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Welcome To Haliparutan Alley! Tsantsararan!

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#1 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 09:38 AM

Ola! Been a member since 2003 but just decided to create a room at last! Dahil pagod na ako maghanap ng threads and topics na ma-po-postan ng rants, raves, kwentong walang kwenta ko (basta hindi FR)

 

Friends call me Alex (syempre not my real name, pero pag pinanganak ulit ako tapos pwede mamili ng name, yan gusto ko pangalan)

Been an active member from 2003-2005 until I moved to Singapore and worked for 6 years, naging active ulit pag balik.

 

So yeah. Tamad pa ako mag salitype so mamya ulit. Meron ako mahabang kwento about Taxi drivers sa Singapore. (hindi SEXperience, dyosko!)



#2 femcasanova

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 10:08 AM

Hi!!! Congrats s room! Hala ilabas mo lahat ng rants mo sa buhay.. makikirant din ako..

#3 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 10:21 AM


==== Kwentong Taxi Driver====

 

Sabi nila ang pinaka mainam na tourguide ay mga taxi driver. Sa kanila malalaman mo ang mga bagay na hindi mo makikita sa mga travel guide books or history ng mga lugar. Pwede din silang boses ng masa ng isang bansa kung isa kang turista. Mga tsismis sa kanto, kuro kuro, mga bagay at mga bagay na di mo malalaman kung saan saan lang.  Sa katunayan, sa taxi drivers ko lang nalaman ang karamihang karunungan ko sa Singapore.
 
Eksena number 1:
Galing sa party, pauwi ng bahay , madaling araw. Nakakuha ako ng unexpected field report about sa mga babae sa Geylang.
 
Ako: Uncle, lorong 28 Geylang.
Driver: Ahh… which way, geylang ah? You Filipino ah?
Ako: we go via Guillemard. Yeah, how can you tell.
Driver: You, babaero aah. Hahahahaha
Ako: Where did you learn that word?
Driver: My Filipina gerpren told me.
 
Nag umpisa na mag kwento si uncle. Dahil papunta ako sa Geylang, nag assume na agad sya na may gagawin akong kababalaghan.
Driver: Dun waste your money with tseena gels ah. Outside they vely sweet. Once you pay money inside they just shake your didi until you cum then finish leh. Waste of 100 dallah.
            Better take those indo(nesian) gels at lorong 10, you pay 30 or 40 dallah good sevis oready. Best sevise are Thailand ger. Veli veli good sevise.
 
====
Eksena number 2:
Kung gano kalaki ang Singapore
 
Driver: I drive 20 years. First time flood like this. Siao ah (crazy) bettah commute but MRT faulty too. Dun know what’s happening leh.
            They dig dig for mrt. Yellow line, brown line, why need so many lines lah, Singapore so small what? I drive from Changi to Tuas in 1hour! Aiyoo!
=====
 
Eksena number 3:
Pasikat na driver
 
Driver: You Filipino ah?
Ako: Yup, how did you know?
Driver: How you speak. I kenna learn Filipino too. Salamat po!
Ako: Cool, where did you learn?
Driver: I have lots of Filipino passengers, night shift call centers and club gels.
Ako: Ah…
Driver: Kaliwa, kanan? Hahahahaha. (kahit na nasa flyover kami at wala naman lilikuan)
 
======
Eksena number 5
 
Kabastusan.
 
Driver: Filipino language almost same same with malay language
Ako: I know, Pintu, Batu, Gunting…
Driver: Yah lah, I understood what you talking back there.
Ako: Bro, what’s the Malay word for FART
Driver: Fat?
Ako: Fart
Driver: What? Fat ah?
Ako: No, no, fart. You know puuuttt and then bad smell? (habang diniscribe nakaturo ako sa pwet ko)
Driver:  Ahhh… Buntut!
Ako: No, I know buntut. Buntut is tail right? Like monkey, tail? Buntut. I mean fart. The smell.
Driver: Ahhhh I know I know. Kan*ut!
Ako: (Shocked) Really?! Kan*ut! Hahahaha. What does, Kan*ut means? (just to make sure)
Driver: Bad smell, you asked. Why you Kan*ut ah? Don’t Kan*ut inside my cab. Hahahaha
 
Tinanong ko sya sa malay messenger namin. True enough Kan*ut nga ang malay word ng utot.

Edited by alex_corvis, 21 May 2015 - 11:11 AM.


#4 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 10:24 AM

Hi!!! Congrats s room! Hala ilabas mo lahat ng rants mo sa buhay.. makikirant din ako..

 

Uy first guest hahaha. at dahil dyan may premyo kang 5 minutes na french kiss. Promise w/o Malice!



#5 👑Daenerys🍕

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 10:53 AM

Nice room lah :]



#6 femcasanova

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 11:13 AM

 
Uy first guest hahaha. at dahil dyan may premyo kang 5 minutes na french kiss. Promise w/o Malice!


Wow may early bird promo pala dto a room mo!!!

Gawin mong 3 hours!! Promise walang malisya!
Natawa ako s taxi drivers kwento.. hahahahaha

Gusto marinig ung accent, live!

#7 DyosangLigaw

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 11:21 AM

Napadaan lang... 



#8 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 11:24 AM

Napadaan lang... 

 

welcome :) Dyosang naligaw :)


Wow may early bird promo pala dto a room mo!!!

Gawin mong 3 hours!! Promise walang malisya!
Natawa ako s taxi drivers kwento.. hahahahaha

Gusto marinig ung accent, live!

 

ahihihihi. 3 hours? Kinilig ako. Ahihihihihi



#9 femcasanova

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 12:03 PM

 
welcome :) Dyosang naligaw :)

 
ahihihihi. 3 hours? Kinilig ako. Ahihihihihi



Haha ano kaya itsura mo pag kinikilig.?? Hmmmmm

#10 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 12:36 PM

 

Nice room lah :]

 

 

Thank you lah!



#11 filipinascarlett

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 12:41 PM

just passin by

#12 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 12:46 PM

just passin by

 

Hey Hi! I just visited your blog from your signature! Awesome awesome stories :)



#13 filipinascarlett

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 12:48 PM

 
Hey Hi! I just visited your blog from your signature! Awesome awesome stories :)



wow. thanks ;)

#14 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 01:34 PM

wow. thanks ;)

 

ay wala pala sa signature mo :P nasa profile info :)



#15 filipinascarlett

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 01:49 PM

 
ay wala pala sa signature mo :P nasa profile info :)



medyo napaisip nga ako eh, eh hindi ko rin naman kita kasi mobile view lang gamit ko.

#16 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 03:27 PM

=== Kwentong Pagkamulat sa Kamunduhan Ko ===

 

Pene. Bomba. Bold. Porno. Kung meron mang literal na eksampol ang salitang guilty pleasure, eto na siguro yun. Well, at least guilty pleasure sa mga lalaki. Kilala mo ba si Maria Ozawa, Jenna Haze, Sora Aoi, Faye Reagan at Amia Moretti? Hindi? Ok, baka kilala mo lang sila sa mukha. Pamilyar ka ba sa redtube, youjizz, bangbus, badjojo? Hindi? Isa kang malaking sinungaling! Napanood mo na ba yung yung mga scandal ni Pamela Anderson tsaka Katrina Halili? Hindi pa din? Ipokrito ka na nyan.

 

Aaminin ko medyo maaga ako namulat dyan. Mostly kasalanan ni Sailor Moon. Wala namang malisya sakin kung gawin nilang parang one piece bathing suit yung school uniform nila. Fetish nila yun. Or kung kung anu-anong pagtuwad ang gawin nila para mag change ng costume. Pero nagiba ang pangingin ko sila ng isang araw sa bahay ng classmate ko may nakita kaming nakakalat na betamax – “DragonballZ vs Sailormoon” Sinaksak namin at pinanood. Wasak. Simula noon nagbago na ang tingin ko sa kanila. Pati na kay ChiChi, Bulma at Vegeta.  Dadiskubre namin kung bakit tinatawag ng mga Saiyan si Gokou na Kakarot. Magaling pala sya kumangkang.

 

Parang simula noon, nauso na sa classroom namin ang maghiraman ng ganung betamax. Pero di ko nagustuhan yung pinapasa nila sa kin. Urotsigodoji, Bible Black etc, kung saan bida ang mga aliens na merong mala octopus na haba ang pototoy. Muntik na akong magkaroon ng inferiory complex. Pero noon yun. Nag mature na ako. Mas prefer ko na live action. Bwahaha.

 

Naalala ko pa nung kabinataan ko. Sa wakas nagkaroon na kami ng vcd player, pinahiram ako ng barkada ko ng hentai na dvd na pinamagatang “Four play” about sya sa normal na Japanese HS students na malilibog. Walang alien, mabuti naman.  Nakalimutan ko na yung istorya, hindi naman yun mahalaga, total i-forward ko din naman sa “action scenes”. Sa bahay namin, sa sala ako natutulog, kasama yung isang kapatid ko na lalaki, meron ata syang overnight boyscout trip nun, basta naalala ko wala sya sa bahay. Solo ko ang Sala. Nasa sala ang Tv at vcd. Hehehehehe. Naisipan kong panarooin yung nahiram ko. Syempre kabado ako yung mata ko nasa tv, yung tenga ko nakaabang sa galaw sa likod ng mga pinto, yung kamay ko….. nasa skip/forward ng vcd.

 

Nasa magandang scene ako ng biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kitchen. Biglaan kong pinindot ang stop tapos diretsong eject button, pero its too late (ok taglish) Nahuli ako ng nanay ko! Tumayo sya ng mga ilang segundong tahimik, sabay sabi “Lagot ka bukas sa papa mo” Na may kasamang panlilisik ang mata. Needless to say, hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos at pinagpawisan ako ng malamig. Sa agahan, hindi ako makatingin sa nanay ko. Parang gusto ko maglaho at bagsakan ng kisame nung narinig ko sya kausap tatay ko, at nilakasan ang boses para marinig ko “May isusumbong ako sayo” sabi ng nanay ko….

 

“Alam mo yang anak mo, kagabi nahuli ko. Gabi na nanonood pa ng Cartoons!” Diretsa sa litanyang “kaya nagmamahal ang kuryente natin eh, hindi na iniisip ang gastusin… blah blah blah …( usual morning nagging)” Di ko alam kung makahinga ba ako ng malalim or mamatay sa hiya. Pero simula noon tumigil na ako manood nun.

 

Paminsan minsan na lang. Pag bored. Ganun. 



#17 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 03:37 PM

medyo napaisip nga ako eh, eh hindi ko rin naman kita kasi mobile view lang gamit ko.

 

are they all your experience or parang erotic fiction?



#18 filipinascarlett

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 04:01 PM

 
are they all your experience or parang erotic fiction?



what do you think?

#19 femcasanova

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 04:35 PM

Ikaw naman pla nanonood ka pa kasi ng cartoons!!! Hahahaha

#20 Mr.Monday

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Posted 21 May 2015 - 06:55 PM

what do you think?

 

I guess it doesn't matter. I like what's written naman :)






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