang sitwasyon mo. Tingin ko, hindi mo na siya love. Ano na lang 'yang nararamdaman mo, withdrawal syndrome hehehe. Kasi kung love mo pa siya, hindi ka hihingi ng advice. No amount of advice can keep you off her. Hindi mo iisipin na ginagago ka niya. Hindi ka magda-doubt sa kanya. You'll always have faith in her no matter what. True love is absolute faith and trust amidst overwheming odds.

 

If you really love her, delete this thread. You've heard enough. Keep on loving her. Without question.

If not, walk away from her and move on. On to the next chick, dude. Who knows, you might just get lucky this time. Or take time to be alone and get to know your inner self again. What do you really want in life? I'm sure, being with someone who doesn't love you as you deserve to be is not one of 'em.

 

'nuff said.

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I had just come from a relationship where my ex was a certified player that can't get out of it anymore.. She has two identities..

 

1. the nursing student that is sweet, smart, virgin daw ( ang alam ng nanay). stick to one DAW..

2. Nangkakarir cya ng guys since she early 2004 after her debut.. She has had 54 guys all very well documented in her black book and even sa cell.

3. She accepts Ebs that are actually sebs on the first date if type nya yung guy or the guy would date her..d naman daw cya psp pero she likes guys to spend on her.. may mtc member pa nga made an indecent proposal to her dinedma nya kahit MAGALING yung pagka pm sa myspace.. but with other guys she gives in ..

 

After knowing all that I still loved her.. pero in the end .. so many wrongs too little rights.. now galit na ako sa kanya.. wala na ang love as a bf .. i just love her as EFREN

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dude its better to let go, there is a great chance she not taking you seriously, worse comes to worse you're just a rebound. Maybe its better to take it easy, no relationship what so ever first. After all of this you should be emotionally tired. I know i just came from a rough relationship just as yours. Go out, meet new friends, just take it easy. Dont go out to get a replacement... just enjoy life first. If ever after a month or so and you still want her, then maybe you can give it a try, but for now, take a vacation from her.

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just like to update you guys on what happened recently. i'm sure most of you will react bluntly but feel free to do so coz i appreciate those straight to the point advice rather than just to make me feel better but i hope you guys would understand my part. here it goes:

 

few days ago, i carelessly miss sent a msg(regarding my prob) to my gf intended for a close friend so i had no choice but to talk to her about it.

 

when we're finally face to face, i asked her point blank if she still goes out with her ex. she said no. i asked the 2nd time with a more serious tone and she said they last saw each other MAY 2006 on her birthday. i asked her again to tell the truth and she got somewhat irritated and told me if i were to doubt her then better not continue anymore.

 

i asked her to explain about the secret friendster account. she went quite and asked what friendster so i told her about it including the pic. she said it's her ex who's controlling the account right now and not her. according to her, she and her ex knew each others passwords in friendster and email. when they broke up, her ex changed the password which prompted her to create a new one. she thinks that her ex wants her back coz he invites her out whenever there's a family gathering. i asked if they text or talk to each other alot. she said she only reply to his text. i got pissed and asked her why the hell she told me she's not replying him. she just kept quite. i don't know if she's just trying to be polite that's why she replies to him and told me she's not coz she knows i get jealous easily.

 

i asked her when did they broke up, it was MAY 2006 and i was surprised coz we went into the relationship just last week of JULY 2006 so i asked her if i'm just a rebound guy. she disagree saying that they often had an on-off relationship during the latter part of their relationship and she's so sure of breaking up with him finally coz she didn't cry. she doesn't want her ex anymore according to her coz she's the one who broke up with him.

 

she's quite most of the time during our conversation coz she said she was shocked. she's also dissappointed about the matter coz each time there's something good about to happen, something bad would come up to spoil it like she planned to introduced me to her sister then this thing came up making her think if we're really meant for each other or not.

 

our conversation was cut short coz she still has class so we decided to continue it the next day and she planned to talk to her ex regarding it. i told her that if she still wants her ex back all she has to do is tell me honestly and i would just let her go without 2nd thought and she doesn't need to say anything rather than go out with him behind my back but she insisted she doesn't want him back anymore.

 

the next day she hugs me real tight and cried coz she feels that i like to break up with her already and was ready to let her go then she told me she talked to her ex already.

 

according to her, her ex wants her back. they broke up MARCH 2006 according to the ex but she remembered it was MAY. she got confused coz of their frequent on-off relationship so i don't know who's telling the truth this time. her ex wants her back coz the way they broke up wasn't that clear and he thought there's still a chance for them together. my gf told him all about his shortcomings during the latter year of the relationship and he said he can't change for her like that so my gf told him that she doesn't want him anymore and he just said "di wag".

 

i asked her why one of the pic was dated during the 1st month of our relationship, she said she don't have an idea. she didn't even tell him that she has a BF already coz they didn't get to that topic. if she really don't want him back anymore then i'd think she's just afraid to let her ex know she has a BF already coz she's afraid what her bf would think that she has a BF already after a short span of time. same with, i think, why my gf wants to introduce me as a suitor first to her sister coz she said her sister might get surprise. maybe this is why she can't introduce me to her friends and family also coz they might think i'm just a rebound.

 

i gave her the benefit of the doubt coz i feel what was presented was circumstantial evidence and as you guys have seen that i've been patience all along, i just don't want to do things hastily that i'll regret it afterwards. since i still love her, i'm willing to give her the chance to work on introducing me to her sister then family and friends. i'm just hoping that if she's doing something behind my back then it will come out. it's just a matter of time and maybe then i would have a solid evidence..

 

i don't know if i'm being dumb, confused or what but i still feel something for her and i just don't want to regret breaking up with her in the end but one thing's for sure, i'm now more on using my mind in assesing the situation. i'm being more aware of the things surrounding the relationship right now.

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quote name='wildswans' date='Nov 16 2006, 11:05 PM' post='3907020'

 

 

* i asked her to explain about the secret friendster account. she went quite and asked what friendster so i told her about it including the pic. she said it's her ex who's controlling the account right now and not her.

 

Thats such an easy thing to say ... it doesnt really explain anything but you have to take her word for it. Convenient.

 

** i asked if they text or talk to each other alot. she said she only reply to his text. i got pissed and asked her why the hell she told me she's not replying him. she just kept quite. i don't know if she's just trying to be polite that's why she replies to him and told me she's not coz she knows i get jealous easily.

 

Again... whats your proof? Right now its her word over yours and honestly, I dont think she has given you much reason to believe her. There are more reasons not to.

 

*** she's quite most of the time during our conversation coz she said she was shocked. she's also dissappointed about the matter coz each time there's something good about to happen, something bad would come up to spoil it like she planned to introduced me to her sister then this thing came up making her think if we're really meant for each other or not.

 

Perhaps, and this is just an alternative viewpoint - she was quiet because she couldnt say much to defend herself because you were right on the bat with your hunches...

 

Its so easy to say she planned to introduce you to her sister now. Now when the sh*t hits the fan.

 

**** the next day she hugs me real tight and cried coz she feels that i like to break up with her already and was ready to let her go then she told me she talked to her ex already.

 

Guilt?

 

***** according to her, her ex wants her back. they broke up MARCH 2006 according to the ex but she remembered it was MAY. she got confused coz of their frequent on-off relationship so i don't know who's telling the truth this time.

 

And can you live with not knowing who is telling the truth or not? Can you live with all the questions plaguing your mind about your gf and her ex (?)... with not knowing whether the ex is, indeed, an ex?

 

****** i asked her why one of the pic was dated during the 1st month of our relationship, she said she don't have an idea.

 

I dont think a digitized date on a picture would lie. If the digital date on the picture says it was taken a month into your relationship, then it was. Not unless the ex fixed it up on photoshop. But after all the doubts and the loose ends, do you honestly believe this?

 

"She dont have an idea?" is such a convenient excuse -- much like saying "It was the dog that did it".

 

******* it's just a matter of time and maybe then i would have a solid evidence..

 

In the meanwhile youre okay to play dumb and be used? Instead of using this time to begin picking up the pieces and moving on?

 

******** i don't know if i'm being dumb, confused or what but i still feel something for her and i just don't want to regret breaking up with her in the end but one thing's for sure, i'm now more on using my mind in assesing the situation. i'm being more aware of the things surrounding the relationship right now.

 

You dont want to regret breaking up with her you say. But dont you regret wasting precious time and effort on a relationship that seems unfair? One thats beset by questions and more questions... doubts upon doubts?

 

Youre not being aware, youre being hopeful. And given what you have told us about your situation - im not sure thats a good thing to be.

 

But its your life. This post is, at best, unsolicited advice - something you can read and discard.

Edited by Joie
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Joie,

 

sorry for the confusion. the date on the pic that i'm talking about is not the digitized one found in the picture itself but i'm talking about the "caption" option in friendster where you can say stuff about the picture you posted. if it were the digitized one found in the picture itself then i would've break up with her already with no 2nd thoughts.

 

just want to clarify. :)

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Oh boy...

 

Is she sooooo beautiful that you can't afford to let go of her?

 

Your attention is so focused on her that you appear to have intentionally blinded yourself to other girls who may have the potential to love you more sincerely than your present girl.

 

My two cents' lang bro...

Edited by cuatro_ojos
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Joie,

 

sorry for the confusion. the date on the pic that i'm talking about is not the digitized one found in the picture itself but i'm talking about the "caption" option in friendster where you can say stuff about the picture you posted. if it were the digitized one found in the picture itself then i would've break up with her already with no 2nd thoughts.

 

just want to clarify. :)

 

 

And that small fact is supposed to be consolation enough for you for all these lies and half truths that you have been subjected too?

 

Dude, im a woman. This is not disloyalty to my gender when I say this - youve hooked up with a player who has managed to twist you around her little finger so tight you cant see straight.

 

There are many other women in this world who will treat you better and make you happier.

 

Do you honestly think you can be happy with a relationship like this? Or with a GF who is carrying all these emotional baggage around?

 

At some point, doubt and mistrust will make you more miserable than you might be now, or you will ever be in the future.

Edited by Joie
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Wildswans:

 

Quit questioning or doubting your decisions anymore. Quit bugging us for advice you don't really need. Stop puking your s@%t out only to slurp them all back in. And no, don't use your mind in loving. It'll never work. Love and smarts are a bad combination. They'd always k*ll each other and leave the person a complete mess, with NOTHING.

 

We've all had our share of broken hearts at some point in our lives and did we all love like there was no tomorrow? I think no one is immuned to this. Lahat tayo ay natatanga talaga sa pag-ibig. Others choose to use their brains in loving. That's crap. Real happiness has nothing to do with intellect. It's pure feeling. All the mighty have fallen hard for love. You are not alone, dude. Your predicament is a classic case and it will happen again ang again to other mortals today and in the future. Because love is the perpetual E of humans:) hehe

 

Kaya lang, marami kami na burned beyond recognition na sa usapang amour kaya we cringe at the thought of being vulnerable again, like you. As I was reading your recent post, I kinda feel bad for my initial comments. Forgive my ascerbic remarks, even if they happened to be the truth.

 

So, congratulations on being a doormat. Enjoy it while it lasts hehe. Hindi mo naman talaga mafi-feel ang depth ng love mo sa isang tao if you are not willing to totally lose control. If this is not true, then wala na siguro tayong maririnig na sob love songs sa radio. That's the drawback of loving. You have to be totally vulnerable to be able to really feel it. And we all crave for that high, but most of us are afraid. Hindi naman lahat ng tao, swerte na makatagpo ng perfect match nila. Kalimitan, minamalas talaga. But still we secretely hope, that one day we will find this person whom we can love completely and vise versa without sacrificing our pride and our dignity. But I still admire people who are willing to risk it all for love. Like you.

 

So, quit thinking too much, dude.

 

Just love.

 

Kung saan ka masaya, doon ako. Peace!

Edited by Goddessa
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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest majadera

wildswans,

 

the longer you stay in that hell hole relationship, the harder it is to get out. believe me.

 

as i always say: "when in doubt. flee."

 

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.... Benefit of the Doubt only applies on your first few months... if longer, that's stupidity.

 

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better...

 

Just stop this. Cut the cord and deal with it. (easier said than done. i know. am a fool too. :lol: )

 

Time spent in whining and uncertainties would be better spent in getting ahead. don't you think?

 

oh.. also.. Always put yourself and your happiness first. :)

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we broke up already. actually, she broke up with me just when i planned to break up with her the same day.

 

i caught her lying to me. someone close to her family saw us at a mall. she was so afraid and begin to get paranoid. she said that person would be invited to her sister's debut party and would surely talk about seeing us so she told me that whatever happens i should always remember that she loves me and the coming days would be a make or break thing for us.

 

i was pissed at what she's saying coz instead of trying to fight for our relationship first, she's trying to bail out of it. she gave me the same reason again that she's afraid her mom won't let her go to school. she told me that, at this point, she can't survive without her parents. she can try fighting for me but only in words coz her parents holds her by her neck and she owes her parents her life.

 

sure enough, judgement day came and the one who saw us told her mom about us. according to her, her mom was so pissed that she was slapped during the party and she felt embarrased to those who saw it. she claimed her mom confiscated her cp that's why she wasn't able to text me for more than 12 hours.

 

the next day, she said she got her cp back coz she told her mom she was the group leader in some of her subjects and she's needed by her groupmates. my gut feel somehow tells me she's lying to me but i didn't confront her about it anymore. the next day, she told me she wasn't allowed to go to school anymore and what not.

 

unfortunately, i found out she was indeed going to school and was just lying to me. it hurts me alot so i decided to break up with her but the next morning, she refused to meet me saying that she's not yet allowed to go to school. i sort of pressured her a bit and she got pissed so she break up with me thru text. i didn't tell her that i know she was lying to me.

 

few days after the breakup, she tells me she misses me and wants to meet up with me if she's allowed to go to school already. i got pissed and told her about her lying to me. she said she didn't want to explain things anymore and i got a little pushy that she got pissed even more.

 

i guess what happen wasn't that surprising anymore considering that she's been a bit cold with me few days prior to the break up incident.

 

i was able to feel some sigh of relief that it's over and somehow felt good about it but as my anger slowly subsides, i'm beginning to feel the pain and i'm beginning to miss her already but i know it's all over already and i don't think i can trust her again so now i'm trying to pick up the pieces and trying to move on.

 

btw, the gf of my ex-gf's ex's brother confirms that my ex-gf is still seeing the "ex". from what she said, sila pa daw and taken na daw yung ex-gf ko. she didn't mentioned about them breaking up and getting together so i guess she was two timing and i'm the #2. of course, i didn't let that girl know who i really am but deep inside my gut feel is telling me she just telling a half truth maybe coz i'm just in the denial stage..i don't know for sure.

 

thank you for all your patience and time in giving me your piece of advice. i really appreciates it. :)

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  • 4 months later...

Methinks MTC's got a lot of shrinks.

 

The dude simply wants the girl, the girl is confused (with two guys), boy wants to break up (but can't - without a valid reason), girl can't seem to break up with guy (s), needs the pampering and some deep-down lovin' always.

 

Everybody can't seem to decide! Everybody's got benefits, and who doesn't want benefits?!

 

Pero ok din yan, people discuss. Maybe someone somewhere needs an advise.

 

Dude, scoot. Best advise, make up your mind. Us peeps can only give our two cents.

 

Or it has been half a year. Any update on your saga? :goatee: :blush:

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a relationship only becomes complicated if the persons involved are complicated too.

those who have unsettled conflicts from their pasts.. hangups.. yadah, yadah..

 

gee..i've been there.. at first it felt like sunshine.. later, it feels like suicide..

ayoko na..

Edited by _Honey_
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