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Books To Be Turned In To Movies.


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One of the best examples of this is the Lord of the Rings Series.

 

Although the movies are excellent and i enjoyed them all - the books explain a lot about the characters, races involved and setting that can't be learnt from the films.

 

If you like the movies read the books for more insight into the whole adventure.

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For all of you Hitcherhiker's fans this is piece below is attributed to Douglas Adams.

 

Although there are some mistakes regarding the animals it is still extremely funny:

 

The Confusing Country Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a

large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like

an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs

which plunge deep into the girding sea. Geologists assure us that this is

simplyan accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight" proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can't spell either.

 

The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the

place. Where other land masses and sovereign lands are classified as

either continent, island, or country, Australia is considered all three.

Typically,it is unique in this.

 

The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can

be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true

that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of

them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most

poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all. But even the spiders won't go near the sea. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on) under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task.

 

Strangely, it tends to be the second class of animals (the Odd) that

are more dangerous. The creature that kills the most people each year is the common Wombat. It is nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends its life digging holes in the ground, in which it hides. During the night it come out to eat worms and grubs.

 

The wombat kills people in two ways: First, the animal is

indestructible. Digging holes in the hard Australian clay builds muscles that outclass Olympic weightlifters. At night, they often wander the roads.

 

Semi-trailers (Road Trains) have hit them at high speed, with all 9

wheels on one side, and this merely makes them very annoyed. They express this by snorting, glaring, and walking away. Alas, to smaller cars, the wombat becomes an asymmetrical launching pad, with results that can be imagined, but not adequately described.

 

The second way the wombat kills people relates to its burrowing

behaviour. If a person happens to put their hand down a Wombat hole, the Wombat will feel the disturbance and think "Ho! My hole is collapsing!" at which it will brace its muscled legs and push up against the roof of its burrow with incredible force, to prevent its collapse. Any unfortunate hand will be crushed, and attempts to withdraw will cause the Wombat to simply bear down harder. The unfortunate will then bleed to death through their crushed hand as the wombat prevents him from seeking assistance. This is considered the third most embarrassing known way to die, and Australians don't talk about it much.

 

At this point, we would like to mention the Platypus, estranged relative of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays

eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel, and has venomous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all 'typical'

Australian attributes into a single improbable creature.

 

The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. First, a

short history: Some time around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and lot of them died. The ones that survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in, and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories.

 

Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the

north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.

 

About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It

is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick.

 

Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on Extended

Holiday and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep,

caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finelytuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.

 

There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are

simply the nicest and best in the entire world. Although anyone actually

venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish,

stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will k*ll just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk.

 

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would

expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly,

cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger,

unless they are an American. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major

engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string, and mud.

 

Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass

is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly

proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz", "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country") and "Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth." The irritating thing

about this is they may be right.

 

There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller, though. Do not

under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a

Hawaiian shirt. Religion and Politics are safe topics of conversation

(Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield. The only correctanswer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best

{insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!".

 

It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will

´adopt' you, and on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an

astonishing hangover, a foul-taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes.

 

Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal

difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took

him to the pub.", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his

notebook. Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture.

 

Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the

primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.

 

Typical Australian sayings

--------------------------

"G'Day!"

 

"It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."

 

"She'll be right."

 

"And down from Kosciusko, where the pine clad ridges raise their

torn and

rugged battlements on high, where the air is clear is crystal, and the

white

stars fairly blaze at midnight in the cold and frosty sky. And where,

around

the overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway to the breezes, and the

rolling

plains are wide. The Man from Snowy River is a household word today,

and

the stockmen tell the story of his ride."

 

Tips to Surviving Australia

---------------------------

Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We

mean it.

 

The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you

think it is.

 

Always carry a stick.

 

Air-conditioning.

 

Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained

linguist and good in a fistfight.

 

Thick socks.

 

Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are

people nearby.

 

If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you

at all times, or you will die.

 

Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is

always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.

 

See Also: "Deserts: How to die in them", "The Stick: Second most useful

thing ever" and "Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects,

animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1-42"

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  • 4 weeks later...

[Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is already in production and is due out next year. One of my favorite books of all time. Hilarious. I just hope the movie version contains all the wit and humor as the books.

 

Thanks for reminding me the 'hitchiker's' . i read it when i was in high school. this is one truly funny book and the images that it gives to the reader is awesome. it is now on my 5 top list

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  • 7 months later...
I just finished reading several books that will be made into movies in the near future.

 

Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game & Ender's Shadow will be made into a single movie due on 2006. If you guys enjoyed the Artemis Fowl series and Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers, you'll enjoy these books. When I read them, it took me only a day and a half to read these books, they're that good.

 

Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is already in production and is due out next year. One of my favorite books of all time. Hilarious. I just hope the movie version contains all the wit and humor as the books.

 

Oh and of course, Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code is also being made by Ron Howard no less. I'm not expecting much from this movie since I didn't enjoy the book and I don't have that much respect for Ron Howard as a filmmaker. Blah.

 

 

I loved Ender's Game and Ender's Shadow , as well as the whole Ender series and Shadow series. Orson Scott Card is the most versatile scifi writer of all time. I cannot wait for the movie to come out ( should have some cool special effects) but im afraid i will be terriibly disappointed. Like the terrible Dune movies.

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