preacher Posted November 23, 2006 Author Share Posted November 23, 2006 Good points ladies and gents. I guess in the end, it all boils down to differences in personalities.Yes there are "nice guys" who ae hiding behind this facade in the hopes that they won't be called insecure wimps. There are also those people who are hiding behind this "nice guy" mask but in reality are only after some booty. But then every so often, there are people who takes good care of their women. They're gentlemen with a secure sense of themselves. They make the decissions but always takes his partner into consideration. He's not loud but he speaks his mind, he's not violent but won't hesitate to fight if needed be. The conundrum is that these nice guys are still being left behind and over taken despite these characteristics. Maybe we'll never know. But just maybe by this simple exchange, we can have a glimpse of an answer.... :mtc: Quote Link to comment
sampatsiaw Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 good girls goes out with the bad guy flirts with the bad guy takes him home...but marries the good guy Quote Link to comment
tagpi Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 An all around bad guy probably looks rough (stubbles, scars, tattoos), has a cold stare, in control, hates being bitched and prefers doing the btiching/cussing, drinks, smokes, kicks ass (literally). But the later on he gets knifed, gunned down, kicked in the ass as well by other bad guy wannabes. Oh, movies. You'd probably pick a bad guy in the sense that he can protect you, take control of things while being mature and a bit rough on the side. Mysterious, manly, dependable. Can do some carpentry, cut wood, fetch water, change tires, wears undershirts and jeans to the mall with sneakers on. And looks good in it. You'd probably get the good guy for the finer edges, being in touch with his feminine side (er...metrosexual), the thoughfulness. CAring and emotionally stable, soft spoken, also cool. And someone who looks good in dockers, slip ons and a nice branded sport shirt. My 2 cents is that most ladies pick the guy with the softer side, at least for those looking for a long-term relationship. Ayaw nila ng magulo ang utak. Bad boys are just poster boys, the good ones are taken home and presented to mama. :goatee: Quote Link to comment
Waterbearer Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 After all they've been through with their ex's, why do they still prefer dysfunctional relationships over guys who treat them nicely and with caring and due respect? Are you one of them? Quote Link to comment
angel_by_day Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 (edited) well, we're talking about women here who've had history of any form of abuse in the past....whether sexual or otherwise. With such history, these particular set would often than not, settle for just anybody who would shower them with the least attention and care, whether these guys are jerks or decent ones. The trauma, the stigma is there...and will be there for a long time....sometimes too long that they tend to have distorted images of themselves....that they can only deserve as much....nothing beyond that....nothing better than that....and often too, they do not see the bad guy as "bad"....they tend to take the blame for whatever dysfunctional thing that may happen....thus the cycle.... It's more than just a hurt ego....often, there is loss of self-esteem, loss of self-worth....and this is something which is not easy to rehabilitate. this is a pretty interesting, and should i say, realistic thread....i hope our kind moderator will not close this.... Edited July 23, 2007 by angel_by_day Quote Link to comment
mangkiroyalty Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 more of a PATTERN, sad to say. Quote Link to comment
DELISYUS Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 (edited) if, at any age in your life, you went through a roller coaster of emotions because of abuse, or just plain emotional neglect... you become hooked on the feeling, and thus it becomes a pattern by hooked... one can mean addicted (to the rush of small rewards and slivers of hope that he'd change, or things will get better), or it's the only thing you know or believe you deserve (because your self-worth was low or nil in the first place, or because you were betrayed/fooled without seeing it coming before), or you can't get past the experience (was it anything you did or failed to do?), or you actually enjoy it (because it makes you feel good if ever you get to change someone for the better, etc) i've always maintained that only the really insecure ones (or fine, yung gusto yung sakit ng ulo) are attracted by bad, abusive, neglectful, unfaithful partners... kasi if you know your worth, then you won't need someone to hurt you and disappoint you just to have the drama or thrill you want in your life... you'd rent out a movie or go bungee jumping instead... Edited July 23, 2007 by DELISYUS Quote Link to comment
JudeLaw Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 typically the type of women who keeps ending up on this kind of relationship are those with really low self-esteem. And that having a rather chaotic relationship somehow makes them feel they are above the matter. Low self-esteemers feel like they are designed or destined to be "martyrs" and bear the sufferings. It's usually scary for them if the situation is normal, making them harder to accept that abuse not part a happy relationship. Henct, the tendency is one way or another for these women to create a conflict or situation which would lead to grave abuses...and get the normalcy they unconsciously need. well, we're talking about women here who've had history of any form of abuse in the past....whether sexual or otherwise. With such history, these particular set would often than not, settle for just anybody who would shower them with the least attention and care, whether these guys are jerks or decent ones. The trauma, the stigma is there...and will be there for a long time....sometimes too long that they tend to have distorted images of themselves....that they can only deserve as much....nothing beyond that....nothing better than that....and often too, they do not see the bad guy as "bad"....they tend to take the blame for whatever dysfunctional thing that may happen....thus the cycle.... It's more than just a hurt ego....often, there is loss of self-esteem, loss of self-worth....and this is something which is not easy to rehabilitate. this is a pretty interesting, and should i say, realistic thread....i hope our kind moderator will not close this.... Quote Link to comment
Frida Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 more of a PATTERN, sad to say. not really, baka nagkakataon lang. It is hard to explain kung bakit eh. Let us not underestimate the cliche "Love is blind." --------------------Jericho Rosales and his Jeans band super suck! Quote Link to comment
angel_by_day Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 typically the type of women who keeps ending up on this kind of relationship are those with really low self-esteem. And that having a rather chaotic relationship somehow makes them feel they are above the matter. Low self-esteemers feel like they are designed or destined to be "martyrs" and bear the sufferings. It's usually scary for them if the situation is normal, making them harder to accept that abuse not part a happy relationship. Henct, the tendency is one way or another for these women to create a conflict or situation which would lead to grave abuses...and get the normalcy they unconsciously need. well said. There are two perpetrators....the guy, and her own self. Quote Link to comment
phookie22 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 my guy is a bad guy gone good. but sometimes it gets boring. sometimes i wonder why he doesn't cheat on me. he says he's had his share of trouble and would want to get away from it. but i'm still worried about his fidelity if we get married later on. i know i should feel lucky but i'm still tempted to look for other guys. grr... Quote Link to comment
reachard Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 maybe... ~ taking them as a challenge~ astig~ bad boys are good in sex haha Quote Link to comment
freedom99 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 challenge and pleasure na din siguro....thats the real essence of masculinity kasi daw eh. brusko medyo bastos and you that badboy stuff. parang protected sila in a way. yung mga malamya kumilos eh parang wala daw gana hahaha...sabi ng mga kaibigan kong girls yan Quote Link to comment
nobody17 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 hmmm....i don't think it has anything to do with bein good or bad....i've have friends na both types of guys and some of them are into relationships and some are married........so i guess it's not really a choice based on wether he is a good guy or a bad guy.... i think it's something else....it's probably how the women theya re with define the man they want to be with.......what ever thier standards are sa kanila na lang un.... what ever floats you're boat ika nga... Quote Link to comment
nobody17 Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Theres only thing that was clear to me upon reading that column: good guys are NOT attractive. Dating is a cruel market, and there is a reason why some brands sell mad and leave other brands at the shelves. Asking women to "expand their circles" is like a plea of mercy from the average frustrated nice guy. Its just pathetic. it's not that they are't attractive it's just that they aren't flashy........think of it this way if you see two different girls walking side by side on a street one had the geeek thing goin tapos di ganon kaganda ang fashion statement niya and then another girl na kasing ganda din nya but nearly baring it all san ka titingin? ofcourse dun sa other gril who's flashy it's not a plea from an averge guy i think what the author of that article simply said is to see people ina different light....a goood guy maybe boring to look at ubt you really wouldn't know unless you take time to know him.....he maybe a boring ass database employee pero baka stud sa kama yan or probably a rock and roll guitarist with face smelting guiar solos to blow you're head off anyway thats how i see it it's just my two cents thou Quote Link to comment
Megan Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Good boy na medyo maginoo naman!! Quote Link to comment
ligtasan Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 I used to be an @$$hole...er, badboy in high school. The fighting, the hanging out with the rough crowd, etc. The girls I ended up attracting were the nice girls with a martyr complex or the school skanks/sluts who had so many boys by sophmore year you could drive a trailer truck through their you-know-what. I've never hit a girl but some of those really pushed me to my limits. This was a phase. I grew out of it, I matured. Guys who still act like this past their teens are simply hiding some flaw in their character (real or perceived). Usually they're nothing more than drunks, future wifebeaters, or have low self-esteem that they're looking for some girl to be with so they have someone to push around to make them feel better. What I know is that girls like the rough image and the whole "caveman"/primal BS they attach to someone who's a bad boy. Nice guys on the other hand....are perceived as weak (intelligent, polite, but isn't able to defend his woman in a fight or please her in bed). It's sad but for the most part nice guys DO finish last because of this. How would you ladies feel about a reformed bad boy that has all the traits you attach to a bad boy but is able to actually listen to you when you talk and every once in a while surprise you by doing something romantic and unexpected? Quote Link to comment
rgx621d Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 thank god i don't have a bad boy image. i usually attract good girls that i dont have a problem trusting. its them who doesnt trust me sometimes. Quote Link to comment
machogwapito69 Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Lets just say that I'm a "GOOD GUY WITH THE BAD BOY LOOKS" Believe me......... After 3-4 weeks........Nagugulat sila........Bakit daw ganun? Ang ANGAS-ANGAS daw ng dating ko.........Pero mabait naman pala ako Well all I can say is........ The Good Guy attitude combined with the Bad Boy looks........IS A DEADLY COMBINATION Quote Link to comment
_Honey_ Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 (edited) good boy.. ayoko ng kunsumisyon.. dahil pag ako naging bad, nobody can ever tame me. Edited January 20, 2008 by _Honey_ Quote Link to comment
poip0i Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 pag bad daw kse mas lalong nasty.. hehe Quote Link to comment
wOwShakes Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I'm not sure if there is an existing thread, but I just can't figure out what women want. Maybe it is true that nice guys finish last, sometimes never at all.... ako yaw ko sa good boy.. kasi sa ending nagiging bad boys din cla.. MY GOD! hindi nmn kasi santo ang hanap ko sa lalake.. wala na un sa panahon ngaun.. :upside: mas okay pa ang bad guys sa ngaun kc CHALLENGING!!! :thumbsupsmiley: ang ang ending, pag inalagaan mo lang cla ng mabuti.. mahalin.. :hypocritesmiley: mamahalin ka nila ng wala halo biro.. at di na nila kaya humilay kasi they realized na masaya na sya sayo.. :hypocritesmiley: :thumbsupsmiley: Quote Link to comment
Tank Girl Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 women who have low self esteem attract bad boys because they wanted to be treated like poop Quote Link to comment
Tank Girl Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 The thing is, is I think we want both. We say we want the nice guy and really mean we want the bad guy but I think we most of us really want an equal moderation of both. I don't see why any of the guys in the article posted above feel they need to make a complete 180 degree change forever and blame it all on women. Why not meet them half way? I just don't understand why men think, when us females want someone who isn't a geek or socially unacceptable together, that we somehow want to be called a bitch and either slapped around or talked down to lie piss. Sorry for the word usage. Women are attracted to a rough and tough male when it means she is protected and being taken care of. And we want the nice guy to love us and cherish us like there isn't other women out there. Men find it easier to be one or the other because it's more difficult to juggle a personality change than it is for a women who tend to go through them daily. Quote Link to comment
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