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A Complicated Relationship


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i did noticed that she's not into me and i know that she's not completely over her ex yet but what i don't understand is how can you guys tell that she doesn't love me? am i missing something here?

 

i'm confused coz she can somehow love me right and maybe she somehow did or trying but since she haven't gotten over her ex yet then she's having divided attention...that's possible right? coz when you say that she doesn't love me and stringing me along, it sounded like manloloko talaga siya from the start.

 

or is it just because she hasn't gotten over her ex yet and then jumping into a new relationship already and in turn, not being into me kaya niyo nasabing hindi niya ako love at niloloko lang ako?

 

maybe somebody can enlightment on my query.

 

she's not into you. yun lang. no need to explain.

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so you guys are pretty sure that this is a case of her not getting over her ex yet rather than age gap or just fooling around?

 

Yup she has hang ups pa if she really recently broke up with her ex. This is dangerous baka rebound guy ka lang. It happened to me and it sucks bigtime. Or worst they are still together and shes playing you. Its hard pero its all up to you. You dont even know us so no matter what we suggest you are still gonna follow what you want. I been in that situation before na no matter what my close friend say, i still do what I want kasi mahal mo nga yung tao maski niloloko na ko and niloloko rin nya yung other guy. Na two time kasi ako and she admitted it to me before i discovered it kaya nga I respected her decision to break up. Pero mahirap talaga. The funny thing is even if hindi na kami we still go out and have sex. Tapos sila pa din naman nung new bf nya. Alam ko na sila pa kasi she makes me wear condoms every time we have sex eh nung kami wala naman. Feeling nya kasi I will get her pregnant. I told my close friends about it and they told me get out of the mess wag ako pumayag na ganon. Leave her Leave her and dont make her choose kung ako or yung isang guy. Kasi if she doing you both at the same time you can never trust a girl like that. She can do that to me also (ayy oo nga nauna na pala akong naiputan hehehe). Tama naman sila but I insisted to be very stupid dragged for 6 moths I think. Until Sabi ko sa sarili ko I will take baby steps out of it kasi ayaw ko na tapos one morning na lang I snapped out of it. Parang Magic ayaw ko nalang. Thats the time naman na sabi nya kami na lang daw ulit wala na yung isa. She needed the guy DAW for her studies not for anything else. Mas enjoy daw sya makipagsex sa kin. Lalo akong naliwanagan. Kaya sabi ko sorry theres no coming back but we can be friends. Tapos sabi nya okey but Magsex muna kami for the last time. Sorry lalaki lang ako so I did have sex with her sa house pa nila. Tapos non wala na. Text text na lang kami tapos nag ka girl friend na ko bago.

 

Sorry guys mahaba. But the point of the matter is its all up to you. Take baby steps, date someone enjoy and seriously avoid her. One day youll snap out of it too.

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Firstly, we can only see one side of the story .... yours.

 

But based on your account of the relationship, I can infer or even conclude the following things:

 

1.) she has a big emotional baggage about her ex bf

2.) she's not decided on you yet - maybe it's related to #1)

3.) she's hiding things from you (e.g. friendster, chatting)

4.) there's no buy-in from the parents. The family has not embraced you as a suitor

5.) she has exhibited no emotional stability in the relationship

 

I don't really see anything worth clinging on to this relationship not unless you're :

 

a.) getting mind-blowing sex from her;

b.) you're unattractive and your options are limited;

 

You got one part of the equation right though. Love is about action even if it's not reciprocated. But you will usually dedicate yourself in this type of relationship if it has matured (to marriage of course). But your relationship seems very young, immature, and based on superficial exchanges of texting love-you messages.

 

From my perspective, you have related a relationship that really has no moral basis. She's not truthful, decided, or firm about anything. This is a one-way street. I suggest you get the f*ck out and use your time more productively.

 

Cheers.

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oooh no.....i think you should start thinking about yourself, forget about women for awhile and drive.....women are soooo complicated...and you're probably exhausted your last iota for a nobody.....Forget her....not worth it..not worth your time....

 

I second the motion. amidst the complexities and insanity of it all lies our inner self that we lost somehow, somewhere and we've forgotten all about. There'll be always a time for some isolation... for me its like quitting smoking... the addiction is there, but sometimes we have to learn how to quit no matter how many times we fail at least we try sometimes and perhaps just perhaps that sometime will be the time we'll find our true selves minus the insanity and the complexities.

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or is it just because she hasn't gotten over her ex yet and then jumping into a new relationship already

 

this in my opinion is probably the best explanation....you wouldn't want to be the "boy on the side" right? im not saying she doesnt love you....BUT its pretty obvious shes still into or currently with her ex...dont make yourself suffer bro...right now its not really worth it....you're just exhausting yourself emotionally and psychologically :wacko:

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uchisy is right .... when we expect something from what little shown ... it may just be a recipe for a disaster ....

.. it is not bad to be Optimistic in MATH and SCIENCE... but such cases only a MIRACLE can

 

It is also easy to give advices .... take your time being with Friends .... isipin mo kng ano ang VALUE na imortante sa iyo

if it is LOVE hang-on

if it is DIGNITY then move on

 

too much expectations is a poison lot....women,you can't change men even when you marry them and men, women will always be like their mothers and look like them when they get old...
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uchisy is right .... when we expect something from what little shown ... it may just be a recipe for a disaster ....

.. it is not bad to be Optimistic in MATH and SCIENCE... but such cases only a MIRACLE can

 

It is also easy to give advices .... take your time being with Friends .... isipin mo kng ano ang VALUE na imortante sa iyo

if it is LOVE hang-on

if it is DIGNITY then move on

 

Yes yes yes indeed! lomex...i think some people have unrealistic expectations about their partners, you have to accept them as they are..thats why you got into the relationship..if in the beggining you find something odd and nasty, you have the choice to get out...some people beat around the bush and blame it on love, blame it on the rain ,blame it on peer pressure for being miserable...expectations are yours, and its yours to own and its your fault when you get hurt..

 

yes take your time being with other people..dignity and self-respect ang konsensya mo...trust it, embrace it

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Well if we may put it ... our friend here may have the right to his choices

.. and in the given situation ... he could not hardly make one because he is getting different signals....

 

In life there are crossroads, it is our prerogative to take the left or to take the right

.... staying in the crossroad and wait for a miracle may also be one's choice ....

 

Time ticks ... we have no control over time but for every tick and event transpires and believe me

most of these events are within our control ....

Life is short ..... how many events can we really squeeze into it?

Your call.....

 

Yes yes yes indeed! lomex...i think some people have unrealistic expectations about their partners, you have to accept them as they are..thats why you got into the relationship..if in the beggining you find something odd and nasty, you have the choice to get out...some people beat around the bush and blame it on love, blame it on the rain ,blame it on peer pressure for being miserable...expectations are yours, and its yours to own and its your fault when you get hurt..

 

yes take your time being with other people..dignity and self-respect ang konsensya mo...trust it, embrace it

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I agree but it may be more than that ....

 

some counselling, pampering, caring ...

 

ang babae nga naman ... but some really could not just get out of their past

 

dito na ang disapperaing, avoiding, vanishing

 

my advice is give her one hell of a sexperience. cgurado makakalimutan nya ang ex nya
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if i decided to break with her na, i should tell her the reason why right? that i found her secret friendster account and her going out with her supposed ex?

 

i don't plan to tell her kasi that i found out about it by snooping around her email sent folder although she gave me her password without me asking.

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you don't have to tell her what you found out unless she really wants to. But this doesn't help.

 

Just tell her that you don't feel that you're the one and that she still have hangups with her ex. She can resolve that and if she still wants you then maybe you can try again. But for now, give her time and space.

 

If you just want to be her fubu, then just don't expect more and just enjoy the fubu relationship. I'm happy with this. :)

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the reason that i thought of telling her what i've found out is because i want to have a basis or reason to break up with her. if i'll just break up with her and tell her because she still has hung up with her ex without any basis, she'll just accused me of making an alibi that she still has hung up with her ex. she'll just pass the blame on me. also, i don't like the breakup to be sort of revenge on her cheating or shortcomings.

 

i just want to be clear that's all but i don't know if it will have any negative effect if i tell her that i found out what she's hiding and what will be the negative result will be that's why i'm asking.

 

hope you guys understand. :)

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Just show your balls to this lady of yours and tell her what you really want in this relationship. Are you exclusive to each other? Arent you jealous of seeing a pic of her with her ex? Do you still wanna take more of her pretty girl bullshit? Its what you want that matters.. thats the only reason you should have, and theres no need to justify that to anybody.

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if i decided to break with her na, i should tell her the reason why right? that i found her secret friendster account and her going out with her supposed ex?

 

i don't plan to tell her kasi that i found out about it by snooping around her email sent folder although she gave me her password without me asking.

 

 

Put it as simply and as plainly as you can by telling her that you dont think she is into your supposed relationship as much as you are.

 

If she asks why tell her that you just "know".

 

Just break it off. And break it off soon.

 

That will make it easier and faster for you to move on.

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Just show your balls to this lady

 

I am very much in favor of this course of action

 

nothing gets a woman more commited than hairy man balls

 

i want to have a basis or reason to break up with her.

 

WTH do you need this for?

 

isn't the fact that you feel that you don't work great together enough?

 

I say cowboy up and just tell her what you feel

 

that and show her your balls

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I am very much in favor of this course of action

 

nothing gets a woman more commited than hairy man balls ...

 

that and show her your balls

 

Larry, youre actually funny.

 

And wildswans, what else do you need to see, feel and understand before you wisen up to the fact that in this so called relationship, you are on the losing end and have been there ever since this started?

 

Save some dignity for yourself and walk away now.

 

You dont need to explain anything... you dont owe her anything.

 

At this point, your lookout is YOU.

 

No one else.

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